Seeking for Truth ...

Sadness ... It's Just a Feeling that No One Can Comprehend.

2009-01-07T09:33:00.003+08:00

Salaam.

I'm sad. No, it's not only because someone is away for a week, but due to many different things, when put together, that puts me down.

What happened?

I realised that I am not having the friends that I used to have. And now that Hafiz is away, I realised that I don't really have a very close friend to talk/confide into after all. Normally he has been the one who listens. But he listens to more persons than just me. Alhamdulillah, there's mother, who is always there for me (especially when I'm lonely or down). This made me realise how much I have neglected her and the rest of the family for that matter. Eating dinner and watching TV at night together were a thing of the past. Sometimes I wish those times would come back. But I know it won't. Everyone seems occupied with their interest. Even the recent one-day trip to Melaka left me frustrated with my Dad. Somehow going to Langkawi with Yam made me forget all these family worries, but escaping is only going to make me feel more distant from them all.

My entire family is beginning to feel this. I love them. But they're convinced that I'm not.

I have always been the one who will be away for camps or holidays almost every school holiday since I was in Primary Five. I don't blame them if they feel that way.

School, MS, Hafiz have gotten the best of me. And now that it's the holidays, I am free from all these. But this made me realise that it's the friends whom I truly need. So who are my friends? I do not know. Where are they? I do not know. They are busy. And I seem to be busy too. No time for friends. I'm such a bad friend. =(

I have not been in contact with my JC friends, who already have their own cliques now (I salute the guys, be it Sekapur Sireh or the Bekals for keeping the friendship between them strong despite having gone their separate ways). As for the girls, it's almost impossible to plan for an outing. So far, there has not been a single reunion/jalan raya since we graduated. Shrugs.

I realise that in university, I have made alot of 'touch-and-go' friends, but none that are really close to me. Even if there's Tom, Diana and Nuraina, I rarely contact them nor do they contact me. Everyone is caught up with their own work. I don't blame them.

My resolution for the New Hijrah/Year of 2009, is to foster friendships which are beyond skin-deep. And to re-connect all broken ties and make them stronger than ever before. In addition to that, to also physically (by exercising more) and spiritually (by attending religious classes, lectures, etc.) enhance myself. And I hope this would mark the start of a great future. Ameen. =).

People whom I miss:

* Mother (she is gone for ngaji lessons and will only be back after Zuhur, sobbs)
* Baba, Abang & Adik (they'll be back from work at 7pm)
* Muhammad Norhafiz Bin Samsudin (tomorrow night, InsyaAllah)
* Diana and the NPCC peeps, including Mr Chua (seeing them this Friday, InsyaAllah)
* Nuraina & Lee Jia Qi & Hafizah & Izzulwan
* My J05 squadmates like Ridhuan, Hisyam, etc. and A10 lao jiaos like Yvette, HuiSan, etc.
* My Jing-Gang (I have no idea when most of us would be free to meet up) =(
* AMOR-ians, every single one of them especially Gamar, Amee, Ain, Filzah, Ibz (this CNY hols InsyaAllah)
* My APEX 2008 kids, especially Nusaibah (I don't even know when I'll ever see them)
* My 44th and 45th exco members (even though I get to see them in school quite often)

And of course, there's many more. I have greater sense of attachment to these groups of people and ofcourse, they are more dearly missed. =(.

I guess I feel better now. Now that I have a list of people whom I miss, I should do something about it. Pronto! Before school reopens next Monday ... =).

Posting just for the sake of Posting

2008-12-03T11:48:00.002+08:00

Salaam.

Exams are finally over. =). Yayy.

One down, many more to come. Life is always full of challenges. (Sheesh, I guess everyone knows that).

Well, I don't think I have much to post. Nothing interesting has been going on. Just a second suicide (or so I heard) case occuring at my block. My block is going to be the notorious block in the neighborhood from the looks of it. Shrugs.

Ya, that's basically it. And oh yes, my grandmother will be discharged this Friday! Alhamdulillah. It has been more than a month since she encountered stroke. She is much better healthier now. Thanks to all that have been supplicating for her. Thank you Allah for giving her another chance to live.

Okay, done. I've got to clean up my room. It's a big mess. Worse than a jungle. =)

Wassalaam.

The Names of Allah, the Most High and the Most Gracious.

2008-10-16T07:10:00.003+08:00

Salaam 'Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah, I get to see this day, to type out this entry. Thank You Allah.

I guess I'm beginning to think more nowadays. I am beginning to question why and what ifs more often than ever.

Last night's conversations (after the talk by Ustaz Iqbal Abdullah in school) with a few friends left me wondering:

1. to supplicate with utmost conviction

Have I been doing that all these while? I have to agree that it's hard to follow du'as in the mosques/madrasahs if I don't understand Arab or what that's being recited by the Imam. But what I suggest we can do is to first learn (and I don't mean by merely reciting/singing but internalise the meanings of all the 99 names of Allah swt) the Asma'ul Husna. Through this, InsyaAllah, we should be able to understand the Qur'an, Du'as a little bit more.

Here's a link which I hope you will find useful. http://www.asmaulhusna.com/

I am still in the process of bringing myself closer to the religion. I know it's not an overnight thing. Plus, even if we are 'somewhere there', what's most important is istiqamah (consistency). Even if one feels that he/she has seen the light, received hidayah, etc. It is the follow-up part that is most crucial And I am very worried that I might not be able to pull through. But armed with shabr (patience) and shukr (gratitude) as th two-halves of Iman (faith), I will always remember the need to convict myself fully to Allah swt.

2. Why am I accepting all that is taught without questioning?

I can recall the days where I actively attended my bi-weekly religious classes at a mosque. Alhamdulillah most of the things taught there are still stuck inside my little head. Indeed I am grateful. But there are many other things which I felt that I should have learnt, which I have not learnt.

Back then, I accepted the fact that I have to observe my Five Pillars of Faith i.e. prayers, fast, etc without questioning why. And the asatizahs never really emphasised the importance of why we perform our rituals. Sad to say, there are prayers' recitations which I am still unable to fully comprehend. It's sad I know, but I would rather be honest. I need help too.

But now that I am older, I begin to realise, why in the first place we do so. I know it's inappropriate to provide young kids with surahs, sunnahs and hadiths which are beyond the intelllectual capacity of a 13 year old child. But it is at this age when the mind is most malleable. It can easily be bent, bringing one away from the religion.

My dad always adopts this analogy when raising the three of us up: don't touch the teapot when it's hot i.e. don't go and find problem or do things which can end oneupin misery. But on the other hand, my mum, who is the more optimistic half, will always dare us to touch the hot pot, insisting that the best way to learn is through making mistakes and remember it for the rest of our lives. I call it the 'conditioned reflex' analogy. I love Biology. =).

3. the Will power

I realise that I am not applying whatever that I have learnt in the past. I used to be a self-motivated leader but am dwindling somehow. Need some 'perking up'. So when Norhafiz told me the difference between "I will try to do it" and "I will do it", it made me realise that I have not been doing things the way I should: whole-heartedly. What am I studying for? Hmm, let me see, ultimately, to live comfortably? I simply overlooked the fact that I AM going to become a teacher. Even if it's not in the Islamic fields, it is the intention and passion of wanting to share, to mould the future generation which actually made me realise all this. I am beginning to enjoy what I am studying (somewhat, and still trying to work on this) and InsyaAllah, I am doing this for God i.e. to share and educate all brothers and sisters, both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

4. the people around me

I am a person who does not do things without understanding why. I have a friend who prays as and when he/she likes it i.e. when she feels ikhlas in wanting to prostrate before the Lord. I don't blame him/her because he/she never got the opportunity to learn about the religion. Through my friends and what I have gone through, parents are like painters and the child, a long (depending on the journey one goes through), white piece of cloth. Whatever that is painted on this cloth reflects the parents' characters and the child's upbringings.

Family and friends play in important role in moulding an individual. But at this stage where I meet my friends more than I get to talk to my family, friends play a greater influence in getting me to where I am today. I am grateful to have the family and friends that I have. What IF I had been in another place? What if I had been born into a different family? What IF I die tomorrow? One can never escape from the What Ifs of life. I know I can't. But as of now, I make do with what I need, not what I want.

I know I may not be the best person to talk to about any form of intellectual discourse, be it Islamic or non-. I can't recall hadiths, nor surahs/sunnahs from the back of my hands. That's why I don't - because that's not who I am. I know what I want in life. And all I want is to share what I know, what I am feeling, what I have gone through. Sometimes I feel like being a mu'allaf, eager to know what it's like to be overwhelmed with what Islam has in store for me. Somehow I would like to go through that 'muallaf-like' transitionary period i.e. from an 'old' Muslim to a new and better Muslim. Indeed, I highly commend all our newly-joined brothers and sisters of this faith.

All said, now I wish I could convict myself fully to my studies. =). It's another conviction which I feel, I need time getting used to.

Wallahua'lam.

Wassalaam.

http://www.asmaulhusna.com/

Censorship: Yes, No, Maybe, I Don't Know

2008-09-21T21:08:00.003+08:00

Salaam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

Alhamdulillah we are all now in the final stretch of Ramadan. I sincerely hope that everyone has optimised the days with ibadahs and good deeds.

It heartens me to see and hear many brothers and sisters who have reaped the most out of the previous 22 days. Lail-Al Qadr. That sought-after night. InsyaAllah those who deserve it will gain the benefits. I am envious of these people (I am personally confident that I am not one of them - sometimes I wish that I could be just like them) but at the same time, I am happy for them. I should emulate these people, their spirit, their strengths, their sincerity. I have alot to learn.

On the other hand, I am obsessed with too much of this-wordly matter such that I have lost touch from my religion. Prayers yes, fast yes, but anything beyond that, it seems almost impossible to do so. Mid-terms just around the corner, Hari Raya preparations (I have to help my parents out) and voluntary work, the list seems never ending. Oh well, I'm still learning how to juggle both. Please be patient with me. I am trying my best to multi-task, to be versatile. But it takes practice and of course, time.

I'm beginning to feel scared now ... Haiz. Astaghafirullahal'azhim. What am I doing to my life? =(

Next, the issue of freedom of speech within the Islamic context. To what extent should a Muslim limit him-/herself when conducting on a public online domain? Should there be any form of censorship imposed when it comes to inappropriate graphics/words/expressions such as vulgarities, slander, etc? Should a person be excused from such censorship just to proof his/her point? If there are other more subtle, less controversial alternatives (which I strongly believe, are often present) should we still be persistent in using the inappropriate? I am not trying to arrow anyone. I am just curious. I am keen to find out what everyone feels.

How should a Muslim conduct him or herself online? Should it be any different from the way a Christian/Jewish/Hindu, etc. conducts?

And is there any difference between the way a typical Muslim conduct from the way a Muslim undergraduate/graduate should? Just because the latter is often encouraged to pursue in intellectual discourses (so as not to be left behind), critical thinking, etc, that doesn't mean that we are any different from any Muslims in the population. Any limitation imposed by Islam is applicable to all.

Just because there is freedom of speech on the Internet, should we use this as an excuse to slander/hurl vulgarities, etc? After all, Islam forbids us to do so. So why are we still persistent?

Your views are very much appreciated. My stand is still, as stated above. Censorship is the way to go. I can never please everyone. But I am trying my best to please most of us.

Ultimately it all boils down to our intention. If it's for the benefit of netizens, it's okay. But then again, what you feel is beneficial, might not be beneficial for someone else. Your intention might have been good, but it is inevitable for us humans to misinterpret the true meaning. Shrugs.

Oh well, it is kind of confusing. It's hard for a person to discern what should be censored and what should not. Like what I've said earlier, I can't please everyone. Unfortunately.

With regards to the discussion above, I beg to differ. I want to know from readers of this blog,

As a Muslim, what do you feel should be censored? What should not? And by censoring, are we being 'backward' in our thinking?

I am not the most perfect of human beings (like duhhh). As such, I wish to learn from everyone. Feel free to comment. Your views are very much appreciated. Wassalaam. =)

Why Is It Just So Hard To Do Good?

2008-09-11T11:14:00.003+08:00

Peace be upon everyone.

Yes, it's already Ramadan. My conscience is getting the best of me. Yes, the guilt from not optimising Ramadan. I had expected this already. Oh boy.

Some things in life are easy to get whereas others, well, let's just say if it's not time for you to get/do it, it's just not time. So no matter how you strive for it, it will take time before you reap the benefits of all your hard work. And ibadah in the month of Ramadan, is one of them. I beg to differ, of course.

I'm being steeped (from head to toe) in this-worldly matters such as schoolwork, NUSMS, family, friends, etc. that they 'followed' me in my tarawih prayers. The long duration of the prayer makes me vulnerable to such materialistic thought-attacks. I'm still trying. I hope it will turn out for the better.

I need guidance from everyone around me. Now that I'm down with a very bad ache in my shoulders, all I wish to do is to sleep. Nothing else. Just want to get that long overdued, hard-earned rest.

Getting more sleep I guess.

One last, publicity for NUSMS's iftar!

Refer to the poster below! This is my first poster design. Feel free to comment. =). I know it's bad laa.

That's it from me. Wanachat with Diana instead. Yes, I miss you alot! =)

Wassalaam.

What? No Studying? Oh no ...

2008-08-30T23:59:00.004+08:00

Salaam Alaikum.

How has your Saturday been so far? I hope it has been a fruitful one thus far. I know mine was. Alhamdulillah. I optimised the time I had.

1. APEX Mentoring

I came only to start lessons at 10am, after which I had to leave at 11am for the next event. I felt that today was my best Apex session so far. Perhaps it has never been a 'sit-down-in-smaller-groups' session with the Wayfarers. Yup, that's what they call themselves. I think they are a great bunch of hyperactive kids. Sometimes you just can't help but reminisce those kental moments of your life while in primary school. Haha. Who could forget the toothbrush and tumbler which we were often forced to use after recess. Truthfully, I enjoyed it a lot. Haha. Coming from an OCD-ian like me, I guess that's not something new. But my point is, I have always succumbed myself to such a high level of cleanliness. It's only recently I've started to put my bag on the floor (largely influenced by him of course) and couldn't be bothered about dirty toilets (try askin Izzati of our experience in Redang!) any more. Oh well, do not be surprised that you're hearing this from a Cadet Inspector. Haha. All the other CIs must be ashamed of me. Anw, I was never girly. Not even up till today. So if you find that I am, I think you've mad a big mistake. =).

Back to Apex, the kids were excited about the chalet and the outdoor adventure elements. Some even brought their own pillow la! I was impressed. Reminded me of the yellow hippo Hafiz gave me before I left for Cambodia. Haha. Brought it out for debrief during the last few nights. Mata sakit laa. Everyone was already sleepy and the BRIGHT yellow hippow plush was glaring!

I was sad when Saiyidah asked me why I wasn't attending APEX Appreciates. I didn't have a choice. I had to attend my religious class which I've skipped for the past 3 weeks.

2. LBKM Award Ceremony
I couldn't stay long. But within that 2 hours, I bumped into a lot of people I know. I was doing ushering and I was indeed surprised that I saw alot of NUS, NTU and TPJC friends whom I know. I'm happy for them. At least now I know who to call to help out for LBKM's events next year. Hehehhh *evil laughter*.

3. Majlis tahlil
Instead of having lessons, we had tahlil instead. Haiz. I would have attended APEX Appreciates had I known. It was pointless for me to stay there because I was super sleepy. But the kenduri food which followed suit was superb! That made up for not being able to attend Appreciates. But Saiyidah's question will always haunt me. Haiz. But skipping APEX also meant I could visit my grandmother. I'm really not spending enough time with her. I'm feeling the guilt already.

4. My dad and his camera 'power'
So yes, he invested his $1K plus plus on a Nikon DSLR camera. Can't recall the model though. So he brought my mum to Suntec City to shop at the PC show, and then to Esplanade to .... TAKE PHOTOS! Haha. I'm very supportive of his newfound hobby. The thing about my dad is that his interests change every few months. Thank goodness he can't drive otherwise he'll be changing his car and the spare parts every now and the. Oh, yes, so if he loses his drive in photography, the DSLR cam is gonna be mine. He already promised. =). Professional photography for me please?

So that's it for today. I'm super sleepy and shagged. Long day indeed. Sorry today's post is nothing but about myself. How selfish of me. But at least you will learn more about me. Hmm.

Wassalaam. Nyonya wants to sleep liao. =)

My Hope for this Ramadan: To be a Better Servant of God =)

2008-08-27T09:01:00.003+08:00

Salaam Alaikum. Ahlan wa sahlan ya akhi wa ukhti. (An amateurish attempt at trying to greet in Arab, I know - Maryam, Hannah please correct me tau).

Anyway, I KNOW! It's been weeks since I actually had the time to sit down an bother to type out this long-awaited post (not that anyone is waiting ... haha!). I've decided to have this post to remind each and everyone of us that ... Ramadan is just around the corner! And it's coming fast. Generally, I know I will get three types of response when I say that.

1. Full of dreadfulness and misery: "Alaaaa .... Must fast again. Cannot study laaa like this. My body will feel soooo weak that I can't even get out of bed!" "Alaa, must zakat again!"

Okay okay. I admit, I used to be like that and I know I will be like that during some parts of this coming Ramadan (I can predict because I know myself really well). Sometimes we are so obsessed with the fact that we have to fast, and not having the energy to enable us to do the activities we normally do, that we forget the true meaning of Ramadan.

Ramadan is synonymous to fast. True, but that's not entirely true. In fact, Ramadan is a month of barakah. A month of opportunity I would say. This is the best time for us to overcome our bad habit (of eating too much that it becomes a health hazard, of smoking, gambling, zina, etc.) because when one fasts, his eyes, mind, hands, etc. fast too. It's not just the mouth and stomach.

The 'weakness' within an individual is largely psychological. If you convince yourself that this 'no food for atmost 14 hours = no energy = weak = cannot do work' equation is true, you're in for some serious brainwash.

In fact, scientists have proven that fasting for at most 14 months would in fact, allow you to experience deep sleep. In other words, you sleep more soundly, comfortably, easily in the nights of Ramadan. Now that explains why we rarely feel tired despite sleeping later than usual and waking up super early. Well. God knows and cares for his creations.

"Our Lord, do not burden us beyond what we have the power, the strength, to bear, of obligations and trials"

Al-Baqarah: 286

So indeed, the only reason why we fast is because of the simple fact that GOD LOVES US! Yet, we find Ramadan a pain more than a pleasure. Let's change our mindset on Ramadan and InsyaAllah we will benefit the most from it.

I am currently holding on to this magazine which Brother Badawi (yesh, he's our new VP yayy!) has kindly lent me this Islamic magazine 'AlJumuah'. You can find out more through this link: http://www.aljumuah.com/. I enjoyed reading the articles. There's this section on Ramadan which I found impressive and impactful. If you do not wish to subscribe, feel free to inform myself or Brother Badawi himself. He'd be glad to led it to you. He's super nice.

I still don't get it why some 'take a break' from their weekly classes/sessions because it's Ramadan. And I thought sitting through an hour seeking 'ilm is way better than the many hours of dhikrs. So why are people still persistent in 'closing temporarily' these classes? Shrugs. Anyone?

2. Neutral reaction. "Ramadan again? So? I still fast and do my Tarawih prayers. Why should I go beyond?"

I can safely say I'm largely like that. That is why I need people around me to tell me that "heyy, there's more to Ramadan than just that you know!". I already know it in 'theory' but to practice it, the best way to learn is definitely not through making mistakes (but you do learnt most from it) but rather from picking up good habits of the people around us.

3. Jumps with joy upon hearing the word 'Ramadan'. "MasyaAllah! I can't believe that I get to see and experience another Ramadan!".

I've not reached this stage yet. It's still developing within me. I look forward less to Eid but more of the Tarawih. Not because I will get to lose weight from all the 'tunggang-tonggek' but it proves to be a challenge for myself. I will have to overcome all my insincerities to ensure that my ibadah are all 'accepted' by God.

But then again, I find that Ramadan is being misunderstood at times. Some will only elevate their spirituality only in Ramadan but in other months .... Who knows. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone but I strongly feel that our iman, taqwa should also be at its optimum throughout our lives i.e. for all 12 months from Muharram to Zulhijjah and so forth. Perhaps in Ramadan, we have the opportunity to do more i.e. through tarawih. But that only increases our ibadah whereas for our taqwa and iman, it should be at its optimum as always.

I know that I am in no position to make such remarks and crude comments. Who am I to talk like some revered Ustaz or Ulama' right? But what I do know is that, I need help from everyone to better myself. It's easier for people to do so when they are together. Positive peer influence, I shall say, is most effective for me. So let us all do this together and attain the most from this coming Ramadan.

Like what many would say, who knows this Ramadan might very well be your last. And just to remind you, we're not even in Ramadan just yet. So what have we done to salvage ourselves from the fury of hellfire? Only we know. But of course, Allah swt knows better.

Wassalaam.

2008-08-05T11:56:00.002+08:00

Salaam Alaikum Wr Wb.

Hellllooooo Singapore! And Welcome back to NUS peeps. I know school's starting next week but it's good to both mentally and physically (I wonder how I'm going to do that) prepare ourselves for the long dreadful hours in the lecture theatres. Labs are fun although some would beg to differ.

I'm at Psych Lab in NTU now. Earning money from doing a survey on the Malay Culture. Haha.

Need to log off . Hafiz is done. Haha.

Will update once I reach home.

Wassalaam.

Pelita-ta! =)

2008-07-04T22:02:00.002+08:00

Salaam Alaikum Wr Wb.

Hehh. I know. *showing the guilty face* Sorry I've not been updating my blog religiously. Caught up with alot of commitments. Lacking sleep and exercise, binge-ing. I'm so gonna fall sick. In fact, I'm feeling a little feverish right now. Haha. Not good, I know. Considering my Cambodia OE is TOMORROW!

Yup. That's on the top of my list next to God, family and him. =). Alhamdulillah everything is going as planned. Smooth thus far. Hopefully there won't be glitches along the way that may prevent Amor2008 from becoming a success.

Alhamdulillah Stong went well. All the other camps which I helped with went fine. Hopefully both the NUS and NTU MS FOCs proceed as planned. InsyaAllah.

Okay la. I've got to go. Need to get some sleep. Haizz. Won't be updating anytime soon. Two weeks' time InsyaAllah.

Before I go, I, Siti Sarah Binti Mohammed, would like to extend my deepest, most sincere apology if I have wronged and/or offended anyone be it intentionally or unintentionally. I wouldn't know if I will come back. For all we know, I might not. I really hope that each and every one of you reading this blog pray for the team's safety and the success of the Pelita project. InsyaAllah with your supplications, we may very well gather that extra strength to push ourselves further. Alright, that's it from me.

Wassalaam.

Life is Not All About Rituals, Seeking Knowledge and Good Moral Values. Really.

2008-05-13T23:11:00.007+08:00

Salaam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

Finally exams are over. 1 year down, 3 more to go (I intend to do my honours, InsyaAllah).

Unfortunately, all my MS and NPCC stuffs have to resume once again. And it's taking too much of my time. My entire time really. And people are not too happy about it because I don't have time to spend with them, especially my siblings and you-know-who.

If one were to read up Al Asr, man is encouraged to optimise his time performing good deeds (Al-Maaruf) and refrain from doing evil. But when one has too many things to do but too little time to accomplish, it's time to sit down and revisit this surah. If doing so much is going to have an adverse effect on one's self, whatever you're doing is NOT recommended. True enough falling sick is part and parcel of life but it could have been avoided in the first place. It's like intentionally stuffing your face full with sugar-rich food when you're young so that you can get diabetes at a later age. Why? Because I want to suffer now than to suffer later in the after-life. ???

Who are we to decide and regulate the pleasure and pain that we will experience in the afterlife? What I suggest is (not that I'm some expert in this field, but from whatever I have learnt in the past 2 decades) that we abstain ourselves from performing sinful acts and perform our good deeds whole-heartedly, without expecting remuneration from God or the people around us. I feel that constitutes the basis of becoming a good Muslim. Personally, a good Muslim should not be judged based on the rituals he performs or the knowledge he gains, but in his sincerity in doing them. And only God knows this well enough.

Parents' emphasis on Anak Soleh as one who performs his rituals dutifully and has good akhlak (behaviour or moral values), has misled the entire Malay-Muslim community into becoming a ritualistic (and sometimes highly 'plastic') society. Children nowadays, without questioning, follows as they are told. And most of the time, they are not even sure of why they do certain things. Take for example, myself. I was never taught the importance of praying. The only justification for Muslims to pray is that it is one of the five pillars of faith in Islam. So what? To me, they have missed out the fact that God has created man for us to obey Him and that solah is a way for us to 'communicate' with God. However, it is important to note that we are Muslims not only when performing our prayers but all the time. Who says we can communicate to God only when we are on our prayer mats? Who says we are Muslims only when we visit the mosques or perform our rituals?

Islam is more than that. To a Muslim, we live, breathe, eat, drink, sleep Islam. But don't push it. Or you'll end up becoming radicals. =). In life, I attain to be a moderate Muslim who is able to balance both the life now and the one hereafter. Let's pray that this will be the one thing I'm able to achieve apart from dying as a faithful Muslim. InsyaAllah.

I wish to do more, but I am just one person restricted by many factors such as time, strength and priorities. I wish I could do more ...

Wassalaam,

Nyonya

Gender Interaction - A Sarah's (moderate muslim?) Perspective

2008-04-09T08:45:00.004+08:00

Salaam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

How has everybody been? Good? And how's your Iman today? Good? AlhamduliLlah. In the midst of all the assignment and exams madness, it is a challenege to balance both sides (not that going to school is not a religious thing; in fact it is an 'ibadah'.) and get the best of both 'ilm (knowledge) and towards attaining Allah's pleasure. InsyaAllah.

