Gender Interaction - A Sarah's (moderate muslim?) Perspective

Salaam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

How has everybody been? Good? And how's your Iman today? Good? AlhamduliLlah. In the midst of all the assignment and exams madness, it is a challenege to balance both sides (not that going to school is not a religious thing; in fact it is an 'ibadah'.) and get the best of both 'ilm (knowledge) and towards attaining Allah's pleasure. InsyaAllah.

What brought me to pen down my thoughts today? Hmm. Well ... I think it is a good way to let go of the thoughts that are crammed inside my head. Try knocking: I think its empty. Haha.

Basically, its the juggle with school work as well as MS and NPCC stuffs. I'm totally putting aside the latter. I know my cadets miss me, considering it is their last year and that I've been there for them all these while. My eyes welled up with tears as I compiled their photos two weekends ago. All the snapshots while they were younger. Four years with them has created this strong bond between myself and each and everyone of them. Like the saying goes, it takes a bunch of imperfects to make the team perfect. And dynamic.

Throughout the years, we meet people and eventually they leave us. That's the typical scenario in NPCC. However, it is the journey that we shared together that makes the memory everlasting. A journey where both coexist in symbiosis. We benefit from one another's presence. We both grow: aesthetically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I will miss them. I know I will.

To my beloved Secondary 4s, I wish you the best in life and hope that whatever you have learnt in the past 4 years are what you will apply in the future. Like a friend once told me: take someone's mistake as an example and make your mistake as an experience. Life is all about tripping and falling. But it is the getting up that matters most. Whatever you do, no matter how difficult it is, persevere and rise up to these challenges. Only then you'll know how strong you truly are. Physical strength? Who needs that when you can't even boost your morale.

Friendship (and not diamonds) is forever. True friends can never be bought. Treat them well and you know you're in for a lifelong journey, one that is blessed with great companions.

Here comes another point which I would like to raise. This is not intended to target at or offend anyone. If I happen to do so, my deepest apologies for having done so.

The concept of 'socialising'. It has been an issue with some. Perhaps its the interaction between opposite gender? Or perhaps its just not the top priority. I don't know. I have grown up in a 'super' secular environment. Furthermore, my parents are not too stringent about the people I hang out with. Thus, my groups of friends are vast: they come from all walks of life.

So when I first heard that socialising is a (slight) issue, from an Islamic point of view, it brings me to think: have I been doing it all wrong when it comes to socialising? Well, you know, in NPCC, physical interaction (high-fives, holding hands during the friendship dance, or during the blind-fold game etc.) was never an issue but it didn't mould me to become a person who yearns for all these things from a non-muhrim (you get what I mean). Such games DO NOT turn you into one. Unless one has a slightly crooked orientation and take advantage of all these games. Only God knows.

So I might have been jahil then. But to me, I personally feel that the intention is the one that determines your pahala (rewards) and dosa (sins). Furthermore, when it comes to secular activities (I can't believe that I'm actually dichotomising secular from religious), it is best that we stick to the status quo. But of course, I beg to differ. =)

I can't possibly tell my camp coordinators: hey, from now on, no more 'touching' games, just to accommodate to my interest. I know that my cadets are largely Muslims but its me against the rest. It will never get through. But at least I tried. In fact, I feel indebted to my camp coordinators and my Chinese teacher, Mr Chua, for understanding my need (as well as some of my Muslim campers') to do our five daily prayers. There was a condition attached: provided it doesn't disrupt with the activities. People going missing during a camp is not a pleasant thing. In fact, we adhere to the condition because we know that it is the best option. And I am very grateful to have these understanding people around.

So back to the gender interaction bit. FOC is called a social camp (not that I am advocating touching games. In fact, I DON'T especially since NUSMS is one of the joint organiser), thus the objective must, to some extent, involve largely the act of socialising. It is ironical to have too much religious elements in the camp itself. These elements should be made subtle; after all, we are collaborating with another society whose aim is not solely religion-based. I feel that it is only fair if we strike a balance for both. But no touching aites?

And now, my project GoStong Royong. Hmm. Perhaps I shouldn't disclose too much on the activities that we are going to do. But trust me, it will strike a balance between outdoor adrenaline rush as well as the sedating effect of Islamic teachings, in line with NUSMS's mission, vision and motto. =). It's my project and I know what I want and how it turns out to be. Like duhh.

Alright, I've talked too much. Back to my Chemistry assignment. I must enjoy doing it. Otherwise, it will just be another pain. Haha. I love Chemistry! (sentence was typed out of desperation).

Ouh, and all the best for the upcoming exams. InsyaAllah we will all pull through with hard work, supplications and tawakkal (not before the exams!).


And with that, wabillahi taufiq wal hidayah, 'assalamu'alaikum wr wb.