What brought me to pen down my thoughts today? Hmm. Well ... I think it is a good way to let go of the thoughts that are crammed inside my head. Try knocking: I think its empty. Haha.

Basically, its the juggle with school work as well as MS and NPCC stuffs. I'm totally putting aside the latter. I know my cadets miss me, considering it is their last year and that I've been there for them all these while. My eyes welled up with tears as I compiled their photos two weekends ago. All the snapshots while they were younger. Four years with them has created this strong bond between myself and each and everyone of them. Like the saying goes, it takes a bunch of imperfects to make the team perfect. And dynamic.

Throughout the years, we meet people and eventually they leave us. That's the typical scenario in NPCC. However, it is the journey that we shared together that makes the memory everlasting. A journey where both coexist in symbiosis. We benefit from one another's presence. We both grow: aesthetically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I will miss them. I know I will.

To my beloved Secondary 4s, I wish you the best in life and hope that whatever you have learnt in the past 4 years are what you will apply in the future. Like a friend once told me: take someone's mistake as an example and make your mistake as an experience. Life is all about tripping and falling. But it is the getting up that matters most. Whatever you do, no matter how difficult it is, persevere and rise up to these challenges. Only then you'll know how strong you truly are. Physical strength? Who needs that when you can't even boost your morale.

Friendship (and not diamonds) is forever. True friends can never be bought. Treat them well and you know you're in for a lifelong journey, one that is blessed with great companions.

Here comes another point which I would like to raise. This is not intended to target at or offend anyone. If I happen to do so, my deepest apologies for having done so.

The concept of 'socialising'. It has been an issue with some. Perhaps its the interaction between opposite gender? Or perhaps its just not the top priority. I don't know. I have grown up in a 'super' secular environment. Furthermore, my parents are not too stringent about the people I hang out with. Thus, my groups of friends are vast: they come from all walks of life.

So when I first heard that socialising is a (slight) issue, from an Islamic point of view, it brings me to think: have I been doing it all wrong when it comes to socialising? Well, you know, in NPCC, physical interaction (high-fives, holding hands during the friendship dance, or during the blind-fold game etc.) was never an issue but it didn't mould me to become a person who yearns for all these things from a non-muhrim (you get what I mean). Such games DO NOT turn you into one. Unless one has a slightly crooked orientation and take advantage of all these games. Only God knows.

So I might have been jahil then. But to me, I personally feel that the intention is the one that determines your pahala (rewards) and dosa (sins). Furthermore, when it comes to secular activities (I can't believe that I'm actually dichotomising secular from religious), it is best that we stick to the status quo. But of course, I beg to differ. =)

I can't possibly tell my camp coordinators: hey, from now on, no more 'touching' games, just to accommodate to my interest. I know that my cadets are largely Muslims but its me against the rest. It will never get through. But at least I tried. In fact, I feel indebted to my camp coordinators and my Chinese teacher, Mr Chua, for understanding my need (as well as some of my Muslim campers') to do our five daily prayers. There was a condition attached: provided it doesn't disrupt with the activities. People going missing during a camp is not a pleasant thing. In fact, we adhere to the condition because we know that it is the best option. And I am very grateful to have these understanding people around.

So back to the gender interaction bit. FOC is called a social camp (not that I am advocating touching games. In fact, I DON'T especially since NUSMS is one of the joint organiser), thus the objective must, to some extent, involve largely the act of socialising. It is ironical to have too much religious elements in the camp itself. These elements should be made subtle; after all, we are collaborating with another society whose aim is not solely religion-based. I feel that it is only fair if we strike a balance for both. But no touching aites?

And now, my project GoStong Royong. Hmm. Perhaps I shouldn't disclose too much on the activities that we are going to do. But trust me, it will strike a balance between outdoor adrenaline rush as well as the sedating effect of Islamic teachings, in line with NUSMS's mission, vision and motto. =). It's my project and I know what I want and how it turns out to be. Like duhh.

Alright, I've talked too much. Back to my Chemistry assignment. I must enjoy doing it. Otherwise, it will just be another pain. Haha. I love Chemistry! (sentence was typed out of desperation).

Ouh, and all the best for the upcoming exams. InsyaAllah we will all pull through with hard work, supplications and tawakkal (not before the exams!).

And with that, wabillahi taufiq wal hidayah, 'assalamu'alaikum wr wb.

Time is precious and it's slippin' away ...

2008-03-11T15:45:00.003+08:00

Salam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

My sincere apologies for not updating myblog for quite some time. My dormancy was largely due to my mid-terms and of course the paranoia I face when exams are in a few weeks' time. I'm beginning to mug, though not as effectively as I would when its a few days before the paper itself. But nevertheless, I'm mugging.

Assignments, lab reports, essays, presentations. Feeling stressed up? Might be ... Coupled with Stong and Pelita, I am definitely weighed down. But thankfully my modules this semester aren't as taxing. Hopefully I'll be able to pull up my CAPS nevertheless.

And it's not easy task to balance both my health and studies. I've been eating, snacking, munching, chewing, etc. And you will know of the outcome when your aunts see you and start to say that F-word. No, not that F but the other one: F-A-T. Hurhur. I am now. But I'm not alone. *sniggers*

So back to reality. What have happened these past few weeks. Elections in Malaysia: a paradigm shift? Or merely as a form of revenge of their dissatisfaction towards the government? But one thing that stands out the most is Nurul Izzah Anwar. Stepping into politics at such a young age is defnitely not easy, especially when you're a woman. She gets my salute. =)

Then you begin to question: how can a green horn oust her opponent who has excelled in her field for so long? I guess this can serve as a teaching point for all of us. Having years after years of experience does not necessarily mean that one he/she is at an advantage. Ulitimately, when it comes to team building, communication and undertanding is key. And of course how you portray yourself in front of others. No one will respect you if you don't earn it.

And I certainly disrespect BN and RTM1 for that matter: a few days prior to the election, had you watched RTM1, you would have noticed how low BN went to get their votes. Humiliating others is definitely NOT a political strategy but shows how desperate they were. And the recent campaigns like 'Ajar anak anda menggigit' in response to the kidnap-cum-murder cases is definitely an absurd move. Haven't they heard of AIDS? Who would have thought of such genius ideas? Hmmmm ... Lemme guess. Oh I know, I know! DEFINITELY NOT politicians.

I am not angry, but just amazed by how 'interesting' Malays can be. Oh well. I am half. But I definitely don't wish for my Malay ethnicity to be synonymous to negative traits such as laziness and backwardness. They're not true for all Malays. It's pointless to make my views stand if there are still Malays who are not willing to change, contented with whatever they have (now I'm beginning to contradict whatever I've stated in my last post, haha). It's a very sad sight.

Back in Singapore, NUS to be exact, I would like to touch on what I talked about last week. Norhafiz (yes, yes I am WITH him) and I were on bus 151 and decided to thank those who have contributed to the 151 Bus Forum. Not only are the buses more frequent now, they also lack the seats! I would definitely not want to travel from Trellis (in Toa Payoh) to NP/SIM (I can only get to sit when their students alight) standing, especially when I'm fasting (can still remember it vividly). I rather be in a non aircon bus then having to endure a long stand. I guess SBS wanted to shut these people up. I wonder what's going to happen next. I'm anticipating some form of backlash. Hee. Still waiting ...

Lastly, I would like to touch on the 'jaga tepi kain orang' trend amongst Malays in Singapore. In school itself, do not be shock if you encounter a hardcore gossiper. I won't be even if I encounter more than 100. After all, each and every one of us have to agree that we will all grow up to be pakciks and makciks one fine day, replacing all the makcik kaypos and pakcik kedai kopi. But I don't expect it to be so soon ...

It is wrong to criticise others, let alone talk negatively about a person without his/her knowledge. It is more sinful than zina as a matter of fact. So why do people still persist? What makes gossiping so appealing that we find it irresistable? And why is it we must know every single detail of everyone around us? Isn't it enough for one to be a good friend to just a handful few? Than to not be able to handle having too many friends?

The little things we do in life, if we were to compile them, are not so trivial after all. It's how you see the big picture. And determine, from there, how major (or minor) these rituals of ours impact our future. A Butterfly Effect? Perhaps ...

That's it from me. Need to clear my lab report by today. Hopefully its a fruitful attempt. One which will get me an A this time. InsyaAllah.

Wassalam.

Gratitude

2008-02-13T09:30:00.000+08:00

Salam 'Alaikum Wr Wb.

Yesh yesh, it's been awhile since I last posted an entry. Not that I was busy with anything in particular but I just didn't feel like blogging. Now that I am, sit back, relax and get shocked because I'm going to convert my blog into something more interesting. And I don't mean gossips. Sharing what's going on in my daily life makes me sound bimbo-tic and so I shan't. I will discuss on more constructive issues. However, my points are solely mine and I beg to differ.

First and foremost, I'd like to touch on the complaints on NUSSU's 151 Bus Service Forum.

Personally, I don't think it's necessary for me to contribute (despite the fact that I'm already a registered member at the for the forum out of my own will) because I don't feel dissatisfied with the bus service. I AM AFFECTED but I don't see why I should be complaining so openly. At most I will just grumble to myself or to a friend. However, it is just a short-term anger or impatience. I don't dwell on it.

Rather than complaining, I prefer to find other alternatives to go home than to whine like babies. Somehow I get this feeling (not buruk sangka) that those who are creating this big hoo-ha are freshmen. I know my cohort too well: full of people who lack gratitude for whatever commodities we have (even when they know that what we have now is up to 400% much better than it used to be). For once, sit down and think how life must have been like for NUS students back in the past, having to survive long bus journeys with NO Wi-Fi, NO Air-con, NO comfortable seats (you can even feel the hard base of the seats when the bus travels along a bumpy road) and definitely NO polite bus drivers! My dad dislikes people who alight from the bus at the very last minute. Back then, the bus driver would have just shut the door in people's faces and not entertain such aberrant behaviour. The drivers weren't afraid.

Which brings me to my next point: passengers abusing bus drivers. I've not experienced the 'abusing' bit but I have witnessed a passenger (definitely an NUS student) threatening a bus driver. He pressed the bell when the bus passes by the bus stop. Who's fault is it? And the guy threatened to send a complaint to SBS. This incident took place on service 151. When passengers are unhappy with the service, they blame the bus drivers. For goodness sakes! It is NOT the driver's fault that he has to travel slowly. He's just executing his job well, by adhering to their schedules as close as possible. It is YOU who should have left your house 10 minutes earlier and catch the earlier bus. Even if you're on time at the bus stop but the bus arrives 'late', then leave your house earlier! Otherwise, save up your own money and get yourself a cheap Honda Wave or Kia Picanto if you want to complain every little thing about the the bus system! Alternatively, we have the ever-efficient MRT which hardly breaks down.

People nowadays are not gracious. They want everything fast and good. I have to agree that I want the best services and goods possible but the chances are 50-50. You are not lucky all the time. Even when you are, you will always want better.

I understand that if we want something, we have to work hard for it. But doesn't that show how un-gracious we can get? Sikit-sikit nak complain, nak tukar ni lah, tu lah. Apa lagi nak tukar? Tukar diri sendiri boleh tak?!

For once, why can't we change ourselves? If the bus service can't be changed, then change yourself! Islam always encourages us Muslims to always change for the better. POSITIVE change. Self-improvement is key.

Honestly, I complain too but I don't think it's necessary for it to be heard. I don't like to influence others too. Everyone is entitled to his/her own set of thinking. There's no bus? Or the bus takes very long to reach its destination? Then go find another route. When there's a will, there's a way.

Continue ranting unnecessarily and you won't be heard. No one will listen to you. Grow up! Sheesh.

My point is, people nowadays lack graciousness. Never satisfied with the way things are. Unless the change is going to earn you a Nobel Prize or create a new revolution, don't bother changing it.

You may argue that I sound like a typical Malay, accepting things as they are and not wanting to change. That's where you're wrong. Atleast I don't blame every other persons (which is even more typical of not just Malays, but everyone!). I change myself and that is key to a happy life. Ultimately, it's you who decide your own fate, YOUR future.

I am happy with the way life is right now. Why? Because I dislike getting angry. An angry person is a Satan's best friend. At least I won't die early from getting myself stressed up incessantly over trivial matters.

As of now, I can't include Qur'anic verses nor Hadith nor quotes. This is my weakness. I intend to attend weekly Harfiyyah classes and hopefully I will be able to share with everyone whatever I've learnt. As of now, my religious knowledge is more inclined towards the tasawwuf aspect (still working on this). Hopefully I will be able to improve in all other aspects. AlhamduliLlah I have great friends who have taught me a thing or two about life and friends who are supportive of what I'm doing. And most definitely my family, especially mak.

That's it for today. My take-home message is: Be grateful with whatever you have in life. Changes are good but will it impede your well-being? That's a question for us to ponder ...

Wassalam.

School In, Vacations Out, Out, Out!

2008-01-14T19:42:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

As you can tell from the title of the post, I am excited that school has finally started. Couldn't wait really. Why? Firstly, I feel that my time spent STUDYING in school is more beneficial than shopping, or idling and eating for that matter. In other words, time is spent optimally. Other than that, it's the friends that I get to meet and and crap with that makes me happy.

I don't really like to shop because I will often be dissatisfied with my purchases. Lots of regrets. But when it comes to studying, I don't think I will ever regret doing so. The only regret I always have, however, is that I'm ALWAYS inconsistent with my revision. =). Wth.

School has been great. I like the modules that I have attended thus far. 2 more to attend tomorrow. School starts today. And suddenly, you realise its already time to click on the LOGIN button to check our results. That's how fast time seems to fly nowadays. It's traumatising. And the next thing I will discover, my friends will all be secondary school kids and backstabbing teacher colleagues. DEPRESSING, I know ... No more makcik friends. No more same-aged friends or Azhar (haha, he's 14 really). Oh my. Okay. Maybe I'm thinking too much. But sometimes you have to accept this fact that we're not young anymore. Oh dear.

I'll end my worries now. Going home soon and continue blogging later perhaps. Oh, and Na'im, congratulations on establishing your very first (personal) blog. =)

And with that, Wassalam ... =)

New Year. New Life?

2008-01-03T14:31:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

I'm still recovering from a shock: I didn't expect many people would come to read my blog. Amazingly they did. Not that my life is at all that interesting. And there's no political views for people to counter and debate on. Oh well ... Thank you anyway =).

Progress with Stong? Hmm. Naim and Yusri (through POW) came up with some interesting names. We've finally decided on one but I shan't disclose it to anyone for the time being. The name is cute, that's for sure. Everything is smooth sailing and I am happy that everyone in my team is highly dependable. I feel very fortunate to have them =).

Family life? Nothing much has happened really. Just the usual bickerings over trivial matters. And Mak is happy with the new bag I got her. AlhamduliLlah. And she's also cynical about me going out with him. =). Oh well. She's always like that. And yes, she knows that I go out with him. I want to be honest with my mum.

Personal life: apart from gaining 3 kilos (I'm soooo screwed), I'm happy. Newfound source of happiness? Perhaps. Shan't disclose too much on this also. Sorry. =). Miserable because I know that there will be more eating out (how I can go on a diet for the BBQ?) to do in the coming week. And I've not been exercising (haha!) but sit and watch Hindi movies like a couch potato. Hurhur. Piling on weight like nobody's business =)!

New Year's Eve was spent by the beach with Cik Nora and Auntie Noor's family. Pillioned Ana on my bike (hmm, finally some form of exercise) and consumed more than what was burned. Haha. Pizzas, donuts and the heavenly New Zealand's Natural! Ooh lala ... The Fruit Flo was super sour but rejuventating. It triggered my senses upon the first spoonful! Yummm .... Talking about bike, I will be doing Safety for Night Cycling. Managed to grab hold of Farhan and Nur Aishah for the event. Trying to hook my Secondary 4s tomorrow. It's their CCA Exhibition so yes, I will get the crowd I want.

Finally, I'm meeting my JC friends tml! Going-a-bowling at Safra Tampines. Can't wait! Can't wait!

Lastly, I know this comes kind of late, but do recite Suraatul Fatihah for the late Benazir Bhutto. As well as for our loved ones whom have left us.

And with that, Salam Alaikum Wr Wb. (I sound like an Ustazah now ...)

Sincerity

2007-12-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

Back home at last after spending the whole afternoon/evening/night out. Afternoon's 'meeting' was great, a good time for me to wind down. Thank you awak. I've never dated anyone who is as sincere as you. I felt that my presence was really being appreciated. Even waited for my evening NPCC meeting to end to send me home. A guy can just bring you out and pay for your stuffs, but how truly sincere are they? I think you really are. You are sweet too. =)

National Treasures was great. Just like its prequel, the movie is packed with humour (the Rilley guy, I have to admit, is kinda cute) and ofcourse adventure. I like puzzle-based movies such as this and Da Vinci Code. If only its an interactive movie which we have to attempt the puzzles ourselves in order for the next scene to occur (the subsequent scenes will vary according to how we solve the puzzles). Adik is watching Bring It On, and I can't sleep. Will be getting my own room real soon. This time it's for real. Can't wait. But I will miss the bickerings my sister and I have over who gets to use the room. I will enjoy every (of these last) moments of arguments with her before I completely move out.

NPCC is on the roll once again. New year means new beginning (remember nuovo inizio?) and I feel that I'm all excited for the upcoming year. I will be heading the Bukit Timah Hike in July and I'm already all tingling-excited. I feel that I want to get involved but there are just some restrictions (including the tudung) which makes me turn away from NPCC. Ultimately its my choice. If it is my interest, I should just pursue further. But one thing is for sure: I WILL NOT GO FOR THE HOBTC next year, not ever. This is my promise, just like I've promised I'll never get myself a pair of Levi's, although I already have 2 pairs at home (the irony). Okay. So what's going to happen between NPCC and myself in 2008? God knows. And only time will tell.

Alright, I'm sleepy. I didn't really get to sleep properly yesterday(not because I was overexcited over the date. REALLY). Need sleep real badly.

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb. Have a great weekend ahead =)

Paint My World - Pollen Yellow!

2007-12-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum to one and all.

How's your holidays? I know I'm having too many things to do, coupled with the sudden 'yok gi jalans' bapak surprises us with. This afternoon, I got paint for my room. It's yellow, with a tinge of orange. Looks interesting. Macam colour honey although the shade is called 'pollen'. Why yellow? Haha. Purple doesn't go with the wood furniture I have and the shades of green the guy had in his shop was too pale (TPJC green? NO WAY! Lime green please =)). I settled for the yellow. I want my room to look sweet and nice like honey. =)

I will get my room painted real soon. When? I have no idea. Meeting tomorrow and most probably on Friday too. Haiz. Saturday nope. Sunday might be going to Escape with DiRaUlLuHaRe. But it seems like everyone's busy. Haiz. And I'm not. Haha. Ouh. Another meeting on Monday with the Saff peeps, which clashes with my NCOs AGM. Oh dear. Both are equally important to me. And they both start at 10 am. Ouh dear. Still waiting for Ju's response if he can change the meeting to another day.

KL trip was great. Everyone fell sick thanks to Abang. Bapak was ecstatic to see Mat Rempits do the wheely in front of him. Adik, Abang and Kak Jiji went hysterical at Petaling Street, whereas I was choking and on the verge of collapsing thanks to the smoke from the vendors' cigarettes which further worsened my already sore throat. Macam nak mati la. And NEVER eat the Coney Dog at the A & W in Jalan Masjid India. It sucks. Really. Basically we gorged food that are not or rarely halal in Singapore such as Portuguese tarts, Auntie Anne's Pretzel dogs and Lecka Lecka deli-yummy nockies gelato! I'm all about food babe! Haha. Food and shopping is my life. I'm trying to make studying a part of it too. But it's not happening. Got myself books to read. I think books are the only stuffs worth buying there, apart from food. =)

Hmm. Dambaan Cinta is being played on the radio. Nice song. The guy is now in China holiday-ing with his family. And his Dad is all alone in Singapore. So much so my dad had to bring him out to bowl this morning. I couldn't follow because it was all guys. What kind of an excuse is that?? I miss bowling. Totally.

Results released today. AlhamduliLlah. But I can't be too sure if I should be too happy or too sad. But being the kiasu person I am, of course whatever I get will never be enough =). But InsyaAllah I will work harder. That's a promise.

Doing my overseas trip stuffs. AlhamduliLlah things are going smoothly. InsyaAllah this event will happen and will be a success. Can't wait. Can't wait!!

That's it for now. I feel like watching Hindi movies. Starring I don't know who. Haha.

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

Knock Knock Knock! NEA!

2007-12-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

Guess what, Mak just got warned by an NEA officer for indirectly breeding mosquitoes through the potted plants we were growing along our corridor.

We didn't want to open the door initially (neither Bapak nor Abang was at home, just us girls) so much so the guy had to shout like an Ah Long before Mak actually opened the door. Haha. I think everyone would be intimidated if an Ah Long-like knock comes a-knockin' on their doors. Sheesh. While I was in my telekong, I let Mak open the door. (Haha, nama aje dalam NPCC).

So ya, one of the pots were collecting water. No wonder we can experience mosquitoes even on the 12th floor!! See laa ... Who's fault is it huh? Heheh. No la, it's our fault. =)

I love MOZZIES ... =) NOT!

Okay. I have no idea why I've typed this post. Perhaps I'm just bored from editing minutes to this afternoon's MS EXCO meeting. Getting cock-eyed from staring at the monitor for too long ...

Salam alaikum ...

What The Heck Am I Doing?

2007-12-16T22:50:00.001+08:00

Salam Alaikum.

I know I'm suppose to design my own bloggie but I can hardly find the time to do so. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life during this holidays. Wasting it away? Perhaps ...

Heading to Golden Mile Centre tomorrow to get myself a pair of Birkenstock. I've decided not to get Papillio (since there is a cheaper yet original alternative). Got my pair of Alice Crocs. I'm happy with it. Still waiting for Bapak to change my 2-1/2 years old handphone. Hoping for a Nokia N95 =). It's kind of expensive I know, but I've not asked money from him for a very long time so I think it's kind of justified if I get myself a slightly more expensive phone. No? Whatever it is, I have to be patient. Not sure when i can get it tho'. =(

Piling on weights, as usual. Just had a buffet lunch at Downtown East. Didn't eat as much as I ususally would. The last thing I had was Beef Teppanyaki. Then headed to Mak Jai's house only to find myself couch-potatoeing. Watched thus Hindi movie Om somthing Om. Haha. Shah Rukh Khan. I kinda enjoyed it really. It was a fusion of comedy, romance, action as well as DANCE (very obvious ain't it?) making the movie very unique. Borrowed from her two other Hindi movie DVDs. Haha. Sarah's becoming a fanatic now ... (So unbecoming of me) And borrowed from Kak Jiji the DVD Wujud. It features 10 spots in Singapore which features all these supernatural stuffs. I will watch it tomorrow morning =) (Not that I'm afraid or anything ... Heheh)

Apart from that, I feel very occupied thanks to the NUMS project =). Atleast I'm optimising my free time.

That's all I can recall fo now. Hehh. Short-term laaa ...

Nights all. Love y'all.

Salam Alaikum (Peace Be Upon You) peeps! =)

Post-Exams Activities ...

2007-12-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaikum Wr Wb.

How's everyone been? My last paper ended last Monday. Went to book our chalet through the AXS machine. It will be from 7 to 9th January. Girls night out.

Talking about chalet, I'm suppose to be at Downtown East today. For the Secondary 2's barbecue-cum-chalet. But the BBQ was cancelled due to the heavy rain. Thank goodness! I just had the biggest Whopper in my entire life. For the first time ever, I had the whole burger to myself. Hmm. Mak had a bite of it. But I still ate quite alot!!

Just came back from EXPO's John Little Sale. Should have called it Esprit sale. Cos I bought nothing else but Esprit's apparels. Nothing else was that appealing. Even the lingeries were quite expensive. It used to be half the price they are selling now. That was earlier this year. I don't think the GST hike can raise the price of a bra to such extent. Urgh. Even a basic necessity is so expensive to own. And I'm not referring to Sloggis and 'above'.

Splurged on t-shirts, the kind which won't wrinkle so easily so that I can bring those to KL without having to worry of crumpling them. I really should go the the Esprit Outlet at IMM. I must .... MUST! The other thing I've been wanting to buy is a pair of the Alice Crocs. Its so sweet! I just hope that the normal range is sold in Singapore too. I don't quite like the idea of wearing a suede croc shoes. Don't ask me why. And let's keep our fingers crossed that the shoes are not more than 60 buckaroos. The Suede Alice costs $65.

There's just so much to do this holidays. It's only one month yet I have too many things inside my head. The most important thing to do is to get my room ready before school reopens. There's still no door. And everything is only a plan. Not even sure if they are going to happen. Haizz. Janji Melayu ...

Was relaxing by the poolside with the Makcik Penguins (they called themselves that) and was serving their kids food. Most of them were boys. I felt like I was their mother. So the makiciks started to call me dayang. Cos I was tending to the kids and taking care of the place while they were leisurely swimming in the pool, sauna-ed and jacuzzi-ed. I should have just brought my swimwear (not that I have any) and sit in the jacuzzi the whole day. And also burn a pound of fats or two in the sauna. Oh well. At least I had a great time reading my book and do some of the project proposals for the project I will be undertaking next year. Potluck session with them next Thursday followed by a movie. Cool right. I never thought makciks nowadays will be that modern and cool.

And guess what? I'll be tutoring their kids and in return, they will teach me how to make all the yummy blueberry cheesetarts, tantalising brownies and pesto sauce! Ooooh lalaaaaa ....

WIth all these happy moments, you might be asking how was my exams. Haha. I don't intend to talk about my exams. I'm just hoping that I won't have to retake any module. Especially Molecular Gen. Looking forward! Not letting my past stop me from moving on. Optimism is key to success.

Alright. That's it for now. Need to go to the kitchen. And bathe. Was freezing from the rain laaaa. It was super bad. Even my whopper turned cold by the time I reached home, and its not due to the cold barley drink.

Whatever it is, I wish everyone Happy Holidays. Hope that your holiday will be a fruitful one. Cheers! =)

Salam alaik wr wb. Peace!

can you feel the exams heat?

2007-11-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaik Wr Wb.

This might be the last post before my exams. I'm beginning to feel scared. Exams are just around the corner. No time to fool around. Haizz. I still have many things to worry about. Abang's tunang , my room and many other stuffs. Actually that's basically it. I'm going to start tomorrow. I MUST. I'm reverting to my A Levels regime. Sleep early, wake up at 6, solat and read Qur'an. Exercise then bathe, and by 8 am, to be already at my table studying. With a HEALTHY breakfast on my table. And I really mean healthy. No more gassy/caffeinated drinks and Maggi and ofcourse junk food. Today will be the last time I will eat junk food too. Had BK. Yummm .... No fried food. Yupp. I will hold on to this promise. InsyaAllah akan berjaya.

Call me crazy but this instills discipline. And I religiously adhered to this routine for almost 2 months back then. And I lost 6-7kg in total. I've already gained 2kg. And I don't feel good. I shall sleep early today. Latest sleep at 10.30PM. No more 11PM. Haizzzzz ...

I've even lost the desire to shop. I wasn't really turned on by the stuffs I saw at TM just now. I window-shopped half-heartedly. Bought a new mouse. I left the one I got for free under the table after lecture. Within 15 mins, the thing was already gone. Shrugs. Haizz. And today was my uneventful day. Jihan's too. So we've decided to commemorate this day by trying to make our 1st Novembers a better one each year. InsyaAllah.

I'll be going to KL with my mum's gang. 3 families in total. Kak Jiji is tagging along. Yayy. We'll be leaving Singapore on the night of Hari Raya Haji. I'm so gonna shop when I'm there. Suggested the idea of backpack travelling to the LS girls and they seemed keen. I'm up for it, anytime. Money wise, InsyaAllah I can manage.

Alright la. That's it for now. Won't be hearing from me for quite some time. Till then. Tcare!

Salam alaik wr wb.

Diamonds are Forever

2007-10-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb (Peace Be Upon You).

You guys must have been wondering what happened between me and that person whom I said was giving me the cold shoulders, right? It's nothing really. As usual, it was just me being paranoid. Shrugs. Haha. I've actually prepared a list of things I want to share with everyone in this post. Hmm. Problem is, I lost the list. Haha. Crap.

We shall start with the Chemistry test this morning. Bad. Simply because I didn't do much practice, which I could have done. I'm vey worried when I hear people already starting revisions for the exams. VERY. I shall start as soon I'm done with my projects.

Woke up darn early this morning to mug. I was trying to study yesterday but my neighbours came to visit. Okayyy. So the cute little girl simply had to divert my attention away from my book. She took the green Mammut stool and sat beside me (the disadvantage of having my study table in the family room). She stared at me, blinking her eyes trying to get my attention. Its hard not to resist her cuteness. She reminds you of Snow White really: fair with jet black hair. She was adorable!! So she talked about her pet tortoise and about how she 'born' a baby which was as tiny as my thumb (small kids and their peculiar imagination, haiz). Then she asked me for a blank paper to draw not a cat, not a tortoise but a monster. No comments. I guess I was like that too then. Haha. And everytime my eyes turned to the book, she will come up to me and say something. Another futile attempt to study. Clap, clap.

After the test, we headed to the forum because there was a sale. Nothing great really. The stuffs weren't that 'wow' for me. Headed down to Geylang to get Kak Jiji's engagement ring. It was nice!! I would have gotten that for myself had it not been for the price. And yes, I intend to get a ring for myself. Its a good way to remind myself that money doesn't come easy. Splurging on a ring is not easy either. I AM SO HARD TO PLEASE! I didn't buy anything because I couldn't find 'the perfect one'. My ideal ring is one with a shiny not-too-thick-but-not-too-thin band and a single diamond encrusted in the center. Its a typical ring, I know but Meyson didn't have anything that fits the bill (especially the cost). I will drop by SK soon. And Izzati will help me pick. Trust me, I'm am very fussy about the things I own. Especially when it costs me a bomb. Duhh!

I was the engagement planner anyway. Anyone who knows me too well also knows that I am very fussy and very meticulous when doing my work (ironically, except for studies). Everything must be in tip-top condition and look presentable. So I selected the colour ivory for the whole hantaran setup. Haha. Thankfully Bapak, Mak and Kak Jiji liked the colour. AlhamduliLlah. Ultimately its not about what I like, but what OTHER people like. Only I know how to please myself I guess.

I'm feeling kind of groggy at the moment. Will be going for training tomorrow. Yayy! I miss my hunks and babe. Sharul is having his TP tomorrow. Jia yo! This time, Luqman and Hakim will wear mini-skirts and cheer him on with pom-poms by the parking lot! Heee. Then off for the weekly post-training makan-cum-meeting session. I miss spending time with them. I do! And I was touched when Luqman and Hakim and Di said that they were looking forward to see me this Friday. I miss you guys too. You don't know how much I'm missing you guys! =)

Lecture on First Aid tomorrow. It's been awhile since I have been dormant. Haiz. Now that I'm active again .... Anyway, I've already told Mr Chua that I will be stepping down from the unit in June next year, together with my beloved Secondary 3s (ya right ...). 4 years of service and I think I shall stop here. I need time for myself and school. Why can't I try to be perfect when it comes to studies? I mean, I will always try to be perfect for everything else but why not for school? Weird huh.

I shall ponder about this for tonight. Not that I have the energy to think. Haha. Pineapple rice, here I come! Can drool over the food man! Mentang-mentang dah tak puasa lagiiii ...

That's it for now. Salam alaik wr wb!

oversensitive me

2007-10-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

Yes, this is my second post for the night. Spent the last two hours pondering about what I told Izzati the day before.

I find it a great responsibility to have many friends. And when you have too many friends, it becomes a burden. That was one of the few reasons why I didn't mix around much in TPJC apart from the funky people of S05, Damai ex-classmates and the GPA cast members. Some people thought I was arrogant and snobbish: that was the first impression most people had of me. I felt sad but I guess it was a blessing in disguise. It was HARD to have too many friends from what I observe of my friends.

Now in NUS, I'm already in their shoes. I am actually limiting myself from mingling around too much. Some guys may think that I'm arrogant because I don't talk to them. Heyy, don't get me wrong. I hardly talk with people whom I hardly know. That's for sure. But what ever it is, talk to me and I will definitely say something in reply.

But like what I've told Izzati, I don't like to have too many friends because I'm afraid I can't take care of their feelings (jaga hati). It's just so hard when there's just so many nice people in NUS whom you can get along well with. Haizz.

And just today I felt that I was given the cold shoulders by this someone. Its either he/she is being intentionally OR unintentionally insenstive OR its just me being plain oversensitive. Talked to Jihan about it and she said that it was me being paranoid and oversensitive. Haizz. Talked to my mum about it. She understands me most. And she's just hoping that I don't make enemies in school. I hope so too.

Anyway, Mak's custard puff was a hit. It was the first to finish. AlhamduliLlah. Can help her to promote. Yupp. Hee.

Oh, and one last thing: is it me imagining it or did I see kissing scenes on RTM1? They were playing My Heart and I was utterly shocked when I saw that. Not once, not twice but thrice! AstaghafiruLlahal'Azhim. And I wasn't moved by the movie AT ALL when I heard that I'm suppose to. Sheesh. I think I'm the insensitive one now. Haha. Hearltess and cold, I know.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? I think I'm being overly paranoid. Urgh! Sucks la.

I think I need some sleep to straighten out my thinking. Must have been the fever that's evoking all these negative emotions.

Salam alaik wr wb. Sleep early, get enough rest and you'll feel as though you're on top of the world the moment ou wake up. Fit as a fiddle. And I need to discipline myself in terms of diet and exercise. I'm soooo going to gain weight if I don't do anything about it.

Nights.

Salam Eid Mubarak

2007-10-19T22:46:00.001+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

It has been awhile I know. Just came back from Syawal Gathering in school. Was sniffling and blowing my nose almost every other time. AlhamduliLlah the fever has subsided in the afternoon. Took a cab and headed down for PGP. The whole event was fine. Of course being the meticulous person I always am, I will feedback to Nurul of my opinions and suggestions. Yuppp.

Took a group photo. Can't wait for them to be up!! And thank you Diyanah for the lift. Appreciate it alot! =)

Watching My Heart on RTM1 now. Sappy I know. But I've never watched it before so give me chance laaa ...

Finished my lab reports today. Finally a short break before I start on my projects. I'm so screwed. We've not even started on our poster. Fortunately my webbie is on the way.

Test next week. Think I'm going to screw my papers big time. Haizz.

That's it for now. The sickness is recurring. Oh dear ...

Salam alaik wr wb. Tcare !! =) Oh. Yes ... SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!

I sincerely seek for forgiveness if I have wronged anyone be it intentionally or unintentionally.

Nights ...

the curse of the flawless-face compliment

2007-10-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaik Wr Wb.

Been busy the past few days. Mugging for two tests next week and at the same time trying to juggle with ibadah. It's tough I have to admit. Haizz. Life's like that. It's how you are able to handle both simultaneously. InsyaAllah I will pull through.

Stress has resulted in pimples. 4 of them to be exact. And the latest one is definitely not a pleasant thing to look at. I guess I have been neglecting my diet, exercise and facial routine. Did some light yoga this morning and completed my Chemistry tutorial. Was almost late for lecture thanks to my pale yellow shirt, which had white stains (from the improper rinsing of detergent) that were prominent. Being the fashion-conscious person I often am, I've decided to change to something else. Problem is, I had no other choice but the same shade of yellow tudung. Fortunately my blouse was not wrinkled. Managed to iron my pants and within 20 minutes, I was out of the house. Learnt my lesson. The MRT ride to school was physically taxing on me. By the time we had Biochem lecture, I was almost knocked out. Haizz. And the pimples made me feel even worse. Haizzz.

I'm finally on my strict diet andexercise regime once again. The no-more-food-after-seven-PM rule will apply after Ramadan if God willing. Call me paranoid but I feel unhealthy if I don't eat proper and exercise inadequately.

That's it for today. Having morning lecture tomorrow. Have yet ironed my clothes for tomorrow. Will do so in the morning I guess.

Salam alaik Wr Wb. Good luck for your mid-term peeple! =)

Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Cry.

2007-10-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr wb.

I've just performed my Terawih and finally it's time for me to get a good night's sleep. Reached school at 7.30 am only to find the LT empty and reached home at 11 pm. That's 16 hours out from home. School would be painful had it not been for great people such as Khairia and Izzati and Hilya. And today, Hisyam. Haha. Great people, great friends.

Crashed Gad's stats lecture after being disappointed by the cancellation of the lecture (was it?) for gems at 8 am (I could've come at 10 laaa). Hijrah-ed over to LT 27 for Chem from LT 32. Sat next to Hilya during lecture to find that someone ... I won't pursue further. You know who you are and what you did. Haha. Now this makes me feel even more miserable. Haizz. Don't ask me why.

Went to the library during our common break period and 'tried to' study. Managed to complete another chapter. AlhamduliLlah. Played around with our shoes for a while (with Izzati and Amirah) and went to do our prayers.

Lab was great. Manageable and I like it alot. Except for the part when I totally forgot about Jihan's lab report. AlhamduliLlah I managed to submit it on time even though the deadline was overdue by 3 hours. Shruggs. Why do they call it a deadline in the first place again?

Buka-ed with Khairia, Izzati and Shafira at Megabites and ate like Datins. Had carbonara (which tasted as though they added coconut milk) and grape juice. Was tempted to get a dessert but decided to do away with the extra, extra calories. Left only at about 8.30 pm. By then, Mak and Bapak would have been halfway through their terawih prayers. They were at Nenek's place anyway. Watching Hikmah when Mak called me.

Bus ride today was fun, although I was reprimanded by Mak for taking bus service 10 when I know that it will take me forever to reach home (I didn't expect the bus journey to take up 2 hours of my life laa, based on Jihan's experiences). So it did. Took the bus at 8.55 pm and reached home only at 10.50 pm. Melampau I know. I missed the bus service 5's bustop outside CGH all because our (Izzati and I) seat was soooo strategically located, far away from the bell. Then had to wait for the darn bus. But the view throughout the journey, especially through Shenton Way and Esplanade, made up for the long bus journey. It was breathtaking. I wouldn't mind taking it again. But not anytime soon I guess.

But what's most interesting today was the fact that we saw many different people on the top deck of the double decker bus. Izzati was interested in the species behind us, who seemed to be making out throughout their whole bus journey from Vivo to somewhere in Bedok. So much so Izzati had to shift twice to avoid looking at them. Take that! And in front of us was another couple who were cuddling up manja-ly, which gave us all the more reason to shift to the other aisle. Our view was restricted to the window beside me because everywhere else it was inappropriate to look at (We didn't want to be impolite by staring at them. But come to think about it, perhaps we should!). And then came the mats who were playing their jiwang songs so loudly on their handphones that I almost wanted to scream at them had they not played this very nice song (the song on Qaseh's ad).

Hasan's kuih bahulu is still with me. Sorry bro. Will pass it to you real soon.

That's it for today. I'm feeling sleepy. Thank goodness school starts at 4pm tomorrow. Can sleep in, perhaps till about 10. Yupp. Buka-ing in school again tomorrow. Haizz.

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

PS> I'm going to change my blogskin because I saw someone else using the same skin. I'm paranoid you see. I don't like to be seen owning the same stuff(s) as anyone else unless its from places such as Esprit (my pencil case, same as Jihan's) or Topshop. Yupp. But still, I will always try to make things look unique. Haha. Whatever la eah Sarah ...

Crestfallen

2007-09-30T22:56:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Yes, I am sad today. Nenek has finally moved out. Its true when people say you'll never a treasure a person more until he/she is gone. I miss Nenek already. Even though she now stays a few blocks away from mine. I still miss her ordering me to do stuffs. You can't blame her. She can't walk without her tongkat. I miss making her daily cup of milk and roti peanut butter. I miss talking to her and sit and watch sappy Malay drama series with her. I miss her. Period.

I promised her that I will visit her this Tuesday. Hopefully nothing crops up.

When I asked her why she's sad: she said that she will feel lonely because no one will be around until late in the evening when my Aunt returns from work. I sympathise with her. How I wish I can do something to ease her boredom. She likes to talk to people. You can't blame her. At a ripe old age of eighty-something, one can only be bothered to sit and watch the world go by, not wanting to think of things that are not relevant to them. But for Nenek, its otherwise. She prefers to worry about things than not worry at all. Even though she's moved into her nice, new home, she looked worried and stressed up. I talked to her and tried to make her forget about the whole 'lonely' issue. Sadly, it was another futile attempt. She still looked stressed up. InsyaAllah she will get over this soon enough. I will pray for her well-being. Her new house is superb anyway! I think Chew Interior has done a great job. I liked it alot.

Time to renovate my room. Can't be bothered really. My engine started only this morning. Wasted my one week by idling and baking and sleeping. But I won't regret it. Why? For me, if I'm not in the mood to study, I really can't study. Its futile for me to take out my book and start reading. Pointless. Anyway, I'm beginning to love Genetics and Biochem. I think I'm going to loveeeee my LSM modules alot3. InsyaAllah this passion (not merely an infatuation) will stay with me till I end my career as a teacher. Bio teacher. Yupp =)

That's it from me today. Feeling sleepy after adding too much of the 'sleepeasy' aromatherapy oil into the machine. It's right beside me now. Haha. No wonder. In 3 minutes, I will get totally K.O.ed by the scent.

Too-da-loo. Salam alaik Wr Wb. Don't forget to wash your feet before going to sleep. And sweet dreams ...

Gratitude

2007-09-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

I've got myself a new tilam! Like finally! Used my hard-earned tuition fees to pay for it. Money well-spent I shall say. I'm one happy lass. Bye bye back aches, helloooooo sweeter dreams!

AlhamduliLlah that I have a mattress to lie on every night. How fortunate, especially when there are some who sleep on the cold, hard floor. Some without a ceiling nor walls to protect themselves from the harsh, cruel weather outside. Sometimes you just feel like reaching out to them, to help them. But at the same time, what can you do. The one help we can give is through du'as to Allah swt. InsyaAllah their future will be just as bright as ours.

Just a short one today. Salam alaik wr wb.

The Beneficient

2007-09-26T22:26:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

How was your day dear sahabats? I'm very delighted to hear that people actually read my blog entries. Not that it's at all interesting. For today's post, there's a few things which I would like to raise. First, on life. Second, on MS. Third, on Baking (in response to Farhanah Sultan's request). Lastly, on Mats and Minahs (in response to Mar's mail on PBM's Yahoo Group).

Alhamdulillah today's EXCO Training session was one which didn't feel like 'training' at all. It was a short sharing session followed by reading of the Holy Qur'an. The sharing session made me feel closer to the people there. They are my newfound Usrah (family). I love to be a part of many families. It is them who are always there for you all the time. I love my biological family, my NPCC family (both fellow instructors/officers and cadets alike) and my sisters (Tom and Kiah and Aina and of course the one and only DI!). And now, my new MS family. You'll only appreciate their presence only when you're lonely. Ever since the 'incident' a few months ago, life has been smooth sailing (figuratively) and I feel liberated. I have more time for myself and the people who truly love me. They are my pillar of strength and faith. And all this is not possible had it not been for Allah swt. Everything is fate. I LOVE ALLAH SWT for the people that I have been given.

In life, God provides you with the people you need. And not the ones that you want.

Secondly, MS has been a great learning experience for me thus far. I'm beginning to truly enjoy the people and the things that I have been given the amanah to carry out. Basically that's it. Because they are already part of my life (in point 1). Hee. Perhaps when I visited Uncle Nordin's death ceremonial procession yesterday, it was an eye-opener and definitely a reminder that we can go anytime. Anytime. And that we may not necessarily live to a ripe old age of eighty like the arwah. Life is full of what ifs. That's all I can say.

For the benefit of those who didn't realise, the moon tonight is amazingly beautiful. SubhanAllah. Today marks the start of the 15th day of the Holy month of Ramadan. I know I have not optimised the first half of the month. I'm very disappointed in myself. Truly. I wish I could have done more. How have your Ramadan been thus far? I will pray that each everyone of us will receive the utmost benefits in this holy month of Ramadan al Mubarak. Ameen. Anyway, this was what I managed to snap from my window (please excuse the blurness of my dying 3.2 megapix digicam):

Beautiful ain't it? Thank you Allah for all the pleasant things in life. AlhamduliLlah.

Alright. Next. To answer Farhanah's question on 'Where I get all my pepperonis and turkey ham slices?'

A: It can be obtained from the supermarket in the old Mustafa centre (the inner building), 2nd floor. That place is another blessing. AlhamduliLlah. There's a whole range of pre-packed turkey ham and meatloaf by two different companies, namely ZAC's meat and Master Butchery. Get the latter's products. Master sells their meat cheaper and with longer shelf life. Also, grab the herbsand spices they sell there, such as the tandoori spice mix. Such spices can only be bought there and not from your typical supermarket. For mozzarella cheese, however, please go to NTUC (not all outlets have this) to get a big pack of halal certified (it's not very easy to get cheese with halal certs nowadays) cheese really cheap!

PS> I can' wait for an MS Bake Fair!

Here're the pizzas I baked last week. Didn't take a picture of the Hawaiian I made last Monday though. Sowie ...

Seafood Supreme

Beef Pepperoni

My Favourite: Tandoori Chicken

Apologies I cannot touch on the last point on Mats and Minahs today. My lappy's battery is running flat. Yupp. Another time okays?

That's it for now. Salam alaik Wr Wb.

A Fruitful Day

2007-09-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Recess week! Yayy-ness. I've never optimised my day as much as I ever had in my entire life. Heee =).

I've stretched my first muscle in months this morning. I like! Did yoga this morning only to learn that I have actually dislocated my pelvic bone from sitting too much. I couldn't even reach my toes. Haizz. I'm going to religiously do the Cobbler and Pigeon poses every morning. That I must do!

Went to IKEA thereafter. Had the time of my life splurging my money on my new room. New bedspread, storage boxes, quilt and many more. Hehhh. Off to buy my mattress tomorrow. Need it to replace my thinning mattress, which should have been replaced 3 years ago! Haha. Now that I have the means to get a new one, I feel very happy. Uhuh. AlhamduliLlah the money from tutoring those girls have paid off. InsyaAllah they will do well for their O Levels.

Cleaned up my room to prepare my furnitures for the shift to the next room, hopefully by this weekend. I plan to paint my room pastel green. Or pastel pink. Definitely not both. Yupp. Threw away most of my notes and old clothings from my room. I feel happy now that my room is more spacious (I don't mean Adek's share of the room). Will get a ceiling fan fixed up too before Hari Raya. Yayy.

Baked pizzas after cleaning. Did Hawaiian, Seafood and Pepperoni Mushroom. Yumm. AlhamduliLlah the food turned out well. I had 5 slices. Ooops. They're kind of small you see, the slices (ya Sarah, whatever la eah. Can't accept the fact that you are gaining weight already ehh?). Can't wait for the Bake Fair. Mak will make her custard puffs and I will prepare something else but muffins. Haha. Cos Gad wants to bake those. Haizz. Brownies anyone?

Helped Abang made up his mind on whether to remove the Big Box from the bootie of his new CB 400, Spec III. Haha. Funny that Sarah knows the model, considering she know nuts about motorbikes. Thought the box looked weird for a young person like him. His friends thought so too. Not Kak Jiji though. She likes to stuff many, many stuffs into the box. Haha. But thanks to his indecisiveness, Mak had a conflict with Bapak. Real drama. Haiz. Eventually, the box will remain till another day. It's not worth seeing your parents fight over the box. No? I like the bike anyway. Big and nice. Solidd! And he cannot squeeze in between cars in a gridlock. Ameen! Can't wait to ride pillion soon. A much safer bike ride home from now on.

I love recess week already. Have you?

That's it for now. Wanna watch the melodramatic characters in Hikmah. Just to kill time ...

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Pretty Ugly ...

2007-09-23T16:22:00.001+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Just reached home from Geylang. Yes, Geylang and not IKEA. Thought it made more sense to shop for my second baju rather than squander my money on household items. Now that I have discovered that going to Geylang was a big mistake, I thought that IKEA would have been the more beneficial option. Yupp. Hrmmph.

Geylang is such an ugly place. I don't mean the environment nor the facade. Its the people that made me see the ugly side of life. People spitting on the floor indiscriminately and nonchalantly. People jaywalking as if the road belongs to them despite the fact that TP frequenting the area. Cars turning left illegally at the junction when there was a filter lane. And the driver even honked at me! The green man's light was on and he dared honk at me?? I was snapping at the driver when this guy saw me and that made me realise that I was just being immature. That's why I say: Geylang brings out my ugly side. I will never go there until Ramadan is over (except for the To Fast, Too Furious event perhaps). And with the fact that it is the Autumn Equinox today, I am not surprised if anyone can actually burst into anger when provoked by such behaviour. And I cannot tolerate the guy's impatience.

Oh well, just when I thought life would be all beautiful, things turn out otherwise. Sad.

That's it from me now. Need to recuperate from the heat and anger.

Oh, yes. Happy Autumn Equinox guys! Supernyonya loves all! Peace! =)

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Life is Beautiful - Love, Me ...

2007-09-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

Finding it weird that I'm actually awake at this hour? Don't worry. I had too much sleep this morning. Left Tentera Mosque at 7 and reached home 45 minutes later. Took cab with Ana and Izzati. Yes, I was at the NUSMS Iftar and stayed through for the Qiyamulail. The whole experience was great despite the lack of sleep. I was flattered when someone commented how 'fresh' I looked this morning despite wearing 'baju semalam'. Deep inside I knew I was half awake. Took revenge as soon as I reached home. Managed to sleep through from 8 am till 3 pm. Atleast I did something purposeful after that as a form of redemption. Hehh. I've managed to complete my Lab Report for Genetics (heee, still a teeny weeny beeeeet of editing to do left actually ...) and submit it tomorrow. Bothered people by uploading files on the NUSMS Yahoo Group as well as DynaMSm's. Did my online sourcing for IKEA stuffs to buy tomorrow. Yupp! I'm going with Tom and hopefully Kiah too. Nenek is moving out next Saturday and it would be good if I'm able to prepare the stuffs and straightaway renovate my room since it is RECESS week this week. Haha. As if its all recess.

The cab ride home this morning was one that I will remember as one of the more memorable mornings I've ever had. You know how calming it is to travel along the ECP (through the Marina Bay area). But this time, I witnessed the sunrise and could only think of how beautiful life truly is. Someday I would like to experience it all over again, probably with THE loved one.

Just two nights ago I felt the misery of being single. My dearest cabbers received phone calls from their loved ones and I received none. Fortunately the beautiful view through the cab's window put my mind off from feeling miserable. Shruggs. Life is never fair. But sometimes being patient pays off. InsyaAllah. Someday it will be my turn. Not now. I respect my fate. Whatever that is happening to me now, happens because Allah swt loves me. And I love Allah for that.

Iftar. Qiyam. Terawih. Terms that you can often relate to in the holy month of Ramadan. To be frank, yesterday was the first time I attended an Iftar and also Qiyamulail (Perhaps when Izzati sang Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' during sahur this morning, she did make sense but not in a sexual context). Terawih is considered new. Yesterday was the first time I've done terawih outside the comfort of my own home. Everything was a great experience for me. MS has opened my eyes and mind to Islam and I am very grateful for that. AlhamduliLlah.

Sometimes I tend to question myself if life is merely a dream for me. At the moment, I am enjoying every moment, every air I breathe. I've never felt so calm and relaxed in my entire life, despite the hefty workload and copious number of tests. I seek solace in the long bus rides to and from school. Every travelling opportunity spells idling. I will think of nothing but enjoy the view and how beautiful life can get.

Infatuation makes me even more optimistic about life. Infatuation need not necessarily be for someone, but also stuffs one adores. Though short-lived, it still allows me to taste the sweetness of life.

With that, Assalamu'alaikum Wr Wb.

Going Cultural! Pizzas Galore (Mamma Mia)!

2007-09-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Day 5 of Ramadhan and I can't wait for more! I'm truly enjoying it. I feel so carefree (I'm supposed to mug for my GEMS now actually) and life feels great. Don't ask me why. Maybe because Satan has been and will remain gagged until Syawal. Perhaps ...

I wore baju kurung to school today, only to find 2 others to wear it. It should have been ALL. Haiz. It's okay. No biggie. There's always other days. Sent home by Hilya's dad, in their new Chevrolet Optra, which is quite spacious for such a small car. I'll check it out. I want to hint bapak to get me a toyota vios. Heeeee =)) I'm making pizza for buka today. Planning to make 4 regular pizzas: Tandoori chicken, Pepperoni, Seafood and Hawaiian. Yayy-ness. And also Bandung Cendol. Sounds tantalising. Making my tummy rumble mumble. Haizz.

Finally staying at home after shopping for the past two days. My Saturday afternoon was spent at Geylang, hunting for my baju raya. Sunday was at Mustafa Centre. Jihan said I've gone cultural. And wearing baju kurung today says it all. Haha.

Geylang is kecoh, as usual. Got myself 1 suit for hair raya and 2 others for just formal wear. Will be getting one more baju real soon I guess. Going to squander my tuition money from the looks of it. Hee =)

At Little India, it was kecoh-ness too! Singtel, M1 and Starhub had booths almost everywhere to promote their '11 cents per minute calls to Bangladesh' promotion. While waiting for my bus, Bapak and I sought entertainment from the roadshow across the bus stop.

So the emcee lady asked the Bangladeshi guy for his name. And then asked him if he sends money back to Bangladesh every month (it was in English anyway, that's why I understood). The next question: "Then do you send money back to Philippines every month?"

Haha. Basket-ness. Poor bloke. All he wanted was to spin the Spin-and-Win wheel (each booth has atleast one of those, even my head went spinning) so that he can win something, perhaps a prepaid card or two to call his family back in Bangladesh. I love Little India. I love it alot!

That's it for now. Need to go off for a siesta. Before Mak and I create a fiesta for buka later.

Salam alaik wr wb. Happy fasting =)!

ramadhan - celebrating friendship

2007-09-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

Greetings to one and all. How has Ramadhan been so far? I hope everyone's doing fine.

As for myself, I feel that Ramadhan, thus far, has been a blessing for me. I've learnt the true meaning of friendship and family bondedness from the past 2 days. InsyaAllah the 3rd and coming days will be just as meaningful.

Just yesterday I received a message from Huzaifah and today I bumped into him at the busstop. Didn't have the time to really talk. Had to rush home to help Mak prepare the break fast meal. I was from NPCC training. And today's training was definitely a wonderful experience.

The last I saw them was 3 weeks ago, when the unit was undergoing a 'revolution'. Today, I can say that they have improved. They were more organised and team spirit was present. Apart from that, I managed to talk to the casualties about my academic life. I had to do so to spur their interest in pursuing further in their studies. The school's standard is in a dire state. It's real bad. Thus I hope that my encouragement will be able to help them see the importance of having higher education. I feel happy sharing my experiences, especially about my C5 English and GP grades. They were shocked but at the same time feel motivated because ... if I can do it, so can they! I have faith in them. InsyaAllah.

Also, the best moment is actually being able to meet up the favourite four. Di Ul Lu Ha. The Hahahakim therapy was one that made me forget about my worries. Being with them is synonymous to Hakuna Matata. No worries at all! I felt happy and free. Yupp. That's life. They're always there for me. I love them to bits.

In school today, sat down with Izzati and Huda, along with their friends (which later included Jasmine Tye, the Idols finalist). Initially it was about Izzati's sky blue baju kurung (I think she's looking sweeter day by day) and then it went to the MAC/Clinique Cosmetics bazaar they had at Arts (Darn! I missed it! Actually I didn't even know about it la! =)) Next, it was about our LSM Malay guys. Izzati insisted they're good-looking. But Huda and I thought otherwise. No offence guys ... So she mentioned about the better looking babes and hunks being the ones left on the shelf (still single). And I thought: Really meh? Haha. My whole Dongster cliques + Jihan falls in that category. Not that I'm better looking. Haha. But I guess that's life.

And finally, shared with my best buddy Tom (yes, yes the botak police NS boy) a secret. Haha. I know I'm full of crap. Wana know the secret?? Yupp. And I appreciate his presence. He was always there for me through thick and thin. Along with Kiah. I miss them both. Alot.

I've never treasured my friends more in my entire life. I feel very fortunate that I have such great people around. InsyaAllah our friendship will last for eternity.

With that, Assalamualaikum WarahmatuLlahi Wabarakatuhu.

The Great Transition: When Foodies step into Ramadhan

2007-09-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum Wr Wb.

How's life been my dear friends? Hope everything's going smooth, as intended. Counting down to Ramadhan and its only a few hours away. In a few hours' time, Satan will all be chained. And from that moment on, we will know whether our sins are committed intentionally by us, or purely the work of Satan.

Looking back at the past year, life has been quite a deal for me. A Levels, new school, NPCC. Everything seems to be going well for me, AlhamduliLlah. And hopefully it will stay that way.

Two nights ago, Maryam and I took cab back home from the Pre-Ramadhan talk event. The driver, whom I initially thought was an obnoxious man, turned out to be a pessimist. Haha.

Maryam said that life is like a box of chocolates. The driver interrupted and insisted that life is like an ignited candle, which the flames can be blown off any time. So I added on to his analogy.

It's either you run out of wax or the flame extinguishes.

Okay. You must be wondering why we suddenly talked about such stuffs at 10 pm, with a total stranger.

We were talking about the ever increasing accident rates we have been observing in the past few days. Thus far, I got to know about 5 deaths from road accidents. When I told Cik Leha about it, she said that this is very common. When Ramadhan draws near, there is often this sudden surge in the number of deaths. I've never heard of such trends before but I guess it has to be true.

So when I told Jihan and Khairia about the taxi driver's analogy on life, they actually commented on how pessimistic the driver was being. Oh well. Views and analogies are very subjective. I beg to differ.

At Megabites now. Looks like I'll be breaking my fast more often here. Sad. How I wish I can break with my family everyday. My aim is to Pray Terawih everyday this year. That's my goal. InsyaAllah I will make it. Be it in Jemaah or individually. I will discipline myself to do so.

That's for now. Battery is running low.

Assalamualaikum Wr Wb.

embracing the month of ramadhan

2007-09-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik Wr Wb,

Hope to find everyone in good health and well-being.

With Ramadhan just a few days away, I think it is best that we start to reflect on what we wish to achieve by the end of this month. My wishlist, in order of importance:

to attain greater iman (InsyaAllah)
to gain taqwa (I've not been that afraid of God before this, which I know I should)
to foster an even greater bonds with family and friends through terawih prayers and eating together
to instill patience and forgiveness
to inculcate the spirit of 'giving' and not 'taking'
to help my non-Muslim schoolmates or school staffs understand the signinficanc of Ramadhan to us Muslims
to complete 30 days of Ramadhan, fasting (InsyaAllah this is possible)
to lose weight (this I can't deny)
to optimise my lunch and break times by studying or doing something purposeful
to keep in contact with all my family and friends that I've not been contacting (I miss them all)

So basically, these are what I plan to achieve within 30 days. Let it be a challenge. But at the end of the month, it is the satisfaction that keeps me going and drives me to work even harder for the next Ramadhan. As Ustaz (Atuk) always says, who knows this Ramadhan might very well be our last Ramadhan. That is why I'm going to take advantage of Ramadhan as much as I can.

Talking about my 10th point, I am very elated to receive a Friendster message from Amalina (my primary school friend). I can't believe that she can still remember me. It's more than 7 years now. I feel very happy. This is one reason why I like technology. Not only does it strengthen bonds, but it also rekindles old friendship that have been stagnant for years. AlhamduliLlah. I shall go search for more of my primary school friends.

Reached home at 10.30PM just now. Maryam paid for the cab ride. Took 5 from Trellis Tower home. Felt happy even though I was in school since 7.30AM in the morning.

The Organic Chem test was manageable for me. AlhamduliLlah the conceptual questions didn't come out except for one. All my hard work paid off. Funny thing was, I had fever after the buffet lunch at Lagun Sari yesterday. Returned home feeling very weak. Slept for an hour or so, but that didn't help. But guess what cured me??

Organic Chem! Yupp. Studying aka mugging made me feel better. I don't know why, but I felt sooo much better after doing my revision.

My family plans on going backpack travelling this December holiday, with Cik Nora and Cok Noorsia. Basically, it's the whole Duku Road gang. Yupp. Finally off for some adventure. Yayy-ness. Get to buy all the cheap but nice stuffs that you can stumble upon at their night markets. Food at Chow Kit is quite okay. I like the Banana loaf alot.

Okay la. I have to go sleep. Need to wake up early tomorrow.

Salam alaik Wr Wb!

warning! shopping in progress!

2007-09-02T21:42:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

As indicated, I can never live without having to squander money on non-food items at least once a fortnight. It's very obvious. I'm beginning to like Orchard. Why? Thanks to bus service 5. It is the most important bus service apart from 151. Yupp. 5 brings me to many places. Don't believe?

I splurged. Period. Won't brag about the discounts. All I can say is I'm one bargain hunter. Yupp. I believe in getting nice stuffs at a reasonable price. And one place to cater to my taste is ... Cotton On. Never heard of it before? It's an Aussie label. It's fashion is comparable to that of Topshop of Forever 21, only it is on a smaller scale. It has only one outlet, that is at Wisma Atria. The typical concept store style. But the big difference is in its price tag! You can get a similar top which costs $29 at Topshop for only 12 buckaroos! (You can check out their website: www.cottonon.com.au) Talk about cheap stuffs! That's the second reason why you're going to see me more often in Orchard. I love the Urban life.

Another brand which I would like to advocate is Skin Food. It's a Korean label. They carry items that are similar to Body Shop. The only difference is that the products are made entirely from food sources (or atleast that's what they claim on their webbie http://www.skinfood.sg). There's this lip gloss which is chocolate-scented. But thanks to my hyper-sensitive lips, I had to pass. Organic or not. There's even a lipbalm that is enriched with fennel oil which is said to prevent hunger. Haha. And they call it a Diet Lip Balm. I should get that ...

Materialistic. That's one word to describe the society today. Fortunately I have my religion to keep me aground and healthy (spiritually).

Before setting off for Orchard with Adek, I ate lunch after tutoring. Ate at home of course (to save cost). I ate ondeh-ondeh (the glutinous green balls filled with gula melaka syrup and coated with dessicated coconut). So I had to eat the whole thing within one swallow to prvent the syrup from dripping all over the table. Immediately after placing it in my mouth, the syrup squirted directly at my windpipe and entered my trachea! I was gasping for air. I guess that's how it feels like when people experience naza'. It was super scary. Because the syrup is thick, breathing was made even harder. For a moment I thought I was a goner. But AlhamduliLlah. It's not my time to go. But that was definitely a reminder for me that Death can come knocking on our door anytime, anywhere. AstaghafiruLlahal'azhim ...

Anyway, just a reminder. ONDEH-ONDEH is a hazard! Please eat it with caution!

Adek is crashing NUS tomorrow. Will be heading to Wisma after lunch to exchange something at Cotton On. Then off to mug. At home of course ... Either that or I will head to Bedok with Adek to buy the cheap $5 tees. They're nice and lasting. If you're lucky, you might even grab a GAP or Abercrombie & Fitch tee. I was. And I got a few of those. = )

To all fellow shoppers, please bring me along for I can help you save as much money as possible.

That's it from me, Supernyonya gone materialistic ...

Salam alaik wr wb.

curse lifted!

2007-08-31T20:06:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik wr wb.

Realised that I added the 'wr wb' above? Well, not many will realise this but when you type 'salam' or 'salam alaik', you are merely greeting a person. Because Assalamualaikum is Arabic after all.

But when you add WarahmatuLlahi Wabarakatu, you are greeting that someone as well as praying for his well-being and that InsyaAllah he/she will receive rahmat and barakah from Allah swt. Thus from now on, please nudge me if i forget to add in the second half. I am but a human. Forgetful and full of err in life.

My sincere apologies to Jihan for not being able to accompany her to revise for Genetics. I hope sending you to the library was enough to make up for it. Second apology to Maryam for not being able to assist with the admin stuffs at the LED Welcome Tea. Hope everything went smoothly, as planned. InsyaAllah.

I was feeling feverish and nauseous after lab, knowing too well that I might be down with fever today if I don't rest. Fortunately I listened to my body and went home instead. Fortunately I'm feeling much, much better as soon as I reached home. It's the weather I guess. One moment it's raining and next, the sun is scorching hot. Oh well, at least one thing is for sure:

My once-a-month-down-with-fever curse has been lifted!! Been down with fever once a month since February this year. Immunity was down then. But then again, I can't be too sure. I still have up till 12AM to make sure that I won't fall sick. Haiz.

Mugging for Genetics is not really the most interesting thing to do over the weekend. While Jihan is out there shopping the whole of tomorrow, I'm stuck at home revising. Oh well, I feel that my grades are more important.

Actually, I was lying. Haha. AstaghafiruLlahal'azhim! The whole family is going to play badminton at Toa Payoh. Yayy-ness. It's real fun. The sweat makes me feel good. It just indicates that I'm doing something healthy. Been eating and pigging out in school for the past week. I really need to burn those extra calories that are still stored in my already-fat body. Jihan thinks I'm not fat. She thinks that I'm anorexic. I am fat lah Jihan. Trust me ...

Yesterday was good. Jihan lost the Esprit sweater Saiful got for her last year. That thing costs more than a hundred buck. She literally dropped it somewhere at the MRT station. She was so pissed that she downed two 'grande' cups of Spinelli coffee within 3 hours, which she got from the Science canteen. And I had hot chocolate from MegaBites. The first lecture at LT 33 was freezing cold. I could have sworn that my feet felt as though they were suffering from frost bites and would have dropped anytime. Atleast our hot beverages helped us keep warm apart frpm burning our tongue. I can't taste the sweetness of the dates anymore. Sobbs = (

Talking about dates, I've managed to get sponsorship for dates for MS's Break Fast Kit project this Ramadhan. All thanks to Jihan. Hearts you dear. Haha. I'm becoming like her, with all the 'dear' and 'darling'. I'll have to get use to it I suppose. Anyway, Mak wants to sponsor her trademark Custard Puffs. NUS have not tasted the power of her small and innocent-looking puffs. Haha. Oh well. Not everyone will like it, but I know I do. It's yummy, trust me. Much better than my muffin ...

Okay. That's it for today. Need to get good CAPS. Haha.

Salam alaik Wr Wb.

nisfu sya'aban - the night of freedom from fire

2007-08-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Sitting on my bed right now, reflecting on how fast it has been since I took my A Levels. I could still remember reciting Surah Yaasin three times last year, nearing the big exams. And now, I have just completed reading it three more times along with my family. Look at how fast time flies. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time. And revisit all those fond and the not-so-fond memories once again.

I wish I could meet Raihana and Gang this Friday, along with Jihan. Hope that they'll stay to wait for me till after my lab ends. Why must labs be sooo long? It's another 4 hours this week. Haizz. That's life for a Life Science major I suppose.

Obviously I'm tired, after spending 10 hours in school. I actually love everything about today really. Maybe from the practical session onwards.

My lab partner is this bubbly girl, who prefers to be called Skye. Lucky for me, she was from poly and had 4 years experience doing lab research and reports. She was literally bouncing here and there carrying out the experiments. She did most of the stuffs. Either that or she would meticulously mentor me when handling the pippette. Earlier on, I noticed that she wore this purple I LOVE MED STUDENT tee before she donned her lab coat. Haha. And I thought that was ultra cuteness. I think the guys from medicine will be flattered. But she's nice. Only she doesn't quite like JC students because she feels that we are too pampered, which is true considering our SPA was basically spoon-feeding and an occasional sucking up or two. Oh well, we can't help it can we?

I skipped today's MS meeting to spend time with my family. They should understand, even though did mention that reciting Yaasin is not a sunnnah. Cik Leha and Cik Agil came to join us. I feel very blessed to have them around me. They were the ones who accompanied Mak and Bapak yesterday to Kak Jiji's house. Despite the tiredness (I almost banged my head against the window on the bus ride home because I almost fell asleep), I felt rejuvenated after the bath (to remove the E Coli from lab too) and felt happy because everyone actually waited for me to be home before they proceeded. Like I said, I feel very blessed. Insya Allah I'll pray that everyone will have their share of happiness with their loved ones. I know I did.

Oh, and Jihan dear ... I saved three muffins for you, as promised. One of each type. It won't be fresh but it can still be eaten no worries. I will bring it tomorrow okay?

That's it for today. I'm tired. Thank goodness lesson starts only at 4PM tomorrow. Abang said don't bother goign to school. It's only 3 hours. Yaa. 3 miserable hours. We'll see about that. I love genetics! I think ... (I said that only to make me want to go to lecture).

I'm fasting tomorrow so if anybody cares to buka with me, by all means okay? I'm looking friends too anyway, since I end at 7PM tomorrow.

And I heard from my brother that his friend, the one who liked to disturb me back then, and calls me SaWa (and not Sa-Rah), is now a gang chief somewhere in Singapore. And I thought, wth? Haha. I can only pray for his safety and InsyaAllah Allah will do the rest. But I thought it was kind of cute. Haha.

Okay laa. Too-da-loo (to the loo??), need my precious sleep.

Salam alaik ...

Nutty Chocolate, Blueberry Almond and Banana Walnut Muffins!

2007-08-26T17:19:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Been sitting at home all day, either baking or studying or talking nonsense to everyone at home. I wonder how the condition will be like in a few weeks' time, when Nenek and Cik Alil move out to their new home nearby. It's definitely quieter than usual. Right now, the house is very, very, very kecoh. Plus, once Abang moves out in a few years' time, the house is definitely going to be solemn. And when Aisyah goes abroad to study (tentatively), I'll be left all alone with Mak and Bapak every weekend. But then again, I would have been married off to someone by then (hopefully). Oh well. One thing is for sure: nothing is fixed. All these are bound to change somewhere along the way. I hope everything will turn out right. InsyaAllah.

Mak and Bapak just came back from Kak Jiji's house. Her side wants more than 7K for dowry. Their reason: GST Hike. Haha. That's cute. But whatever it is, Abang is definitely going to work hard to pay the dowry. A large sum for a person who's just started working like him. Wish I can help. But even I myself need to buy textbooks and copious boxes of printer inks for school.

Talking about school, I'm very disappointed in myself for not being able to do Ionic Equlibria questions for my Bio chem module. I'm sooo banging my head against the wall. Doing those were a breeze last year. I can complete a question without having to refer to any book. But now ... Haha. Can say that I am stressed. Need to get back the book that I lent my friend. I need it more now.

Earlier on, I managed to bake 3 batches of muffins! Yupp. There's chocolate, banana walnut and blueberry almond.

And my favourite is none other than .... Actually I like them all. The muffins were meant as 'buah tangan' for Kak Jiji's family when my parents went over. I made them and Mak helped with the oven. The Baby Belling has been giving us problems since 2 years back. But we still manage to churn out perfectly-heated brownies, pizzas, lasagna, muffins and definitely Mak's signature custard puff! Haha. Mak is good at handling problematic machines. This include the moody washing machine and the non-functional sewing machine (I'm still amazed by how she can make the latter work).

Alright. I'm off to read the notes for tomorrow's lecture.

Anyway, something for us to debate on:

Will our puasa 'batal' if we put on our contact lenses (the solution) or add the lubricant while we are fasting? As I understand the tear duct is linked to the nasal cavity. So far one person has said that my puasa won't batal. What say you?

Think it over and let me know okay.

Oh. If anyone has Yasmeen Ahmad's Mukhsin VCD/DVD, can lend it to me pretty please? Was watching it every now and then this morning when it was played on the Sensasi cable channel. I need to know what happened in the end! Haiz ...

Okay. Done. Please respond okay? Thank you!

Salam alaik.

I LOVE DATES!

2007-08-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Today is just like any other Saturday. Spent time tutoring the two girls. Ain's prelims' this week. Had to really go through techniques on how to score for essays, since it carries more marks per question. Didn't have to go through Chemistry. She wanted to focus on Biology anyway. So I did. Brought along my Ocean textbook to read. Finally managed to uderstand what the graph is talking about. Books really help, especially when you have a lecturer whom you can hardly comprehend. Met Kiah to collect my money and to pass her the practice papers for the Primary 2 girl. She's having difficulties with the Cik. She is having financial difficulties and Kiah's pay has been delayed for months now. I feel guilty because I was the one who handed to her the 3 girls. But honestly I didn't expect this to happen. When I tutored them months ago, there was no issue on late payments but she did postpone far too many lessons. Even with Adilah, nothing of that sort happened. I'm shocked myself. I guess the only way to settle is through the agent. Fortunately the 3 girls are under a tuition agency.

It's not that we are not being understanding but they have to understand that tutors are working for them, not merely helping them. It is very stressful when you tutor kids half-heartedly. I know how that feels. That's why I am sincere teaching Ain and Farhah because I want to enjoy doing it, and not dread. Ikhlas. Sincerity. Without it, there's bound to be no happiness in one's life.

Back at home, the usual late lunch before off to my religious class at Chai Chee with Mak, and today with Adek too. I missed out on the LBKM Bursary Disbursement Ceremony today and the Combined School Camp meeting because of this class. I feel that 'ilmu is utmost importance, as highlighted by Rasulullah saw.

I've learnt more about Ramadhan and the upcoming Nisfu Sya'aban: what to do and what NOT to do. It's very interesting to know the mistakes that you have been committing all along without realising it. Ramadhan is in 3 weeks' time. The committee for the NUSMS iftar is on the way. I'm looking forward to this event. Especially the Qiyamulail. It will be great InsyaAllah. Many du'as so that this event will be a success. Ameen.

Talking about dates, I love them! Had two today, after not having them for quite some time. The first was from Ain. The date was coated in heavenly white chocolate, with a whole almond stuffed within the dried fruit. It was divine! Indeed chocolate boosts my serotonin level. I've once heard of people get chocolate orgasm. I think they're weird. Chocolate only gives me this inexplainable form of sensation, not to the point of choco orgy. Eeew.

Ustaz distributed the dates Mak ordered from him weeks ago for the fasting month. This time it is soft and moist. It's nice. Just nice. But I still prefer the ultra sweet honey dates from Madrasah Wak Tanjong. The one that you donate for $10-$15 per box. Those were divine. Can diabetic patients eat dates? Hmm. This is interesting. If I'm ever pregnant, I will consume alot of dates, raisins, sultanas and all those sweet, dried fruits. Mak used to munch on those stuffs when she was preganant with Adek. And look how smart that brat is right now. I'm going to pressure her to enter RJC. Heee. I know she can if she wants too. I'm very supportive of her ... Haha.

Okay. That's for today. Tomorrow, Bapak plans to go bowling in the morning. Because CSC offers a lower rate per game before noon. He needs to practice for a tournament next week. Of course I feel like joining but I may need to help Mak make muffins tomorrow. Abang's 'merisik' rombongan is going to Kak Jiji's house tomorrow. Yupp. He's going to get engaged at the end of this year hopefully. InsyaAllah. I'll be praying for them. She's nice. So I don't really mind having her as my sister-in-law. Sometimes I wonder if it's too early for him to get engaged. Those Year 2 guys in my school are all his age and they're still mugging and have no time to think about getting engaged, let alone marriage, at the moment. What's your stand? Ya, so I'm baking muffins to send over to the 'other side'.

I wanted to follow. I am a dummy when it comes to the whole tunang, marriage procedures. Like duh! I'm neither engaged nor married. Plus, I've not seen a complete procedure LIVE in my entire life. So I got kind of agitated with Mak (which I'm not supposed to in the first place because she is my Mak, so sorry ya Mak) when she said: Kenapa kau nak ikut? Kan soalan bodoh tu!

How would I know?? Even Abang Firdaus's or Abang Robin's engagement was 'contorted'. The ceremony didn't follow the adat istiadat of Malay culture. Call me an idiot. Please. I'm not goign tomorrow anyway.

Adek and I thought of how life would change once Abang marries and move out from our house. My first thought was to convert his room into a games room, with a pool table in the centre and suede L-shaped couches resting perfectly at the corner of his room. And I'll be pool-ing around all day. Why pool? Because his room is not long enough to create a bowling alley. Haha. Plus, it's less noisy than bowling.

Okay, enough of my thoughts for today. More next time okay? I need to study. I'm getting hooked to my textbooks. And I think I love my computing module best. Hardware, software, ROM, RAM. Things that I've never known are now what I like most.

Okies. I'm done. Please feel free to tag okay? I don't want my tagboard to expire like the other time. Thank you.

Salam alaik.

ADHD vs DHA

2007-08-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

No lab today and definitely the best time to sleep in till afternoon. But no, I had my NUS MS minutes to edit and submit, in addition to the other admin stuffs I had to settle since Maryam wasn't at the meeting yesterday. My fingers were crammed from the long hours of typing. I can't help but wonder how clerks can sit in front of the computer, typing non-stop. MS EXCO is on the ball that's for sure and I'm glad. I just hope that this ball will not slow down nor stop halfway through it's journey. And I believe that we can all make it.

ADHD versus DHA. Hmm. Okay, so a medicine student pointed out my mistake. Me paiseh? For what? It's his field of studies. He should know better and point out to ignorant people like me our mistakes. The only things that I'm very good at right now is shopping and blogging (but I still can't reach up to Fairus's standard. His blog is far too interesting for an apathetic dodo like me. Haha. Who cares.

I didn't attend training today due to my strained back. It's very bad. Real bad. I just hope it has nothing to do with my spine. I wouldn't want to injure it and be forced to wear the braces thingy. I think I should start exercising. Do my yoga routines religiously from now on. As if that's going to happen. Time seems to be wasted away on other important stuffs. Haha. Blogging and socialising @ chatting.

Tutorials are draining my brain juice. I've forgotten most of my concepts and that is very, very bad. I regretted not revising before the term started. I wil catch up InsyaAllah. I love Biology and Chemistry. Right, right?

Meeting ended at 9.40 PM yesterday and we left at about 10 pm. I reached home at 10.40PM. That's a record-breaking 40 minutes bus ride from school to home. Unbelievable. Bus trip home with Hakim and Azhar and the Bukit Panjang people was interesting. Talked to Azhar all the way till my bus stop. He is this brotherly figure whom I can relate and talk to with regards to school and CCA stuffs. I guess the whole MS EXCO is like a big family. InsyaAllah they will be able to help whenever I'm in need of support and help, just like what my DiRaUlLuHa gang did for me. I love these people. I really do.

That's it from me today. I'm feeling stoned. Really. Need ... sleep ...!

Salam alaik.

Post-AGM Frenzy

2007-08-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik,

Back from NUS MS AGM at Guild HOuse in front of YIH. Ended at about 10. Soooo my fellow cabber (normally its cabbers but the other cabber left without us) and I hysterically hailed for a cab to the horror of some guys. Haha. Ya. You can tell how desperate we were to get a cab within the campus. It's bad. Really bad. So both Shikin and I have lecture. Can't help it if we want to reach home and rest. No?

The AGM went smoothly. Alhamdulillah. Guess I wasn't too glamorous for the event. Haha. Cos I've got all the stares from people when I boarded the bus on the way to school. I was late anyway. I missed the bus twice. First, I saw the bus left. But it was a good thing. Because something cropped up that I had to go home. Then I left for the bus stop to sense that I've missed the next bus. Fortunately 151 was nice to me today.

I've stopped observing bus drivers already. I think the scenery through the window is much more fascinating. Oh well. Bukit Timah is one of the more picturesque places in Singapore. Well ...

Back to the AGM, so I did my typing of the minutes. Safraz, who was beside me couldn't resist but to criticise how slow I am in typing. Can't help it right? I'm not the type of person who sits in front of the computer 24/7. Maybe I should. But that would only mean that my job will not be done. Sad but true. The event was great. Gifts from the ex-EXCO touched my heart. Now my job is to do my best and survie my 1 year as an Asst Gen Sec. People have been asking which Year I'm from. I guess some people have this feeling that Year 1s are not competent for bigger roles. Not that I am, but like I've told the Shura: I'm the type of person who accepts whatever challenges that lies ahead of me.

Actually, I'm totally worn out. Think I'll stop here for the moment. I have to read stuffs for tomorrow's lecture. Plus, I need to get my minutes sorted out before I submit to Mariam @ Boss. That's it for now I guess. Anyway, I almost cried upon seeing Noor Sarah. Met her in school and hugged her. I wish I can do more to help her in the future. After all, she has been the one to encourage me morally. I will do something to help her. I miss her. Okies, need my beauty sleep. If not, not beautiful anymore. Yupp!

Salam alaik all.

Mummy mummy, it's a Big Bananaaaaaa!!

2007-08-20T13:53:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Yupp. I;m at home. Lesson ended at 12PM and I've decided to go home. Plus, I bought two textbooks which felt as though they weighed a ton thus giving me all the more reasons to go home. Considering that I've reached school at 7AM in the morning, I definitely wouldn't want to stay in school for more than 12 hours straight. Plus, it's only the second week of school. I would defnitely get more opportunities to stay in school till indefinite. Yupp. Now that I'm at home, I feel relaxed. And thinking twice about attending MS meeting later. I MUST go. Haha. It will keep me from slacking at home, blogging and chatting unnecessarily. I shall leave home after Asar. That I will.

Talking about blogs, I feel that blogging is very addictive. Especially when you have friends around you who have very interesting entries. I've lost most of their url. Sob. I'm such a bad friend. PS. I think the Arts Girl phenomenon brought up in Fairus's blog is informative cum hilarious. I laughed. Ya. I guess you'll be laughing at it too.

Ouh. I forgot to bring up the dream I had two nights ago: Hisyam won some Best Teacher Award. And he was super 'kerek' (stuck-up) la. Okay. Basically that's it. Haha. Thank goodness he's not like that. He thinks he's a loser, which I doubt he is. Okay. Period.

The bus journey back was interesting. Normally it would be a long and mundane 1-hour journey back home. But I found today's quite 'happening', although there wasn't much physical action except for the clattering of the window of the non-airconditioned 151 bus. I saw this advertisement which I found erotic. They actually put up a condom advertisement on the ad board at the bus stop right before Sunset Way in Clementi. Okamoto was showing how thin (0.03 mm) their condoms are compared to other brands (~0.06 mm). Haha. And the cute thing is, the condoms were unrolled on a banana. My first thought was: Kids are definitely going to point their fingers at the board because of the big banana that's confronting them. And parents will move them away or even cover their eyes just like the 'See No Evil' monkey would.

My take: To remove such ads and place them somewhere in Geylang, preferably at Lorong 18, or even Desker Road, where such products are highly in demand and the sales of such contraptions there is highly encouraged to curb the spread of HIV. That makes more sense and definitely more suitable than putting it up in neighbourhoods, where kids are abound.

Anyway, back to my bus journey. The 151 bus driver is definitely a speedster! No doubt about it. The way the bus swerves when he overtakes the road-hogging lorries in front showed how 'terror' he is in manouvering the bus. That's the reason why I reached my transit point in Toa Payoh within 30 minutes instead of the usual 45. The driver reminded me of a typical Mafia (not that he's Italian nor did he have the killer looks) because of his hair. It was combed back, making it look sleek and macho. Haha. I'm having wild imaginations right now. Stop it la Sarah! The only crimes he could possibly have committed is tailgating (is that even a crime?) and driving on road shoulders (how else can he become a bus driver if he has criminal records? Err, can he?) The next bus chugged along after a 10-minutes wait. And the bus driver, this time looking like a typical Chinese secret society member back in the 60s, is a dichotomy of the mafia driver. He undeniably practises Road Safety. He took almost forever to reach MacPherson, after which he showed his wild side. Oh well, atleast both my textbooks and myself have reached home safe and sound.

I think you would have noticed this: I love to observe bus drivers! Not that they're good looking but I'm flabbergasted by the way they drive the bus. I know I still suck at lane changing. I know I can never lane-change unless the road is super empty. Haha. Singapore roads are a hazard to me whereas I am a hazard to everyone else. I can never drive a car safely. Haha. So guys, you sure you want me to drive you home in the future? We'll see if you reach home safely.

Okay. Now back to school life. School has been great so far. The chinese/hongky slangs have sink in. I understand them better now. Only problem is, I don't understand the contents. Haha. Chemistry is making my head spin. It's going to crack real soon. Bio? Don't ask. Hopefully tutorials will help in helping me understand the contents more effectively. No? Haha.

Okay. That's it. Before I post anymore nonsense.

Salam alaik all!

My Typical Sunday (I'd like to think of it that way)

2007-08-19T21:33:00.001+08:00

Salam alaik.

I'm feeling down right now. He made it sound as though I made made a mistake by making them vote. They are leaders, and I strongly believe that they will be responsible for their decision. UOPA: to hell with it. I think it is a bias ranking system which I don't wish to be a part of. I guess this is the reason why I won't sign up for HOBTC. I don't intend to pursue further simply because I don't like the overall system of the CCA (except for my unit's). Hazim is going to CIBTC. Yayy-ness.

My day was smooth sailing actually. Tutored from 8am to 1.30pm and talked to my tutees about school. I feel very close to them. Sometimes I wish I can sit beside them during their examinations and cheer them on (or maybe help them with a question or two). Sadly I can't. All I can do is pray that they will do well.

Upon reaching home, it's the usual pigging out. Ate the remaining Mee Soto which Nenek couldn't finish (which was a lot!) and munched on epok-epok central. After a few sticks of satay, logged on to the computer and for the first time, Haireez chatted with me online. Yaa. I respect him for supporting MS even though he's part of the PBM EXCO. He even publicised MS's AGM on Friendster (The Vault), which I thought was very nice of him. I guess the only way we MS peeps can repay such kindness is to support PBM's event. Such mutual relationship between organisations is almost non-existent in this globalised world. Everyone to his own. Oh well, that's why we're called Muslims. Because we never forget Rasulullah (s.a.w.)'s teaching. InsyaAllah it will always be sown deep within our soul and mind.

Back to the real world: Another shopping spree. Mak said I should spend some of my tuition earnings on my sister. And I did. Got her a pair of the ubiquitous Giselle Bundchen's Brazillian-style rubber sandals. I think they are a rip-off. The last pair I bought (a white Braziliano Praia sandals) didn't last me a year. Within 5 months, the strap split and till now, is beyond repair. I even went to the extent of buying a white duct tape just to rejoin the strap. A futile attempt I shall say. I give up. But it's still on the shoe rack outside my house. Sitting pretty, waiting to be thrown away. Ironically, I got myself a pair of rubber flip-flop by Ipanema. It's nice, simple and way cheaper than the Havaianas or whatever crappy Brazillian contraption they sell at New Urban Male (no offence Hong Yi and Justin). Another Nalgene bottle added to my collection (I'm still mourning over the loss of my first Nalgene 2 years ago) and this will be my sidekick for as long as I'm in uni. Hopefully I won't lose it =)

Squandered more money on food at Bedok's massive pasar malam. And when I say massive, I really mean it! It stretches from Chai Chee Avenue (across Ansar mosque) to the Bedok NTUC outlet. A cornucopia of food, clothes, bags and more food! I had the takoyaki (squid) and fish char kway. My first takoyaki in years. You can hardly get halal takoyakis. I was delighted when I saw it yesterday!

Bumped into Shikin and Yan Ho while Adek and I were at Esprit. She was surprised. Really surprised. Will be seeing her and the rest of the MS EXCO peeps tomorrow and the day after. AGM this Tuesday. Hopefully it will be a successful handover and that I will stay committed and responsible for as long as I'm in the EXCO. InsyaAllah. Will be going home with Cik Alil tomorrow I guess, since he has lab duty till 9PM. Thank goodness lesson on Tuesday starts at 4PM.

Okies guys. That's it for today. I'm tired and need to wake up at 5AM tomorrow morning. And good news: Noor Sarah will be coming home tomorrow! I miss her alot even though I wasn't close to her.

Life as a NEW University Undergraduate

2007-08-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Today was yet another long day which felt incredibly short. So what have I done today? Alot really, in addition to attending class agama and mugging for Chemistry. Call me paranoid if you must. Even my family thinks that I'm getting worked up over nothing. Problem is, if I don't start now, I'll never start. I have to achieve a minimum of 3.5 for my CAP every semester. But knowing how kiasu and stubborn I can be, you should expect to see me mug to get into first class honours. That's the only way MOE is ever going to sponsor for my Masters. Unless I get a first class honours, I will have to either source for other institutions/beneficiaries which are willing to sponsor my further studies (which must be abroad as local unis do not offer Graduate studies in Life Sciences, not yet). Haha. So jia you Sarah! Rah, rah, rah!

I've decided not to watch fireworks with the gang because I prioritise my well-being first, then my studies. Well-being aka health. I'm trying to break the 'falling-sick-once-a-month' curse, which will most probably cease this month. Plus, I can't afford to fall sick with schoolwork to think about. I'm one very kiasu person as you would already know.

NPCC was great yesterday. The Secondary 1s & 2s enjoyed their training alot. Yes, yes. The unit is experiencing a Paradigm Shift (it's Anjakan Paradigma in Malay, for Jihan) after being 'reprimanded' by Mr Chua. Well, it is for the betterment of the unit. Perhaps having the meeting with the Secondary 3s did knock some sense into their empty-and-doing-nothing-about-it head. They had fun too after some interaction with their respective squads. To me, yesterday's training was one of the more ideal trainings we have ever had. Everything went well. We call any training a success when all the objectives are met and most importantly, cadets enjoyed themselves. And they did! I'm very proud of my Instructor team. And the NCOs gave us an 8 out of 10 on our leadership. Kudos to us guys!

Tomorrow is going to be another exciting day I believe. I will tutor in the morning till Zuhur, after which I will head to Parkway and squander my money at Esprit, G2000, Leather Ark and Diva. They sell cheap (except for Esprit) and high-quality stuffs. Promised Adek that I'll get something for her. Oh well, she's already asking for an Esprit bag. We'll see about that.

Anyway, pool with Abang was great. He's a great player-cum-coach. I'm sooo going to spend my Saturday mornings playing pool from now on, with or without him. It's $4 per hour anyway. Where else can you get it that cheap but at ..... (Go figure).

That's it from me. Anyway, to all my beloved MS EXCO peeps, I have a surprise for everyone this Tuesday. Hope nothing crops up and prevent me from giving them this surprise!

Okays, Salam alaik all. Need some beauty sleep.

7 Modules ...

2007-08-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

Everyone's suppose to have 5 modules. Now that I have 7 modules, I'm getting freaked out. I'm so going to call the Chemistry admin lady the first thing tomorrow morning, perhaps after she's in the office. I don't wish to see a W grade on my result. Only As are permitted. (I have high expectations of myself you see ...).

Lectures have been great thus far. Managed to grasp new information here and there. Prometaphase I is already stuck in my head fortunately. And the pi and sigma bond in organic compounds. Yayy. I need to mug already. Need hot chocolate by my side. The one from the cafe burnt my tongue this morning and now I can't taste sweet things that well. Sobb =(. You know how I adore sweet stuffs ... Now that I can't enjoy the sweet things in life, I feel kind of miserable.

So I splurged. Hehh. $20 on locker, another $20 on the faculty windbreaker. $60 on a bag (U.P. $129) and $20 on a new pencil case, both from Esprit. I love sales. I love them alot alot alot. Ouh, and my last $10 on stationery, which I will claim from my MOE funds.

Alright, have to go for a meeting with the DiRaUlLuHa gang. Oh how I love them to bits. We may go watch fireworks together this weekend. It's that or books.

Okies guys, salam alaik. Don't forget to tag okies!

Today in History: My First Day In University

2007-08-13T16:43:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Yupp. I'm already back from school. Suppose to end at 12pm but decided to accompany Jihan instead for her Maths lecture. So that she can accompany me this Wednesday for my Computing lecture. Smart right? Haha ...

Will be attending both PBM and MS Welcome Teas over the next 2 days. I have to skip NUS NPCC's because I might be required to presume my post as Maryam's sidekick for the latter. Yupp, to collate names of Year 1s (I despise the use of the lingo 'freshie' for some reason) who will be joining the society and update the database. Haha. Yupp. I'm already designated a post: Assistant Secretary. I've decided to take it up since I'm familiar with the typical job scopes of a secretarial post. Minutes, PR, yada yada yada ... Dull? Maybe, but I'm an admin-oriented person. That explains why I'm a very meticulous and systematic person. Hehh.

IET over the last 2 days was great. Learnt alot about myself and the people around me. It's great to be part of a new family. Yupp.

School was great. Both my lecturers are foreigners. The lady is from Hongkong and the guy from China. How interesting. But I think they're smart. Damn smart. And I think they speak rather well. Or atleast we understood what they were talking about for most part. Reminds me Miss Khoo from TPJC. She's Malaysian though. Chemistry is sooo amazing. It never fails to excite me. And neither is Biology. Call me weird but I love science. IT'S WITHIN AND ALL AROUND YOU! Yupp.

Got to go. Need to revise for Chemistry. Love all! Need to dig for my JC Chem notes. Yupp. I must work hard! From now on. I don't want to slack.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIHAN!

Salam alaik people. Stay happy alrights?

Happy National Day!

2007-08-09T20:41:00.001+08:00

Heyys.

Eve of National Day was one of the more memorable nights in my entire life. Spent it with Kiah, Tom and Anne at Popeye's. Great mash potatoes they have there. It reminded me of A & W's trademark Coney Dog. I miss A & W alot. Enjoyed myself. The bus ride home was the best. By the time Tom and I reached the bustop in Tampines to change bus, it was already 2330 hrs. Waited for 15 mins before we checked for the schedule for the last buses. To my horror, I MISSED THE LAST BUS! The last bus was at 2315 hrs. OMG! So we hailed for a cab instead. A London Cab approached us (without us hailing for it) and Tom was already hissing at me the higher fare we'll be charged if we were to hop on board. We didn't have a choice so we reached home in style: Try picturing myself as a taitai. In tudung. Haha.

Today was great. Woke up at 10am and off to Tessensohn Road after Zuhur. We went bowling at the Civil Service Club there and for the first time in my life, I've finally figured out a tactic on how to score in bowling. I was short of 1 point to tie at first place. Abang won instead. It's alright. What matters most is the time spent on bonding. I've never felt this close to my family in my entire life.

After two games, we headed off to Pizza Hut in Toa Payoh. The service there is bad. The 3rd pizza came 45 minutes after we ordered. My dad had to lodge a complain because such a service is simply unacceptable. So guys, stay away from the Toa Payoh outlet okies? The outlet in Plaza Singapura is the best. My brother used to work there and the people goes the distance to make their customers happy.

Alright. Off to watch teevee. Salam alaik all. Will be heading down to the OSA tomorrow morning I guess.

Nights people ...

What A Long Week ... (And it's only 2 days!)

2007-08-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

I still think that there's something wrong with my notebook.Why isn't anyone convinced?? Why or why ...

The guy at the IT COOP said the notebook is functioning fine, contrary to what my brother (in my eye he is an IT expert) insisted. The delay in opening a folder takes a minimum of 30 seconds (as opposed to 1 second). The guy told me to ONLY bring it back to him once the delay touches 5minutes. WTH. I've paid so much for such a poor diagnosis of my ailing notebook. I'm going to sue him when that happens.

Right after the visit to YIH, it was time for my MS EXCO interview. Haha. Yup. I was nominated. Me? In EXCO? Oh wow, and to say I was a slacker in JC. They said they were impressed with what I blurted. And I thought I managed to keng my way through the 45 minutes. Oh wow. Seriously, if I'm selected, I'll do my best. If not, I'm fine with it too. Haha. Right Sarah. And I'm beginning to miss my S1 (Noor Sarah). She'll be back soon. Will be attending her late father's 40th day tahlil this Friday. Will help her mum out. Her mother is a mentally and spiritually strong person. I emulate her strengths. Just like my mum too.

Talking about strengths, yesterday's MOE Award Presentation was indeed an eye-opener for me. Seeing all the smart-a**es getting scholarships and potentially studying in renowned foreign universities for free. Envious? Perhaps, but I feel that they deserve it for doing well don't you think so? And from yesterday, I've sworn to myself that will dedicate my life and time to teaching. It is the path that I have chosen and the only direction to look at from now on is ahead. I'll not regret making this decision. Just like what Haruki Murakami wrote in one of his novels: Never regret. Only a**holes do that.

And so I shan't.

Miss Adeline Leo, my Biology teacher back in TPJC, was my invited guest for the ceremony. I never expected her to be so proud of me. I guess I'm the first to invite her to attend such a ceremony. She may not realise it but she was my encouragement and still is. I aspire to become like her: attain my first class honours and go for further studies. InsyaAllah. I was touched by her words. I gave her the encouragement to become a better teacher. Someday, it will be my turn to be in her shoes. I guess this is an indication of success when you become a teacher, no?

NPCC. Hmm, I guess I'll save this for my next post. I'm still caught in the middle. After all, it was NPCC that had exposed me to great learning experiences. It is already a part and parcel of me. Oh well, I have up till next week to decide. Pray for me okay? I need to see the light. Yupp.

That's it for now. Salam alaik all!

No Offence Gates BUT I HATE Vista

2007-08-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

The title of my post says it all. My computer is responding slower than a tortoise crawling. Thought it was just my computer or Fujitsu but Diyanah said her's was the same. I guess its Vista then. It's really getting on my nerve.

A New Beginning

2007-08-04T11:11:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik.

Yup, new skin. Signifies the start. A fresh start. With a great ending. I hope ... Anyway, I'm still experiencing difficulty in restoring my flooble chatterbox. Oh well, there's already something impeding my journey to success.

I dreaded going to school. But ever since the start of JC2, I suddenly felt the importance and fulfillment in going to school. Call me weirdo if you must, but I think school is cool (oh wow it rhymes!) especially when you have great friends who're always rooting for you. It's undeniable that I miss my JC mates, especially the Jing Gang. Spending the past 6 months at home and at times teaching bratty and childish secondary school kids, I've realised that school is more fun that the 6 months. School is where you learn and have fun with your friends. Even though it's tiring, it's the memory that lingers forever (or perhaps until you've reached senescence *shrugs*). Reminiscing the past is all I can do. I can't relive it anymore. I miss everyone.

Now back to the present. Yesterday's BBQ was not a really 'wow' event for me because not everyone from my group was present. The best part of the night was actually the ride home. Abang is the best rider. I think. He can squeeze through almost every nook and cranny of the gridlock we were in at Still Road. He's good. Yupp. And the peng (I don't mean cold as in teh peng) at the ECP flyover was great. You can literally feel the adrenalin rushing through your blood. I enjoyed it alot.

I'm off to Sim Lim in a moment to get a laptop casing. Yupp. Got myself a laptop. Fujitsu. I won't do a product review on it yet. Next week perhaps. When I have the time. I'm trying to spend my remaining hours of freedom (before school officially commences on the 13th) going out and shop. I just spent 90 bucks last Thursday and another 80 2 weeks ago. I'm a big spender if you must know. After all, it IS called retail therapy. Haha. Better known as impulsive shopping.

Heyys, I've to go.

Salam Alaik ...

2007-07-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back in action. It was my Venom-ous friends that reminded me that I own a blog. Wow.

Alright. Back from 6 (not 7, calculation error) straight days of camp. Reported for ATC at Ubin at 5 PM after booking out from MS FOC at noon that very same day. Tired? Perhaps. The word sleepy fits the bill more accurately.

FOC was great. Thanks to great groupies! You guys simply rock. The most memorable moment being the third night, where everyone simply talked our hearts out. Imagine, talking about your life to a group of people whom you have just met. And I thought I can only talk my hearts out to only a handful few. Didn't expect my fellow freshies to be as gila2 as I am. But who cares. As long as we have fun. No? Ouh. And not forgetting my fetish for sappy malay songs. Especially those sung by Mega and Slam. Haha. Even though I don't look nor possess the qualities of a minah jiwang. Right ...

ATC was both physically and mentally tiring. Physically, both Hermann and I were constantly on the move. It was as though we've set up a clinic. Mentally drained because of the 'keng'-ers @ those who fake their injuries/illnesses because they want to skip activities to sleep. I was soooo pissed with this girl that I kicked her out from the Medic Post. She said she had migraine. Ya right. The symptoms sooooo contradict her claims. As if we don't know how to identify migraines. Those people are simply a bunch of drama mamas. Act as though they are in pain infront of us. Behind us, God knows how alive and kicking they truly are. Learnt alot from Hermann. He was sooo patient. I have learnt the ultimate lesson: I can never know if one is truly sick. He/She may not show. When a person claims to be sick, just tend to him/her. Well, this leads us back to the Hippocratic Oath. This is the reason why I aspire to become a doctor. Oh well, I can always become one after serving my 4 years bond as a teacher. Haiz.

QET this Thursday. Going to shop for a nice school bag and browse through notebooks at the comcen with Akak. I feel very fortunate to have her around. Hee. The tea session for Science faculty is this Friday. Sadly I have to miss out on the outing with my new groupie. Haiz. Wasted. See if I'm able to skip some parts which I feel are not necessary for me to sit in.

Abang Robin getting married this weekend. Abang, hopefully, will get engaged to Kak Jiji by the end of this year. As for myself? Oh well, I still have 4 more years ahead of me. I will get by. Will always pray for the two couples that their relationship will last, Ameen.

I'm planning to take up double concentration in Life Sciences. Also a minor in Analytical Chemistry. Looks like I'll have to rule out any other CCA if I want to aim for a first class honours. InsyaAllah.

That's it for now. Need to go get my blog a new skin. One that is fresh to symbolise a new start. Uhuh. Hopefully I can find one with ease.

Wish me luck for my QET ya?

Salam Alaik all ...

2007-06-20T17:18:00.000+08:00

Salam Alaik. Hi. Changed the template. Again. Didn't get to block any slot for driving lessons today. None. Haiz.

Yesterday was bad. And the instructor kept telling me 'Now I know why you failed'. Oh no you don't. All your diagnosis was wrong. Too bad. But he is good. He criticises people like nobody's business. I like it that way really. I feel soooo challenged that I wish to prove him wrong! Haha. That's me alright. Next week: TP! Omg, I need to pass it. I've already spent 2.5K. With school starting soon, I wish to get this over and done with quick. Pray for me okay?

Sadly, he still smokes. I knew how hard it was for him to quit the other time. And he does it again. Oh well, I can't say much. I am still a friend who cares. I don't think he feels that way.

So now, Kiah told me something interesting. I'm going to have a new friend! Haha. Yupp. A shy person. Kiah mentioned that he's good-looking and cute (literally). I'm fine with anything. The more the merrier. Need to brush up on my social skills. Must ... make .... FRIENDS! Told akak I'm going to eye only at anak datuks (not the ones with the grandchildren). Haha. Ya right. Nonsense.

Akak agreed to accompany me for my QET. Heh. On condition I accompany her for her medical check up. Jihan will be in the same faculty too. Yay. Some familiar faces are good.

Teaching Award talk next week. I am very grateful to have been accepted for this Award. My fees will all be paid for. One less thing to worry my parents. I don't mind the 4 year bond. I feel that Teaching has great career prospects for a person like me. I Love to Teach! Hee. Yvette too. She wants to take up the degree after her diploma. Great!

That's it from me today. Salam alaik! Ouh. I have a fetish for the sour cherries which are in season now. It's a must-try okay!

2007-06-16T21:53:00.001+08:00

Salam alaik!

Has been a busy week. As usual. Aside from NPCC, of course the usual retail therapy and window shopping sessions. To de-stress myself you see. Right ... I'm not stressed anymore. Yupps.

So ya. I bypassed his request to re-enter my life. I permitted him but only as a friend. I know how hard it is for him. But I feel it's futile considering I won't have the time and since we are both world aparts. Honestly, I have never been that badly hurt in my entire life. And the diraulluhareajtidawead gang couldn't forget that eventful campfire night. It was such an emotionally painful blow. Thankfully the pain was shortlived. Due to great friends! Eg. The diraulluha... Gang, The Jing Gang. Had it not been for them, I would have been in IMH now. (Okay2, so I may be exaggerating it)

Some people think that I should teach him a lesson and simply ignore or take revenge. But what's the point? I don't like to make enemies. Even if he did cheat on me, so what? I have God to love me more and of course for ever. Peace is my way of life. Nirvana ... Rock on!

Ubin trip this morning was fun. Tiring but exhilirating. Cycled around Ubin. Whenever it came to the up slope part, I push my bike. Ya. I've lost the strength. I'm so ashamed of myself. Stuffed 10 sandwich biscuits from morning till 12. Woww! Haha. Some diet I'm on ... Sheesh. So back home, ate again. Mee soto la, burger laa, popiah laa, yoghurt laaa ... Guess I've already burnt too much calories. The hunger pangs are getting more frequent nowadays. Anyway, Khad said Shig Kit is cute (duhh!) and that Luqman had a great time listening to Mamak sing birthday songs for him non-stop. Ouh. And finally we're going to attend a wedding as a team! Mamak's sister is getting married. Di and I plan to rewang. Seems like fun!!

Yesterday was great. Went jogging with bapak right after Subuh. 2km and I could still run. Thought I pancit already. The last time I really ran was in May last year, for my 2.4 km run. Okay, so I took a break and waited for Adek to wake up before I cycle around the neighbourhood for 2km. Intended to go home and bathe before going to Cik Ani's house to look at the handmade jewellery she's selling. It is ultra nice and sophisticated anyway! So ya. Took the key from Mak and she made us go up instead. Next, unexpectedly, we were doing yoga! Woww! Haha. Talk about extreme workout. Too bad the calories burnt are being replenished by the pigging out I've been enjoying. Miso crunch! Yumm.

Abang plans to get engaged by the end of the year. Alhamdulillah. I wana be part of the wakil team. Visit Kak Jiji's family. Hee. I wana kaypo2 too maa?? Nenek wants him to buy a $500 diamond engagement ring. Oh dear. Haha. But I'll keep praying for the best. Ameen. Love him to bits!

Alrights. My shopping list now includes a handphone (N76, recommendations/critics anyone?), a notebook, a digital camera (10.0 megapixel!), a wallet and a pair of casual trousers. And not forgetting that Nike (laptop) haversack.

Saw the nice wallet at Bugis. Marie Claire. Thought it's nice. I'm kind of influenced by Kiah. Perhaps I should check out the Braun Buffels and Bonias too. Haha.

My current occupation: Professional tai-tai. Yupp. Shopp la!

Adek got her SonyEricsson K810i just now. I'm still undecided on what I should get.

Tomorrow, another outing. Shop in the morning for Father's Day gift then buffet at Siam Kitchen! I miss their Tom Yum Soup! It's deli-yummy. Pray. Then off to bowl. At ECP most probably. With whom? Haha. The one and only Duku Road Gang. They're the best ('cos most of the time our spendings are paid for by Mak. Heheh)!

That's it for now. Oh. One last: I passed my English EPT! Alhamdulillah. Thank you Mak for accompanying me.

And another one: my TP is in 8 days' time! Oh dear, hope I'm ready for it. Please pray for me! Love all! Thanks guys.

Salam alaik all! Supernyonya loves all!

-PEACE-

2007-06-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

3 days of LTC has worn me out. Thank God it's over. But what I would like to see most is my Sec 2s & 3s excel and do well as NCOs in the future. I have faith in each and evry one of them. I do.

Anyway, after 3 days of NPCC, retail therapy has never felt better! To spend is divine! Haha. Have yet gotten my hands on my Nike bag. Guess its sold out by now. Haha. Just need a nice and durable bag to bring to school.

Back from shopping, now to plan for the assessment. Setting the paper. Hard or not? We'll see about that. Haha. It's not easy to become an NCO.

So he made me read his blog. I don't know his intention(s). I don't wish to know. I don't wish to interpret. Not now. Not ever. I've already had enough of this. I need a long break from all these. Sorry ...

Will post up soon. Whenever that is. Need to do my test now. Salam Alaik all ...

2007-05-31T20:25:00.001+08:00

Hmm. Im blogging only because the computer was nearer to me than mak was when Bapak pointed out something. Something very ... I shall say? (still can't find the exact word to describe)

So he said that I shouldn't have told Cik Rahman my Uncle's birthday date. His sole reason is because it's not nice, and that my Uncle may not like his personal things being told to others. Even birthdays?? Shruggs. My Uncle didn't say anything. So ya. I don't understand why he's kicking up a fuss over such trivial matters. So the next time there's another gathering, I shall not sit with them. That's the best solution to prevent me from getting him to start finding fault with me. Maybe he has other reasons. Who knows. Hmm.

I don't know what's wrong with him. Maybe his ultra big ego, which I think exists since Tok Wan passed away, makes him feel that he's always in the right. But then, the things he said, whatever it is, I will heed and not do it again. He is my dad after all. And I love him the way he is.

I am so accustomed to his ways already. He never apologises. It's only recently that he coaxes my mum or I after reflecting on his actions. Well, I guess he's learning how to be a better leader at home I suppose.

So ya. Nothing else. I love my dad.

2007-05-16T21:51:00.000+08:00

I'm so going to POP with the Secondary 3s. What I told Diana is super-duper true. The only reason that drags me down to NPCC is the Diraulluhareajti gang. They're the reasons why I still have this passion. Back then it was him. I love the gang to bits. They're my life right now. Aside from my family and bestie Toms that is. Ouh. Not forgetting Mr Telly. I love him. Alot. I think I'll become a drama mama soon. Go ask my cadets.

But honestly after attending POP training yesterday and today, I've realised that my presence will make a difference to the unit. I am going to miss my Sec 4s alot. They witnessed us metamorphosise from a naive, inexperienced NCO to a confident and knowledgable CI. The Sec3s onwards did not. Despite the heart pains they have caused, I still feel that IT TAKES A BUNCH OF IMPERFECT INDIVIDUALS TO MAKE THE PERFECT TEAM. I know 'cos I've experienced this with my Squad Five of CIBTC. Love them too ...

POP this Friday. Sadly I'm not able to stay throughout. Driving practical. Haiz.

Talking about that, NEXT WEEK'S MY TP!! Omg. I'm so screwed. Please pray that I will pass the first time aites? Hope Di will pass her PPCDL too. Ameen. Sorry can't accompany you. I have the College Day to attend. I don't feel like attending. I don't think I'll have any 'clicks' there. Haizz. Wth. Mummy coming though. Heez! I love her. She accompanied me to the EPT. Who would have brought a mother to such things huh? Only one other girl did that. Haha. I love her. I love MUMMY!!

Video editing is driving me nuts!! I just don't think I can finish the project by this Friday. Screwed up. I need professional help real bad. Aaaaahhhhhhh!!

2007-05-13T10:07:00.000+08:00

Oh dear. Like I ve once said and I m gonna say this again: POP is making my head pop! I can't find Shakinah's, Dean's and Whye Kit's individual photos. For what? Surprise laaa ... Where can disclose! Looks like I m owing the Old Man more Ah Kun kopi. Otherwise its Swensens. WTH.

Bapak just indulged himself in a new DVD recorder. Shrugs. Ours keep spoil-ing. I wonder why. I m still waiting for my laptop (Bapak is against the idea of me owning a tablet) and new handphone. And I need a new mattress real bad!! Oh my, think I m becoming progressively materialistic day by day. Shoots.

Satay and spring chicken was great yesterday. I can feel that I ve grown a tummy overnight. That fast ... And Cik Ani (Baboon's mummy) makes the best chocolate fudge cake and hot cocoa!! Her hands are magical when it comes to chocolate! Unlike mine ...

Ikea trip last Friday was great. Ended up buying only Fish & Chips at Box Bistro. Its halal laa!! Its at Courts, Level 3 anyway. The large serving of Fish & Chips costs me only $4.50!! You can't get that elsewhere. Plus, its super yummy! The portion is generous too. Im hooked really. Even the Kid's Fish & Chips were $2.90 but filling enough!! Their blueberry cream tart was satisfactory though. I'm buying a matress from Ikea. The rest I cant be too sure just yet. Wait till the room's empty before I make my purchases.

As for today, Mak is going out with her sisters to attend the Mother's Day Celebration at Orchard Country Club organised by Warna/Ria. Me? I ll be off to Parkway to develop photos of my NCOs and buy something for Mak and Nenek for Mother's Day. Flowers perhaps? We'll see about that. Adek doesn't want to follow me. Big deal. Then I won't follow her to Plaza Sing then next week. Sheesh.

I am experiencing a sudden surge in interest back in NPCC. Why? Beats me. All I know is I am now more enthu in NP matters, be it in the Unit or in the Area, but definitely not at HQ. Haha. I'm just plain lazy to travel to CCK and back.

I miss Tom and Kiah. Badly ... Akak's birthday yesterday. Greeted her and this is part of her reply, translated in English: ... Now that I am older, Just like you ... Haiz. Now I really feel that Im ageing. Im old. Old. Old, Haiz ... Never mind. Haha!

That's for now .. Salam alaik all!

PS> I haven't bathe ... Hahahah!

2007-05-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

Haiz. Im worked up. NPCC is making me confused. Bad! Haha. POP is next week and everything is in a big mess. Terrible. Horrible. Incorrigible! And right now, Cik Alil's printer is creating problems. Im screwed.

Spiderman 3 was great. I conclude that Peter Parker is such a sucky friend. But I did like the part where he turned emo. Right ... What a geek! He reminds me of me, only I have oestrogen and progesterone, he doesn't. Anyway, lesson to be learnt is: IF you're watching long movies, never go to Bedok's cinema. I am soooo not going there for POTC3. That movie is an hour longer. 3 hours. OMG.

Driving session was okay, my driving instructor was distraught when I told him I've already watched Spidey. He wanted to go watch with me actually. Haha. Right. Today's driving session was great. Except when I hit the pole during parallel parking. I can't wait for the test to be over. I want to get this over and done with once and for all!

Alright. That's it from me now! Salam alaik all!

2007-05-06T18:40:00.000+08:00

Hello!! Finally recovered. Though not fully, atleast Im now a far cry from what I was last Tuesday. Alhamdulillah (Praises be to God).

AND ... Finally NUS sent me the big letter. I ve accepted their offer in the Science faculty. Still no idea which course I wish to pursue, highly likely to be Life Sciences. Shrugs. But I have to take QET. Obviously. With a grade C6 for GP, ofcourse I have to. Medical checks and stuffs.

Baked two things on Friday. Cinnamon Snaps and Blueberry Oats Muffin. The former is a success, only its a teeny weeny bit toooo sweet. The latter, was a flop. But Mak and Adek are loving it. It serves as a great snack. And healthy too! Yumm. The driving session that day was bad. Was driving in my semi-fit condition. Mounted the kerb for the first time when doing Directional Change. Haha. Nonsense. 3 more sessions to go before my test. OMG. The stress. I can feel it already.

Skipped all my tuition tasks to rest, and also to not infect my tutees who are in the midst of their examinations. My pay will have to wait I guess.

Hoping to shop tomorrow for birthday presents and window shop for furnitures.

YES! I'm getting my own room soon! Dad's going to fix a wooden door panel up and a ceiling fan. Cool-ness. Plan to get a day-bed. Too bad the walls are roc-toned. Otherwise I would have wallpapered the whole room. And can't wait to lay my hands on the Fujitsu tablet PC. OOOOHH!! Soon I hope. Please Ba, I wana tablet please ... Hee! Im one spoilt kid. Haha.

Salam Alaik all ...

2007-05-02T12:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the third time I was down with a fever/flu in 3 months. What's happening? The weather? Or some infection? I don't know. Shrugs. The headache is bad this time. The worst of the three. May be going to the polyclinic later. The clinic downstairs is ripping my money.

Basically I did nothing at home yesterday, suppose to teach the Aisyahs Amaths but since I dont want them to get infected, plus its their exams today. So ya. My head is spinning now. Till Im well once more.

Take care. The weather has been unfriendly to our health these past few days. Eat your supplements alright!

2007-04-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

12 days have gone by since I last blogged. Didnt realise that. Haha. Been too preoccupied with life I suppose. There's always something for me to do everyday. This is also upon request by someone. Didnt expect my blog to be a hit with acquaintances! Hee. Thanks guys ...

Went to Family International Buffet for lunch with the Duku Road gang to celebrate Mak's birthday. Headed for the cold Soba noodles first, followed by the sushis! Somtimes I feel like Im becoming a slave to food. I live to eat and not otherwise ... Another birthday cake for Mak, in addition to what Abang and I bought last week. There were pics too! Will upload it when I truly have the time. Right now watching The Dancefloor. Cool-ness. They make me feel like wanna boogie! And when I walk, I feel like dancing. Haha. Dahla kaki kayu. Step pulakk ... PS. I think I beat Farhan with the buffet! Muahaha! Lost to him during the Tepak Sireh Showdown years ago. Its retribution if not vendetta! Haha. Whatever.

Last Sunday it was Swensens with Mak Jai n family. Shared the Giant Earthquake. AND do try their yoghurt smoothies! Its deli-yummy!

Mak and Bapak replaced Di to accompany me to the Interview for the MOE Teaching Award. I was shot by the interviewers. KENA TEMBAK LAAAA! Hoping I will get accepted but not really too hopeful (makes sense?). Up till now only NTU has sent me their response. Im in for their Biological Sciences (Honours) Degree Programme. Im more inclined to accepting NUS Life Sciences really. But no response yet. Guess I ll wait. And wait ...

Mak instilled this sense of paranoia in me. She keeps making me open the letterbox everyday so that I can see that NUS letter. She's an anxious as I am I suppose. Ofcourse she is. Hee. She's my Mak!

Been chancing upon accident scenes the past week. So scary! Almost all accidents involve either deaths or serious injury. From suicides to road accidents. Is this some kind of premonition? I cant be too sure ...

K la. That's all for now. Right now reading this book by Haruki Murakami titled Norwegian Woods. Makes me feel as though Im reading porn. Omg. First its repeated sexual encounters. Now its encounter with a lesbian. Sheesh. Im so turning yellow in the mind real soon ... Shucks.

Salam alaik all ...

2007-04-16T19:46:00.001+08:00

Hello! I plan to give my blog a new skin. Hopefully it will be something fresh and appealing to all.

So I had my first real Yoga lesson today. All these while I've been doing it with reference to Yoga guides. And boy was it a painful session! The pigeon pose. OMG. I just couldn't wait for the session to end.

But the sesion left me feeling refreshed somehow. I feel more alert alomost instantly. And I've decided to adopt my 'no-food-after-7pm-diet' once again. It helps me focus better. And I don't feel so heavy before going to sleep.

Savasana pose was the best. It made me feel relaxed. I wish to get the soundtrack Cik Zariah used for the session. Even Fufu (the cat) slept after listening to the calming tune.

I have this very odd sentiment in the morning: sometimes I just don't wish to be called to do relief teaching because I have already planned what I want to do IF I don't get called. But if I don't get called, I feel useless because no money is coming in. Haha. I'm weird.

I've already planned with Hisyam and Yanti. If I don't get called this Wednesday, I'm treating them lunch at Junction 8 (I plan to get a bag from there, plus Syam stays in the North-West). I can't wait for my driving session. Finally hitting the road again. My TP soon. I can feel the heat already really. Breathe in (3 counts), breathe out (6 counts) ...

And tomorrow, IF I don't get called up to work, I'll be tagging along with Mak and Cik Zana to Simei for brunch. Haha. I have to pay for myself though. Its alright. Now that I do have a relatively stable income (until August that is).

The kids at Macpherson were adorable. Not as adorable as the primary school kids who made me those cards. But they had their own way of making me feel respected. They said that I will have a long list of guys' number in my handphone. Haha. Was that really a sincere compliment? Or just to flatter me so they don't have to do work?? Haha. Which ever it was, I feel flattered already! Haha.

Life is great right now. I am happy. I have great friends. And the best mum one could ever ask for! I love you Ami!

That's for now. CHeck me out soon ya? Salam alaik!

2007-04-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm updating this blog. Yupps. Been busy the past few weeks. Basically these are what that's been keeping me occupied:

my beloved family, especially Mak.
my beloved friends eg. diraullu, tom, aina, yanti, syam, and just yesterday, huzaifah
relief teaching (was touched by the drawings and gifts those pri sch kids made for me)
my 5 tutees
driving lessons
my materialistic desires ie. reatil therapy
NPCC

I've decided not to let some setback (and liars) pull my spirit down. I'm happy in fact. Just waiting for my university application's result. I don't mind not getting into Medicine really, I just want to be posted. That's all.

Right now, I have a whole list of things to buy. This includes a Notebook (Fujitsu or Compaq most likely) and a walkman phone (aiming for the upcoming W610i). Ofcourse there are many other little things that you don't need to know. Not that important really.

Tom is in NS. Aina is still my best friend. And I'm still in contact with Huzaifah (as friends). I still miss Yan and Syam. Haha. Love these people. Love the three guys and gal who brought me out on the date justnow. Catch us in action on my Friendster profile.

My TP is on 22nd May. Hopefully I can pass it on my first attempt. Pray hard for me kayys? Who knows some day I may tupmang you somewhere. Provided I get myself a car. Isna has gotten hers. Me? Who knows.

Will be getting my own room once Cik Alil and Nenek moves out, tentatively in September. I'm kinda saving up to buy myself a day bed from Ikea. And a nice big wardrobe to stuff my clothes. Mak has been complaining. I've been hogging all the hangers there possibly is at home. Haha. She has been screaming at me for buying new clothes. True. I'm suppose to invest in pairs of good jeans and nice trousers. Slippers too. And this Nike bag I saw at Junction 8! Funkiness. If not the Elle bag I saw would do nicely. Hah. I've gone branded. I like brands. I don't know. I guess this behaviour of mine is inherited from Bapak.

He just got himself a new bicycle! God knows how much the thing costs. So his old bike is mine. Yessa. I'm sooo gonna lose weight. Wheeeeee!

I've stopped doing yoga. Haha. No wonder I've been losing my focus nowadays. Try asking Bapak that.

Okay guys! That's for now. Salam alaik! Catch me real soon ya? Wheeeeeee!

2007-02-27T20:42:00.000+08:00

Heyys.

ALot has happened the past week. I'm finally getting over the break up. Honestly speaking, I don't mind accepting him back. Forgive and forget. That's the best solution for this right now. It was tears after tears during the CNY break. Nobody cares. Who am I? That aside, bowling was great fun. Helped me forget to a certain extent. By the time we had dinner at Changi Village, it was already after midnight. Ate Nasi Ikan Penyet. Nice ... Though the Chicken version is nicer in my opinion. Bought the Roti John (reminded me of him, again; everything I do seems to relate to him) and ate it for sahur the next day. Yep. Puasa-ed. Need to lose the extra fats anyway.

My Diraul... gang were helpful. They made me forget all the sadness in life. Dined with them after unit training. Ohhh! And we have a new HO! Finally an eye-candy in the unit. Haha. Di has gone gaga over him. Haha. Why not? He's got the brains and the looks. Cool-ness. AND ... I was touched by the birthday cake they presented me during the muster parade. No wonder they purposely made me the commander. They thought I was attending the AAR on Wednesday but I didn't (sucky driving lesson that day anyway, the day when I felt soooo useless that life wasn't worth living!). Last Sunday, treated them to a Pizzza Hut dinner. Didn't expect the bill to be that much. But it was money well-spent I thought. Ha blanja-ed ice-cream. Hee. That Sunday was a memorable one. I seriously have no idea what time they left. It was 10.30 when I left. Haiz. That's them alright.

Tom was great too in hearing me out. Somehow guys are better listeners I find. I don't know. That's from what I've experienced. No offence ya. So he gave me this cute birthday present! Haha. A Winnie the Pooh lamp. Thanks ya!

So I've passed my boat practical and that means I can drive boats already! Di didn't but I'm constantly giving her my suppport, accompanying her to the places and all. Yupps. Bapak allows me to take motorbike license! I'm very3 tempted to enrol myself before the GST hike and expiry of my PDL. I'm trying to optimise the time I have. Hee. Plus, bikes are cheaper. Hee. Bapak has also been supportive in making my dream of owning a car a reality. Not that he's forking out money, but he is renting this Raya and has been hinting on getting an OPC. Hyundai Matrix isn't too bad. I prefer a family car to a stylish but small car. That will be in a few years' time I hope.

A Levels results out this Friday. Oh dear. I'm stressed. Err. Not really. Just that I'm too occupied with work and driving and my family that I have no time to worry about such things. I'm gonna pray harder over the next few days.

I'm still undecided if I should become a teacher. My result will determine my future. If it's good, I will apply for the MOE scholarships or awards instantly. I would love to enter NUS but the NIE BSc programme is just toooooo appealing. I'm not worried about the bond as I rather play safe. The job is already there for sure. What I'm afraid is that I'm not able to pull through. Good starting pay by the way. But I'm confident that I will make it if I put my mind to it.

Tomorrow's reporting time is 7.20 'cos I was called this afternoon. Oh dear. So early lor! I rather they call me that morning itself tho'. No? Haha.

Okies guys. That's it for now. Need to think of a good venue for our AGM. Haiz. No worries.

Tutor-ing this girl. So I'll be going to Punggol every week from now on. Passing by Ikea every Saturday. Passing by his neighbourhood. Haiz. Obviously I've not gotten over him completely. How can I?

Salam alaik all ...

2007-02-16T08:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Nineteen already. Hakim made me feel old. Hahah.

Haiz. Trying to cheer myself up. 'He' made me feel miserable. Keep welling up tears for no reason. I'm just sad. But I'm notsure why ... I've never met anyone so selfish in my entire life. But then again, I know that he's doing it for my own benefit too. Although it's largely for himself. Going through this makes me wonder how strong my grandmother and other widowers out there truly are to have gone through such a great loss. I can definitely pull through. It takes time, tears and definitely alot of effort to overcome this.

Back to happier aspects of life. I've been called up for 7 days in all. Hmm. TIme to treat people! Haha. I definitely need to do something for my beloved diraulluha. Haha. And the rest too.

Making Mango Swirl Cheesecake. Abang is ordering pizza. Can't leave home to eat outside 'cos nenek is around. So we celebrate together with her!

Yesterday was great. Some students called me cute. Haha. Adorable and ugly. That's me alright. Met mak at Parkway, after which Tom joined us. Ate the Bento thingy from Ramen Ten. Kinda bland. Prefer Ramly. Whee! My mum now calls Tom her God Son. Bought him two Fuji Apples that have Chinese chracters on them. For prosperity he said. Haha. Oh well. Atleast he had a memorable Valentine's. Haha. Weyy! Muslims aren't suppose to celebrate it in the first place lor. Haha.

That's for now. Off to the market with Mak later to get mangoes. Need to buy my contact lenses. Before shops start to close down for the New Year.

Salam Alaik all!

2007-02-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

One word to describe me now: confused. I seriously am. I don't understand what's actually going on in my life. Even my working days and time are not fixed. Nothing is going right. And between me and him, I don't even know what's going on. I know it's pointless to regret and cry now. But ... Haiz. Nothing's going right. Every now and then I'll think of him. Seriously, I'm lost.

Atleast I still have my family who'll always be there to love and and care for me. Free-of-Charge.

MacPherson Sec kids aren't so bad as Damai Sec's. Only one enemy made thus far. Honestly, this kid is either one spoilt brat or just one with a serious attitude problem. Shrugs. I don't care. But I'll still pray that he'll change his ways. Otherwise he's going to suffer in the working world. That aside, its already 4 days there. Hope they'll call again. This morning, Junyuan Sec called too but I've already confirmed with MacPherson. Haiz. Guess they'll skip me, like Damai. Haizz.

Can't seem to focus for my driving lessons nowadays. Got Mr Alex Lim again as my instructor. He's one experienced instructor. The malay instructors that took me last week made me drive to Tampines. Mr Lim said most instructors like to do that to kill time. And we don't learn much from the drive really. So he made me drive around Ubi. With the traffic congestion, he purposely made me stressed up ... Haiz. But it was for my own good lor.

Camp the past 2 days was alright. Something happened during the nightwalk. Again. Once again, I was the only one left alone not knowing what happened. Haha. I was sleeping again la! Maybe its just God keeping me away from such things. Alhamdulillah.

So I guess I'm done now. Need to sleep early. Need the rest. Just have a feeling I'll get called again tml. Nites all. Salam alaik ...

2007-02-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

The instructor made me drive all the way to Tampines. Funkyy ... The guy didn't think I would know the place. Please lor. Haha. I haunt this Tampines-Bedok-Eunos area. Can include Pasir Ris too I guess. The car stalled. Many times. Panic la when you see so many cars on the road. No? Then this lorry carrying new cars. Got honked by this big Hyundai. WTH. The driver was a learner too wasn't he?? Give me face la! Irritate my arse. For what?? Should have purposely let him get stuck behind me. Honk summore laa ... And we'll see what I shall do.

Made murtabak today. And learnt how to make chicken curry. Tomorrow I will be making chocolate chip cookies. Nenek finished up my banana cookies. Haha.

My weight has increased tremendously. By 3 kg la! That's alot okay. But I can't resist the temptation of lasagna and stuffed foccacia. They smell and taste sooo good! Need to exercise. I'm kinda bored at home actually. I need to do something. But what? I wish to go to school once more. Haiz.

WHEN IS THE RESULT GONNA BE RELEASED???

I'm soo impatient. Guess I need a job after all. I still have about 4 more months to kill. I'm such a burden on my family's income. Wish I could help them. Even if I want to get a full-time job, I can do so after I've finished my driving practical most probably in April. So how now? I need some project. Tutoring? See first.

I'm kind of bored. What's going to happen to me? We'll see about that ...

2007-02-04T19:35:00.000+08:00

Hee. First things first. I've passed my FTT. That over, need to focus for my PPCHA. I can't recall anything. Hmm. Maybe abit. But I need to buck up. Camp this coming weekend. So I'll be away. Preparation on Friday. May follow the rest for a movie after that. IF i have $$. Tomorrow another practical session for me. Review for Module 1 and that's it I guess. Hit the roads on Wednesday I guess!

Camp. Haiz. No kitchen sadly. Can't cook. We've agreed to have meeting throughout the whole camp. For the AGM. Haha. That'll be the longest meeting ever I suppose.

Okies. Peace I'm out!

2007-01-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Typing this entry as I'm revising for my Final Theory Test tomorrow. InsyaAllah pass. Doakan ya? Hmm. Been hearing people failing this multiple times. I hope I'll pass on the first attempt. Now I'm worried for my Boat Prac. Hmm. Just wishing my car practical will help with my boat prac. Need to mug for it real soon. Need all the information inside my head early. So that the info will be 'discharged' automatically. Haha. Whatever. Ignore me.

So I got a good driving instructor from the second session. Played on the road during the third lesson. Today, he made me do a Module 3 lesson when I'm actually still at Module 1. Haha. This guy's good. He made me drive up a slope. God! It was super hard! But I think I'll breeze through during my prac with the Module 3 instructor. I love the road. But I'm still scared of cars around me. Must have confidence!

So I don't think I have the time to do up my blog. That's so sad. But I guess I can start making cookies or cakes (Oreo cheesecake anyone??) for Valentine's Day? I should give up teaching. Should become an entrepreneur instead. Haha. Right. As if I'm willing to take such risks. But then again, if the returns are good, why not?

Relief teaching. Haha. Big joke. So I had so much fun being sadistic. Primary school kids are naive. Thank God! This weakness of their's can be used to discipline them.

"Teacher, teacher, that boy kick dog!"

"Teacher, teacher, that boy call me kaypo!"

"Teacher, teacher, that boy opened his clothes."

These are just some of the sabo/complains they wailed. There's more of course. They ran around in class with scissors in their hands. WTH. But I guess they're not as bad as secondary school kids. Nuraina has had enough of them I suppose. She called them 'monyets'. Haha. Sheesh. I've been warned by my cadets that the current secondary 2 batch is super irritating and simply beyond redemption. No comments. Seriously ...

Best of all, I'm actually influenced by 2 Filipino kids. I LOVE THEIR SLANG!! You know, the typical English slang they have. The accent is simply beautiful. Think I'm going to start speaking like them from now on. Hoo! Just don't take me for a maid, that's all! Hee.

Apart from these, there's also something that's been bothering me. Yesterday's episode of Gol & Gincu (haha! yes I admit I watch such sappy drama) led me to think. What if our beloved person is contracted with HIV for real. Not that I'm implying that mine has it, just that: What if? I like to watch sad stories because they make me think and reflect on how lucky my life truly is. Don't they?

So when was the last time you were thankful to God for having your Loved ones around you? Was it today? Just now? For you'll never know when it will be the last time you'll ever see them or they'll ever see you.

Live life to the fullest ...

2007-01-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ok. So I have this craving to bake cheesecakes. They're expensive to make. So? Haha. I think they're adorable. Making Oreo Cheesecake soon. Saturday perhaps. Friday making pizza. Making Cornflake jam biscuits tomorrow. Thursday morning doing Lempeng Pisang for nenek. Thursday afternoon doing some pasta dish. Anyway, I'm trying to make my nenek teach me how to make Penang Laksa. YUMM!

My nenek is my sponsor for ingredients. My Mum sponsors my driving lessons. Sorta. Have to pay her back.

Ok. Will continue tomorrow. Nenek wants to sleep. The PC is in her room you see. Nites!

Salam alaik all!

2007-01-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm. My first driving practical today! Got off with the wrong foot. Haha. Lost my way. Sad. But eventually found the car. I LOVE DRIVING! Sooooo funnnn! I think I'm gonna have so much fun driving. Only I suck at it for now. Next session would be this Wednesday. Gonna book as much pracs for now. Boat prac would be on 24th February. Coolness. Its at Poly Marina. Where, you may ask? Its at West Coast. Boat! Here I come. Just hoping my driving pracs will help me navigate in the waters better.

Anyway. I hearts him. Yupp. He's back in action. Not a patch up. But we're as close as ever. I'm gonna take good care of his heart.

Damai NPCC. Haha. Discipline has gone way, way, way down. Whootz. Not shcoking. With so much welfare. We're pumping up the discipline man! Soon. A gradual process. Haiz. A long, long way from now.

Still having problems with my brooch blog. Something wrong with something. Don't know what. Will ask Mann to help me. He's good at it. I think. Haha. Must make more cookies for him then.

That's for now. Salam alaik all!

Live in peace aites!

2007-01-18T08:36:00.000+08:00

So it has been awhile since I've last posted. Hmm. What's new? No money. No job. No friends to entertain me (they're all working). No boyfriend. Yup. You got that right. Haiz.

After much reflecting, I got snapped back to reality. Why get so worked up over it? He had his reasons, which obviously showed how much he cares (which is alot). It's ironical that I like him more when I'm suppose to hate him. Haha. Who cares. I made him my Big Brother. No worries. I've gotten over it. But nevertheless, its hard to forget someone significant in your life, no? Things between us are still rocky but it'll simmer down soon. We're still friends. But I've learnt alot of things from the past few months. Well, things happen for a reason. It's whether or not we can identify the reason.

That aside. Back to the happier aspects of life. I passed my BTT 3 weeks ago. Passed my PPCDL Theory Test yesterday. I got 29/30. Di got 28/30. Going to book for the practical test (PPCHA) later today. Haiz. Have to travel all the way to SP again because the office was closed by the time we finished our test. So leceh. Now I don't know if I can pass my PPCHA in one attempt. I hope I can. It's $52 lehh! My FTT will be on 1st Feb. Hmm. Starting my practical next week. Going down to CDC later to apply for my PDL. Busy? Perhaps. But I still need a job. I don't like to burden my family. Atleast clear my driving lessons fees and my handphone bill. But even that I can't. Anne was complaining about her job. I just feel that she should be grateful. I don't mind replacing her if the working hours can fit my driving lessons.

Anyone needs a Maths/Science tutor? Can tutor at night and weekends. Yupp. Fees can be further discussed. A Level qualifications btw (Haha. Confident seh dah pass).

I'm soooo tempted to try Springfield. But I've received strong oppositions from him and Bapak. I don't know. Its tempting. My neighbour got most of her calls to relief from Springfield. Caught in the middle. Haiz.

Anyway, I'm helping Mak's friend to sell handmade brooches. I've decided to go online. See if it works. Haha. Any suggestion for a name for my blog? Nice Swarovski brooches and simple rosette types also available. Will post the html once I've completed the site.

That's for now. Chatting with Hisyam online and doing up minutes for last week's meeting.

Salam alaik all!

2006-12-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

Has been raining heavily the past few days. The monsoon. Yerbs. Kinda scared. Just hoping the rainy season would have subsided by the time I start my driving practical. Had my second trial this afternoon, booked 5 more practicals and witnessed a girl learning motorbike skid and fall at CDC. Reached home drenched. How sweet of him to accompany me the whole afternoon, carrying my pink umbrella. Hmm. Reminds you of Sutun perhaps? Heez. Sorry wak. Will be having a Seoul Garden lunch with him either tomorrow or the day after. Yumm. Believe me, I eat more than you think, especially at a buffet.

The weekends was completely occupied with boating. Saturday was 12 hours of theory. The doctor who came to check on us was my family doctor back when I stayed in Chai Chee a decade ago. No wonder he looked soo familiar the first time I saw him. Hah. I think I'm gonna become a doctor. Ask Di why. It was confusing. But David (an Old Bird with the Navy) was encouraging. He was inspiring somehow. Sunday was even more memorable. Reached Ubin early in the morning only to get stranded at the gazebo, linked to the pontoon at the Noordin campsite, and was on the verge of suffering hypothermia. The whole day I was freezing. Suffered slight cyanosis. My lips were purple. Yerbs. Didn't eat much. Haish. Still didn't lose weight. My BMI is still normal, I just checked. The two days were memorable. I had fun. Yupp! Only wished that Ul and Lu and especially Mann could have tagged along.

Abang has left for Genting this morning. Just hope he'll be safe, especially in this weather. And I hope my new haversack reaches home safely. And clean. Hehh.

I've decided. By the second week of school term, if there's still no calls for relief teachers, I will apply for a permanent job. Heck with these schools. But IF there are calls, I will apply for any night tutor-ing job. Wherever I can find. Relief teaching allows me to sew and cook during non-teaching days. Heez.

Will be going to HTA this Saturday. For first-aid duty with Mann and Yvette. Miss both loads! Can't wait to meet them!

2006-12-14T14:07:00.000+08:00

Okay. Long post today. Not a single day, after my last paper, had I stayed at home the whole day. Nope. Not at all.

The few days after, went out to shop from prom stuffs.

Prom was alright. No DXO-ing for me. Booking in for camp already the next night. On the morning of prom itself, I went round almost the whole East of Singapore to prepare for camp (First Aid matters). Reached home only at 3, after applying for relief teaching at TKPS.

The few days before, I've already applied for BNSS and DMSS but up till today, there's no confirmation on teachers going on long leaves. I will fo to more schools if I don't get a response after X'mas. Right now, I'm unemployed. It's alright. If relief teaching fails me, I will have to resort to other jobs. Relief teaching will allow me to take up my driving lessons during off-peak hours. Yes, it's cheaper by almost $10 since I've decided to sign up under the school.

Annual Boot Camp @ Camp Resilience 2006 was one camp which I didn't want to break camp from. Why? I don't know. I just didn't want to go home. But I did after all. Can't possibly stay in Damai alone right? My main concern during the camp was casualties. Especially those with abnormal signs and symptoms. And the night walk was definitely an unforgettable one. Long story ...

And guess what, received an sms yesterday morning informing me that my application for this weekend's Powered Pleasure Craft Driving License (PPCDL) Course has been approved. How late can you be notified. The HQ seems to be ineffective nowadays. But I still get my free license. Hehs. My worries now is if I fail the tests. Fortunately NO BTT nor FTT is required, but the Boating theory test is a killer I heard. Practical test will be within 6 months after the course itself. Problem is, to practise, we need a boat. And boat rental is definitely NOT cheap. Haiz. And what if I fail? I have to pay back HQ in full I suppose. That's like about $500 in all? Oh dear ... But I'm confident that I can do it.

Some say if one call pull through the A Levels, he/she can definitely breeze through everything else. Maybe? I don't know. Right now, my main concern is $$ (ka-ching). No money, STRESS!

Still waiting for my Sakura International Buffet treat from Bapak. Hmm. Yumm!

And I'm still contemplating if I should take the Diploma in Islamic Studies. It will be good for me. I can teach at part-time madrasahs. It's not about the $$ really. It's more about filling my time up and gaining experience. I not only want a good duniawi(life before death), but also a good ukhrawi (after-life).

So I guess that's it from me right now. I'm kinda bored actually. But I seriously have nothin' more to write and share. Hmm. Visiting nenek later. E-trial test for BTT tomorrow. BTT is next Friday. Stressed? Maybe. Just hope I won't get my Boating theories and Motorcar theories mixed up ...

PS. I wanna go to Candy Empire at Millennia Tower! Need my Wonka bars and jumbo-sized Crunchie!!

2006-12-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

Heyys.

Really rushing thru this post. My sister needs the computer. Basically had the time of my life since the last paper. Everyday is packed. Heez. Now I'm on the verge of falling sick. Feeling slightly feverish. Since the camp really. Now trying to gain access onto my e learning for my Basic Theory Test. Basically, my holidays will be occupied with driving lessons, NPCC, shopping, family and ... . How carefree you may say. True. But I still need more time. To learn how to cook and starting to sew my own clothes. Hmm, can start my own fashion line perhaps? Getting some cloth soon I hope. Eager to start making my own blouses. Hee.

Camp was a great experience this time. Did first-aid. Terrible. First camp and it was already that bad. Now I'm considering a weekend job as an outdoor specialist. Hmm. Can become rock climbing instructors. Haa. Can still remember the good old rock climbing sessions we had during PE. Hurr. Altophobia conquered. A great achievement. Yerbs!

Yesterday was AAR. Did a few scoldings. But all I can say is, if I don't scold people now, they'll never learn. NCOs aside, cadets are another big problem. Those with attitude problems but have the passion, those who simply telling white lies, those who are not serious, etc.

Reflecting on this, I can only conclude one thing: I'm finding the younger generations are more matured than I was at their age. And its evident that they are more adversely affected by this wave of Globalisation and especially Americanisation. It can be beneficial. But at the same time, the ramifications can be detrimental.

Well, that's how the world is right now. Paris Hilton forgot her knickers. Now Britney. Soon, the whole world will be knicker-less. THe influence is just too strong.

I'm really praying hard that I will not turn out that way. Call me conservative, orthodox. But heyy, that's the way I want to be. I have the right after all ...

not right ...

2006-12-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

Something is still not right. My tagboard is not up yet. Hmm. This is bad. Anybody can help?

2006-11-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

Finally. It's updated. With a new skin. Heh.

Four major issues to deal with right now. First, Prom. Secondly, Annual Unit Camp Resilience. Third, to apply for relief teaching. Lastly, my driving lessons.

Will continue in depth on another day. Right now, I need my bed. My brain's going dead real soon. Brain juice being sucked out of my head.

Nights all!

2006-07-03T20:51:00.000+08:00

I am caught in the middle. Torn apart. Where to go from here? Everything's a mess. Nothing seems right. I have a choice. Do I?

Sometimes I don't even know if I'm sane. Maybe I am. This is where paranoia sets in.

Ignore me.

2006-07-03T20:38:00.000+08:00

'Oh Tuhan, lembutkanlah hati nya ...'

2006-06-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

Life has been kind of on the rocks. OMG! Spidey 3 coming out soon! Cool. Oops. Sorry for the digression. Yup. Almost a week now. And things are still in the process of being resolved. It's just so hard to come to a consensus to make both parties happy. Not that the process is stagnant. We're working on it. Time is of the essence. It will be resolved soon I hope.

Commontest this time. Didn't really put my heart and soul to it. Time constraints, NPCC, etc. Trip to Ophir was great. Mini honeymoon. Don't think I've posted anything on it? Will write when I really have the time. Life-changing experience indeed. The weeks that followed was hectic. Had to rush here there. Juggling NPCC and studies. Not an easy task. Fortunately someone was there to help me relieve much of the stress. Unfortunately, I sort of passed on the stress to him. I'm really sorry. On the outside I may look fine. Try asking him how bad I was under pressure. It's definitely something that I want to forget. A bitter ending? Possible. Only time will tell.

With so much things to think about, Mrs Lee simply had to drag on the purchase of Panorama tickets. She literally blackmailed us for not buying the tickets: she will intentionally avoid herself from becoming our referee for any interview, be it for employment or for university admission. She wasted 40minutes just to make us buy. At the end of the day, tickets were purchased fortunately. I showed her a black face. Whispered to Hilya: People who likes to keep and seek revenge will never have a peaceful life. This is what Malays call busuk hati. Some people ...

Tomorrow is unit's phototaking session. Jason's brainchild. Hope everything goes well. Nice pics. Especially the unit pic. Must groom them to become smart and presentable cadets. That's what the Sirs and Ma'ams are for.

Saturday is SYF parade. Suppose to be down for duty. But Mr Chua has already banned me from engaging myself in any activity that has to do with NPCC. I've promised Mak, Pak, OC and him. Going to hold on to this promise. With the exception of my area ATC ofcourse. Hee! Monday is a holiday. Wednesday too. Tuesday is half-day, thanks to Panorama. No thanks because we'll only be spared of one Chemistry tutorial period. Sad. Gonna mug. Saturday will take a break. Planning to get the Havaianas sandals after all. Going with Mak. Yayys. Girls' day out. It definitely beats having to do duty under the hot sun. Poor him. Last minute, they made him the parade marker. No worries. You'll do fine. I have faith in you. And that came from the bottom of my heart. Worried because he's not been feeling well since the BBQ. Temperature was 39.1 when I took it. That was bad. Rest well k.

Results for Bio, Chem Paper was out. Maths too. GP Compre. Failed my Compre simply because I wrote out of point for my AQ. Got only 1/2 marks out of the full score of about 9 or 10. I suck. I know. What to do. The rest, I did fine. But wait till I get my SQs and FRQs. I think I'm gonna cry. Whatever it is, I've learnt alot of lessons from this CT. I will train myself on my cheong-ness. I left blanks because I didn't have the time. Sometimes, when you just know too much, you tend to dump the whole thing there, not realising which are the relevant ones. That's what happened to me. From the CT, I've learnt to appreciate the question alot. Read it over and over again. And keep referring to it when answering.

Tomorrow's our last unit training till after A levels. Hope I don't cry or anything. Laaaa. It's not like I'm leaving forever. Ouh. Btw, my return to the unit after the big As is still uncertain. We'll see about that.

I want either Purple or Green for Hari Raya this year. Hee!

PS. Deep inside, I am actually worried. But I have to put up a happy front. To keep myself going and not dwell too much on my worries.

Takecare all!

2006-06-29T21:12:00.000+08:00

Just when you thought life was getting on fine. And all of a sudden, you chance upon this stranger. A stranger whom you have so much hatred for from the start. You have heard many times before that many great lovers out there started out as enemies. And true enough. It happened. Within months, friendship blossoms into something deeper, not realising that the situation and environment wasn't favourable. Somebody's bound to get hurt or suffer great losses. True enough, it's all about making sacrifices. But how far is one able to go just to make the other party happy? Is it worth sacrificing your future for someone whom you've just met?

Life's a gamble. You either gain, or suffer a loss.

Everything turns out just fine. Ofcourse there's bound to be ups and downs in life. But nothing too severe that it cannot be resolved. So things go on smoothly, both enjoy one another's company. As time passes by, both grow more comfortable of one another. Too comfortable. The bond that has been established grows stronger day by day.

And so does the overprotectiveness and jealousy one has for the other.

You will unknowingly start to limit your partner's freedom. And gets worked up over the slightest of worries. Worries which are sometimes invalid. Assumptions are made. And when things go wrong, the past is brought up.

All these while, when you thought everything was fine, you discover how much your partner has been secretly suffering from your tyrannical self-centredness. You thought your partner was happy. Too bad. That's what YOU thought. You don't realise how much suffering they have gone through.

And when too much is simply too much, they get caught in between staying or going.

Stay because they do not want to lose a great person like you.

Go because they do not wish to risk getting hurt again.

Now, here you are. In this dilemma. To let go and free the one you truly love from any further suffering. Or be selfish and make them stay. But at the same time determined to change for the better. But question is, will things be guaranteed to get better? Or is it just another empty promise.

So we've heard that when two persons are meant for each other, little effort is needed to make the relationship work. Some may agree. Some don't.

Caught in between, confused and on the brink of losing your sanity. What would you do?

Only time will tell.

But benefits will not be reaped if effort is not put in to make a relationship work.

And the biggest concern now is Sincerity. How sincere have you been? And how sincere WILL you be?

Once again, sacrifices are inevitable.

2006-06-06T18:06:00.000+08:00

Today's 06/06/06. Setann. Omen realeased today. Won't be catching it though. Simply 'cos its not my kind of movie. I watch strictly crap movies. Yerbs. Ouh. Im gonna post this entry at exactly 6:06 PM. Yeahh!

Spent the whole morning and noon in Damai. Taught the Sec 2s tent-pitching and Ul with the flagstaff. Managed to teach tent-pitching better today, even though there was no proper lesson plan. Haiz. Haha. Slacking already. My interest in the CCA fading gradually. Let's just hope that I get back that enthu-ness after A Levels. Haha. Ofcourse. Signed up PPCDL already. People would rather sign-up for driving license and here I am getting license for boating. Heez. There's such a thing called Powerboat Racing or so I heard. Kinda funkyy! ATC is gonna be fun. Can't wait for it though! Wanna see my Sec 2s do me proud (I HOPE they will) by being able to pitch a tent properly and enthu-ly participate in all the activities. Yupps! And I discovered that I can still peg although it was years since I actually pegged wholeheartedly. Sec 2 guys are more puny than the girls. This is unbelievable. The world has gone all topsy-turvy. True enough.

Finally visited Ubin last Saturday. Hmms. Kinda hot. The weather I mean. Sorta walked the north and north-eastern part of the island. Didn't join the A9 peeps for makan 'cos of my religious class. But ended up not going as Mak was terribly sick. That morning started out just fine. But I guess I was being very insensitive that day. I offended Mann. Sorry ya. I terribly am. But everything went back to normal in no time. Yupps. An EXCUSE (not a REASON) for my impulsiveness would definitely have to be the tiredness experienced from walking.

I really wonder how I'm gona survive the 11 hours of expedition in Ledang this Sunday. I'm soo dead meat. Honeymoon eah? We'll see about that. Haha. Suppose to train by climbing up and down the stairs from the void deck lobby to the 12th floor lobby. Done it before years ago. Guess I'll have to do it real quick. Otherwise ... Shopping for stuffs. Mostprob for my NPCC buddies, esp Ul, and some of my classmates. But I seriously can't guarantee that I can get stuffs for all, considering my pathetic budget and the time factor for the shopping trip. He wants to look for a bracelet. Yupp. And VCDs. Haha. And if I can find cheap Havainas sandals there, I'm sooo gonna grab it and go. So how much $$ is actually enough? Hmms. I've no idea ... Can get for his mum something too. As a form of thank you for the BBQ stuffs she prepared for my class yesterday.

BBQ yesterday was great. Too much food actually. Some didn't turn up and they didn't eat much. The first time I ate so much in a very long time. The stingray and satay was especially superb. Anne's brownies were also deli-yummy! My cherry blossom konnyaku was ok. Thanks to Mak, who helped me in the preparation of the jelly. BBQ yesterday was a great experience. And most probably I'll have to endure two more BBQs this June hols. One by my Sec 2s and the other one during the dinner at Ledang. Hmms. Gonna be fun. If my area is gonna have a BBQ, that will be a total of 4 BBQs in one holiday. Whoa. Gonna grow fat real soon. Fat already la actually.

Ouh. Ya. I discovered that he is better at kitchen stuffs than I am. So ashamed la! K. I suck. I admit. I only know how to bake, prepare desserts and make Western. For everything else, I'm hopeless. Serious. Haha. But heyy, I'm not that bad ok. Don't ever bring me to the market. 'Cos I'll be super blur there. Haha. I'm not the market kinda person. Supermarket, definitely a Yes. Haha. Shopping? Don't ask ... Haha! Shopaholic me. I miss shopping sprees and retail therapy sessions that I used to have few months ago. Not for the time being I suppose.

Guess I've gotta be going. 6:06 liao. Haha

2006-05-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

Yupps. A long while since my last post. Too bad. There was once I've done up the whole entry nicely. Sadly I didn't save it. And too bad, after encountering some problems with the publishing part, everything was gone at the click of the mouse. Imagine how 'kemek' my face looked, knowing my hard work at typing an entry was gone to waste. Sobbs ... SO here I am once again. Learnt my lesson: to save a draft of my entry before posting it.

Came back from the polyclinic only to learn that the growth on my leg is actually a viral wart. Gross. I know. But not as gross as the preserved bodies of dead baby hamsters and mice and maggots we were finally interested in during Bio just now. Even Miss Leo was disgusted. Some of these bottled preserved carcasses are even older than us. Whoa. Can you imagine how long they have been preserved. In fact, most of the bodies are still intact. The wonders of preservatives. Remind me of mummies.

Ok, so back to my wart. I also learnt that there is no X-Ray at the National Skin Centre, the opposite of what my GP told me. Hmm. Or maybe the eccentric polyclinic doctor is the one who doesn't know his stuff? Don't know. Don't care. All I know is that I'm not allowed to pressurise the affected area. But wth. I need 1 cm more for my standing broad jump. And before that, I'm going to run 3 rounds on the track. My feet is sooo gonna be in excruciating pain. Too bad. I'm just as stubborn as the wart. Hahah.

Ok. So I received the news on Faj being a recepient of the SPF-NPCC badge. Not that I'm jealous. It's just that if only NP was the way it is now as it was during my time. Yaa. But whatever it is, my main aim is for my cadets to succeed. And bring up the unit's name. Woohoo. I'll be back after my A levels obviously.

Ouh.Yeah. Passed my First Aid Assessment. Will be receiving my certificate in 2 weeks' time. I can use my knowledge and skills for the coming June training. Uhuhs. Kinda wasted that I didn't take up the 3 Star Kayak. But I guess I need the time to study. After all, I need to do well for my commontest before Old Man will allow me to go to ATC. Haiz. And he's proud that Damai got our first SPF-NPCC badge holder. Haha.

I'm engaging in a sad discussion with Diana now. Greatly shaken. Haiz ...

Bunga and his flirtatious ways. Haha. Guess I knocked into him some senses. Haiz. Its just so hard to help people. But I guess both parties are happy now. Haiz.

Mann. Hmm. Let it be something for me to keep to myself. Haha.

OK! I'm saving my post ok!

2006-04-23T21:52:00.001+08:00

Finally after so long. I'm blogging again! Woohoo!

Yesterday was memorable. Totally. Didn't acknowledge him at all as I told my fellow CIs. Whootz! Love those two. I pity Di yesterday. The parade was great, although they did mention about the standards dropping. The area 9 peeps were helpful too. Rayyan wants the 'East' monopoly to expand. Roping in area 10. Let's just hope its a unity that lasts. And I AM very tempted to attend area 9's ATC. Too bad I'm having my Chem commontest the next day. And I am proud of my cadets who represented the unit at NPDP yesterday. Went to sit with them till late at night. I don't know. I suddenly have this surge to further improve my unit. Damai can make it. It's only a matter of effort and time. The proposal my sec2s did up for me was super kawaii la. Ok. So they've never seen a proposal before. But it's good practice. I want them to figure out their own format for a proposal. Not adhere to the norm. But as long as it is detailed and organised, I don't quite mind. Combined training for them? Yes please ...

Fought with him. Everything back to normal now. Someone has to relent. Definitely. I can get impulsive at the spur of the moment. Minutes later, I will simmer down. All it took was just a shower and solat to calm me down. He didn't expect me to reply yesterday itself. But heyy. Someone has to give in.

I got my kayak two stars award last weekend. Three star? No. I'm waiting till after A levels. The HQ is sponsoring. Provided I serve for the National Camp as a returned favour. I can't la. I'm now deciding if i should go to Gunung Ledang. Good experience for me. And exposure. As compared to the KL-Melaka trip the school is conducting. Jamiyah camp. Must get the dates fixed and book the campsite asap. We'll see if that's possible. So packed this June hols. I don't even have the time to pamper myself. Today made me realise how precious my Sundays are for revision. Yupp. I hate myself. Now I have to commit myslef for the Firts Aid course I signed up last week. Just waiting to get the confirmation. I think I'll go call them up tomorrow. And get the confirmation. And now Yvette is saying that HQ is conducting a course in soon. Right ... Never trust the word 'soon'. If it's June hols, sad to say I'm super busy. And there is this possibility that we have to repay by doing duties too. Like the kayak. SO, I rather pay. The money is from the claims I made from performing unit duties. And now I don't know where to dig money for the Gunung Ledang trip.

Today is the first day in months that I got sick and tired of eating and the sight of food. The Apam Pulau Pinang proved too much for me. It sucks! And so was the service! Luckily the auntie 'compensated' by giving us a complimentary pancake. Sheesh. The beef horfun was worth it. Khairunnisa's mum was the lady behind the counter. Cool. She remembered my mum. Haha.

This coming week is yet another busy one. Learning First Aid from both Mann and Joeyee. Yeahh. SYF this wednesday, can discuss with Mr Chua about the Jamiyah camp. URGENT! And Thursday pay for the First Aid course. Tuesday if I have nothing on, I will follow to HTA. Tomorrow collecting the tshirt. Uncle forgot to print the '5' of my 'squad 5'. Crap. But it's ok. I think.

Haha. Sleepy liao. Want to go sleep. No. Harden my face. Hahz!

NITES!

2006-04-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

2006-03-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'm going to pay for my 2 star kayak tomorrow. Going with Ul, Huisan and MB. Cool. Let's capsize more! Woohoo! Will go and get some nice lunch meanwhile I'm there. Back to school by 2.50 to fetch Anne so we can go to Bras Basah to get the Bio textbook. All these will be done SOLO. Having some time for myself after making someone accompany me here there everywhere. Thanks Mann.

Tomorrow's Chemistry SPA Skill D. I'm stressed. Gonna have PE in the morning. The question now is: To bathe or not to bathe? Haha. How dilemmatic. Should I just study for Chem? Or go refresh myself so I'll be prepared for the Assessment.

Today's training, oh wait, was there one in the first place? Hmmm ... Malay Rock never dies?? You guys must be pulling my socks. Wait. I'm not wearing socks. Hahah! Ok. Lame. Helped Mann design for his squad's tee. Sooo cute la. Annie did most of the design. ALL actually. She's super-creative! I like the GOLF. Haha. Super cute!

This Saturday is Speech Day. It's either I attend that (I'm not officially invited in the first place) or I go for some sea sortie thingy NPCC (Sea) is organinsing. Haha. I LOVE to tag along.

Now having a converation with the Di and Ul on the Sec 3 EXCO members. I feel bad for bombarding them with such questions. But I personally feel that such things must be taken into consideration before the finalised EXCO result is released. I'm always the pessimistic one. But it's always good to have pessimism. Why? Pessimists view things/matters from a different perspective. True really. Don't believe? Wait till you run the Unit, only then you'll know.

Back to my convo now ...

2006-03-10T21:37:00.000+08:00

Fine. So I haven't been updating my blog religiously as I used to. I'm busy. That's all. And definitely tired. From school. From NPCC. From putting up with Hermann's nonsense. The usual things. Only they got out of hand quite recently.

Since Damai Unit's Secondary One Orientation Camp in mid-February, life has been quite smooth sailing most of the time.

Academically, I am able to understand what is being taught. Maths has been fine. Only I totally despise integration. I can never do well at it. Wait. That's a sweeping statement. Haha. Learnt that during GP today. Biology is getting more and more interesting. It's my forte from the way I approach the subject. I have decided on a career that is more inclined to medical science. Talking about careers, I volunteered in class during CME to be interviewed in front of the whole class. Screwed it of course. But heyy, I learn best at making mistakes. And I'm always learning something new each day. And that's the reason why I look forward to each and every day. That reminds me of the 05S29 guy. I may not know him but one thing is for sure: his presence has left a lasting impact on those who knows him. And forever will his name be immortalised.

That makes me kind of pressurised actually. Seeing the seniors cry upon receiving their results, I honestly would not know if I'm going to be like them. Try comparing a cup of joyful tears and another of sorrow. There's no difference. The point that I'm trying to drive at is you can never tell if they were shed by a sad person or one who is elated. Ok. Crap.

Spiritually, I have decided to further heighten my iman (faith) after attending ceramahs (religious lectures). There, I have become motivated. Definitely. Ustazah emo injected so much guilt in me. I want to repent. Change my ways. Ameen.

Also, I have overcome my fear of altophobia. Only two storeys la. But still ... A good achievement. And it actually took me 8 SPE lessons before I actually liked rock climbing. I',m going to attend courses after A levels. And perhaps attend OBS abroad. With my favourite people ofcourse. Tomorrow's my kayakking 1 Star Course. With Ul and Lu. Yerbs. Finally Lu's wet dream is coming true. Hah. Right on ... Lunching with Diana most probably and Ayam Penyek for dinner with maybe Dilah and Kiah. Ooh lala!

Went to Beach Road yesterday. Had this large cup of corn shake. Ooh. I wanted corn juice actually, but corn shake did me well. They made it into something like a Frappucino. I loooove it! Didn't have time to eat the kebab or the sup tulang. But the trip was worthwhile. Retail therapy works best for me. The best medicine to relief stress! Got myself booties, first aid pouch and stuffs for this Thursday's camp. Going over to JYSS to help out with the campfire on Friday most probably. Crap. Expedition at Orchard. Must be prepared for any casualties. Sooo dead if anything happens. Going to get myself equipped with the proper skills and knowledge. Just in case. And going to get ice pack la. Damai cadets are very prone to getting bruises. And this is not a sweeping statement. Because it is true. Had to run all the way to the canteen to get ice from the vendors. Luckily they were kind enough to give us for free. Haha. Going to pack my First Aid Kit. Going to the course soon. In April based on Head Training (Field) Samuel Kwek. Woohoo! Just hope I get to sign up for it ...!

Yeah. Mr Mat Bunga appealed for TPJC. And accepted la. Thanks to the ever-convincing motivator. Haha. Mak scolded me for pandai-pandai kacau decision mak bapak budak tu. Ya. True. I felt bad. But then, I'm just doing my part as a friend. Yupp. Appealing in was kacang (reminds me of the shoelace incident this morning at the morning assembly). Haha.

My plans for the coming week:

Saturday/Sunday: Kayak Course (1 Star); Ayam Penyek for dinner!
Monday: Ubin Trip (very tempted to follow them); Annual Camp Meeting
Tuesday: Clean up NP room; GP remedial; Escape Theme Park!
Wednesday: Rope Obs tying; Service Learning at Pasir Ris
Thursday: Annual Camp (Orchard trip!!)
Friday: Annual Camp; JYSS campfire construction
Saturday: Annual Camp
Sunday: Facilitating job!; And homework perhaps?

Busy but fruitful holiday. Holiday that should have been spent on revising for A Levels. Wow! I'm sooo prepared. Congratulations Sarah. You have 8 more months to go. Happy mugging ... Oh. One thing about Sarah: She NEVER mugs. (This is also not a sweeping statement) I despise coffee too. But I do have this fetish for sweet stuffs when I'm studying. Ooh!

Ate Dhall Rice with Chicken and Bubur Terigu with Corn for dinner. Army rations lah what else. Yummy though. Atleast I'm well-nourished for tomorrow's activity! Woohoo. Peace OUT!

Meanwhile, do enjoy the following snapshots taken during 05S05's Learning Journey to Ministry of Manpower last Wednesday. (Was very3 tempted to shop at Great World City, which is directly opposite the prison-like place. Haha!)

2006-02-17T19:18:00.000+08:00

I'm suppose to be in Damai now. But I told the rest I needed a break. I'll come later. Leaving home right after Isyak. Overnighting tonight. Thinking of staying up all night but I know that's impossible. My bag is as small as it can get. Bringing my school bag. The haversack. Yupps. Can stuff everything I need. 17 litres capacity. Uhuh. I love that bag. Totally. Old Man threatens to throw me into the noisy fountain. Birthday present la. Besides the Homec room key that is. Haha. Soooo fun. Planning to cook and bake in the middle of the night. Midnight snacking is unhealthy but it won't hurt doing so once in a blue moon. Right? Roasting marshmallows. And I need Di to teach me Differential Equation. Crappy chapter. That crappy people must take. Haha. Just joking.

Brought brownies to school yesterday. People find it weird that I'd rather give when I'm suppose to accept. Hmm. I thought it's always better to give than receive. Guess many don't seem to agree with it, especially on my birthday. A birthday that started out peacefully ended up in me breaking down into tears. It's okay. I have other people to make my world go round. Campcraft comp training seems to be like a big joke for the team. They are a big joke themselves. Ma'am buay tahan ah. Ma'am feels like knocking them down on the spot. Woohoo. Power ah Ma'am. Dah eighteen perr. Hee. Not taking my driving license yet. Not going MoS yet too. Soon. Till all my buddies have all turn 18. Faster laaa people.

I think its wise for me to bring $$ just in case the food gets burnt. Haha. After all, Di and I are the ones cooking. Maybe UlLuHa too. Maybe. Tomorrow is the competition. The best time to improvise ideas for the Girls' team. Kinda tired now actually. I think I'll go sleep. And wake up when it's time. Cannot afford to be late. Otherwise ...

2006-02-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile ...

Oh crap! VDay. I prefer Bday somehow. Two more days. Not really. Just hours away. But today has been a great day for me. How great you may ask? Absolutely wonderful! Why? Yes, I was showered with chocolates and sweets and flowers. Especially the roses. Hmm. Such a dear. Thanks Fauzy. I know I have been kinda garang-looking all these while. Haha. Guess you weren't taken aback by it. That's good. The roses smell sweet by the way. I love them!

Benji gave the whole class chocolates. Hafiz gave us lollipops yesterday. Have yet eaten it. Swapna gave us Tiffany's Toffee. When I asked Hilya if the toffees aren't halal, who's going to be responsible for our sin? She said Swapna. Haha. That was a joke by the way. A lame one that is. Besides gifts, there were also words expressed to show our love for the ones we loved. Hafiz declared his love for Mrs Foong, which was responded coldly of course. On the condition he does his tutorials. Hah. Mrs Lee was another victim of his. Only she knew how to handle Hafiz in a more creative way. Got the roses after lab. Then went straight home. Now Kiah told me that he actually wanted to say something to me but guess I was in a hurry. What do you expect? I'm suppose to go out with Mak. Yes. I celebrated VDay with her. Went to Parkway Parade and basically spent whatever funds we had.

Ate Beef Hor Fun served on the mini wok. It was delicious! Beats the beef noodles many crave for. The portion of meat was generous. Definitely. Worth the cost Mak paid for. I'm surely coming back for more! Saw Khairul Anuar at Parkway Parade. Couldn't be bothered actually. Suddenly I heard someone singing, thinking it was some Mats trying to disturb him. When I turned to look, it was Khairil. Wth. Singing out loudly in the public when you're not performing? That's far from weird. Got a gift for Hermann Daniall Assik. I love his name ... The person, maybe ... For what? For fun. Haha. Just as I would for lifting weights. He can survive a week in the jungle. Maybe I can try stranding him on an island for years. And see if he has enough chickens to drown or to twist their necks so he could survive.

Ate popiah with him yesterday. His nose was peeling. And he dare said I like to koRek my nose, not koPek-ing the mask I use. Urgh. Saw Khairunnisa. Again. This time with her boyfriend. Hrmmph. He knows Mann. We sat and eat. And talk, definitely. The day before, I shed tears upon hearing the plight that my long-time friend was going through. She was pouring her emotions out to Ustazah. How could I call myself a friend when I couldn't even tell that she needs help?? But sometimes its her part to share it with her 'positive' friends. Yes. That's the adjective the ustazahs used to describe me and Adah. Went to Bugis. Discovered that Qi Ji actually sells lasagne, only its filling has an oriental twist.

Lu thought I was a big Franz Ferdinand fan. He's got tix for a gig this Thrusday. Yes, my birthday. And thought it would be a grand birthday prezzie for me. Not only the concert, but also backstage passes. How cool is that. Unfortunately, Ul's instincts were wrong. I don't even know who Franz Ferdinand is, let alone know that it is actually a BAND. Whoa. I'm one ignorant lass.

Back to reality. NPCC. Campcraft training tomorrow. Hmm. Now I'm wondering. Should I go to Hermann's unit before I go to mine? They're having their competition training too. He wants me to come to comment and give constructive feedback. But also, most importantly would be the experience. He's really proud of his cadets. I've not reached that state yet to attain nirvana. It takes time. The irony is, his unit is younger than Damai, yet it is far well-established than mine. Ultimately its the type of discipline that we instill in our cadets that would determine the outcome ...

Ouh. I'm planning a surprise on my Bday. Just you guys wait and see!

2006-01-27T20:26:00.000+08:00

Okay. So today started out just fine. I didn't miss my bus. Yes, I was late yesterday! The first time I'm officially late for school in 5 years. Merry X'mas. Oops. Wrong. Gong Xi Fa Cai ... And I was very early today. VERY. So me, nyonya and hafizah decided to slowly walk in to school. Managed to show them the pineapple shoots growing in our school. YES! TPJC grows pimeapples. Hrmmph. Maybe once it's fully ripe, we can chop it and make rojak. Yayy! And when I am early, MRS LEE WASN"T THERE! WTH. She's gone back to Penang I assume. Urgh ... So I didn't skip my GP tutorial today, unlike my other classmates. Only four remained. The rest have either gone back to their country or were preparing for the performances. Debated on sports dividing people more than it unites. In a way it's true. But I rather not discuss now. I have to do an essay on it even ...

The concert was vibrant. I liked it. Only it's meleret. Why? 'Cos the performances are kind of predictable. Yeah. You know what I mean ... The tarian was aite. Kiah and Anne were worried sick they screwed up the performance. No la! Where got! So me and Hilya sort of enjoyed the performance as audiences. Uhuh. And I skipped the ketupat-making session to slack outside MLEP. Reading my storybook as I plugged in my ipod. Kiah and Anne gave us the mandarin oranges they got. It was sweet! And delicious! The canteen was closed so we went to the waffle shop to eat instead. Finally, my first waffle in months. Yummy. Choc-cheese. And mixed berries ice blend. I love it! Although the chocolate and sugar from the ice blend was making my throat mucusy ... So we went back to school to pray. By the time we left the premises, it was almost 2pm. Reached Tampines Mall at 215 exact. The slot for Memoirs of a Geisha that we intended to watch was at 215 la. When we saw the queue, we totally gave up. To get the ticket will only mean sacrificing about 10 miutes of the movie. Never!! So me and Anne went to Century Square. No choice. 345 pm show. It was only 230. So we decided to get engaged in retail therapy. Went from shop to shop. Anne got herself this pullover from U2. It's pink. I got a pink blouse. 13 bucks only la ...

Got myself the First Aid book. Was tempted to get an autograph from James Lee. Who you may ask? The local Caucasian who pens Mr Midnight, the crappy Singapore version of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series. NOT. Hello, went to Times to check out if they sell the first aid book at a lower cost. Nope. Got myself a Strawberry Shortcake plastic folder. I'm happy. Retail therapy is the best stress relief ever.

Memoirs of a Geisha was superb I think. Although I felt the novel was a far cry than it's onscreen version. I liked it all the same. Now waiting for the Da Vinci Code. So it ended at around 615. I didn't get to meet Hermann to talk to him. I'm really sorry. Managed to get my Asar though.

I'm happy. And I don't even know why. Maybe because I got myself a bargain? Perhaps ... Btw, the blouse has this absurdly colourful beads sewn onto the neck of the blouse. It's crappy. But thanks to my tudong, it'll hide. I only want the colour. That's all .... And the fact the blouse is kinda long ...

2006-01-25T17:03:00.000+08:00

I'm chatting with some unknown boi_nemo87 on msn right now. I don't know how the heck he got my email address. Asking now ... Okay. I think I'm blocking him. No further questions. Here I am making sarcastic remarks aka jokes, and he accuses me of being immature. WTH. Let him be. So I blocked him. Yayy.

Today was great. Did my rock climbing. I dare say that I suck at it. Totally. Not that I'm altophobic, just that I can't seem to pull my heavy self up. Yes DiUlLuHa, I admit I'm fat! Sheesh. And they get excited when that happens. Urgh. I didn't wat at recess. Drank grass jelly. And then came GP lesson. An's crush, Mrs Ivy Chia, wasn't here today. So I bought honeydew into class and decided to eat in class. It wasn't even half when it slipped off the plastic and dropped onto the floor. Whoa. Wasted ... And the Auntie decided not to sell waffles today. There's always something that's bound to stop me from eating. Fortunately, nothing stopped me from savouring the oily delights mak brought home from Geylang. In every cloud there's a silver lining. Guess that's what they mean by that. Hmm ... I actually squeezed out the oil from the vadai @ masalodeh and it took me two big squares of the kitchen roll before I'm satisfied that the fat content is at a safe level. Had the most unusual samosa. Its big. And has a rough texture. Not the typical samosa. And the curry puff @ epok-epok was filled with black pepper chicken and potato filling. Yumm! It deli-yummy. And Mak finally bought the delicious kaya spread from Onan Road. It's one of a kind I tell you. OOh!

Campcraft training tomorrow. I need to get a life really. Problem is, it is my life. Now trying to gather as many qualified people to apply for Red Cross's first aid course. The HQ will pay the full cost if we're able to come up with a list of names I heard. I honestly wouldn't want to pay. Duhh! 70 bucks can be well spent on other things too you know. But then again, it's a matter of life and death. Talking about first aid, had my first 'victim' the other day. I did Chee Kwan's blister. Hmm. Guess I need to work on more people before I can actually do well. Haha. More casualties please. Thanks. Right.

Between me and Mann, evrything's fine now. Yeah. Stress relief is important in day-to-day living. Reminds me of my Project Work. The results coming out soon la! Mid-Feb prospectively. Hrmmph. Malay too. Cikgu was asking around if we were interested to go on a trip to Malacca this March Hols! And it somehow fits nicely into my almost busy schedule. I'm loving this life ... I think I'm off to get more Vadai. Which would also mean killing more trees.

Went to Kallang yesterday to check out the prices and colours for making t-shirts. It's kinda cool. They sell hats for $4 each. It's those mesh cap. Yepp. He even gave me a sample for free! Shell Lubricants. Haha. Decided to go home early. Mak has been making noise. I keep coming home late you see. 7pm is considered late for me. Ya. Now you know. And I have yet watched Memoirs Of A Geisha! THIS IS SOOO NOT HAPPENING! Especially with The Da Vinci Code. 18May. I makesure no one disturbs me ...

And my brain has been kinda straying off lately. Notsure why. It's something like 'lazy eye'. So if I look dazed or blur or ignoring you, please bear with me. I'm really blurrified ... Yeah.

2006-01-21T09:20:00.001+08:00

The whole wee has been great. School, life, npcc ... Until yesterday. Thought I would be happy before I sleep. But noooo. Someone simply had to get on my nerve. But come to think of it, you're so not worth shedding tears for. Yes, I cried! Apologies are responded with silence. Is the world coming to an end where the girl is the one who gives in? Or is it because I'm being too apologetic. Now the word 'sincerity' is being questioned. Tears are wept because of someone's selfishness. Is this acceptable? Shame on you for making me cry ... You're convincing me that you are so not worth waiting for. Maybe you are ...

SO, back to the happier aspects of life. Had the time of my life yesterday night. The DIRAULLUHATI, yes there's the TI added. Went to Luq's house for the first time in our entire lives. It was cool! 16th floor. The view from his bedroom window was breathtaking. Sometimes I prefer older flats, where the blocks are spread quite far apart. And you can savour the view! Saw Parkway Parade. Hmm. Ouh. And the food! OMG! *drools* There was the macaroni and spiced chicken wings. But the best of all was the APPLE STRUDEL! Ouh. It's delicious. The pastry was soft and the custard was simply .... indescribable! So we went home without any design. Predictable really. Reached home at 10.30PM. Thank God I didn't bring my handphone. Otherwise ... Earlier on, many problems arose during the training. The instructors were being put to the test and worn out from thinking soo much of the problem. Ridhuan was there. Had a heart-to-heart talk. He has changed. Abit. But I think it's going to take time. He'll be coming to my unit more often I suppose. Got my money from Old Man. Gonna go buy the first aid book very soon. Meanwhile, my first aid kit is in a way 'more prepared' for any accidents or boo-boos. Especially during campcraft trainings. I can still remember what happened to Mira the day before the competition itself.

Bio topical test was ok. I think. For a person who didn't study. Haha. I really deserve to fail all three tests. But Hilya reminded me that no matter how easy we find Bio paper, as compared to Chem, the results will always prove otherwise. I'm so in deep trouble. Very.

Earlier this week, on Monday to be exact. Shopped for first aid stuffs only to be offended by two irritatingly insulting guys. I don't take things to heart. I never do. That's why people love to take advantage of me. I'm not that gullible okay. You should know your limits. Campcratf training on Tuesday was for the girls. Started at 5PM thanks to the graduating students' visit to Republic Poly. Yes, they saw Syam. Guess he was almost everywhere. You know how friendly he can get. Meanwhile, the rest of us, were in school. Plugged in our mp3 into the speaker we have in the NPCC room and played it out loud at the atrium. Hakim was fascinated by Ella's Sembilu. Let him be. He and Rul were obsessed with the song. Let them be. Yan came later to accompany me. Meanwhile, I was reading the first aid manual Old Man lent me. Thanks!

I'm now reading the maual to build up my first aid knowledge just in case anything happens. Atleast I don't have to bring in anyone from outside to become a medic. And you can say that I mean it sarcastically ...

2006-01-21T09:20:00.000+08:00

2006-01-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm. A lot has happened since last Friday. Definitely. Madam Nuraida is no longer our GP tutor. She's pregnant you see. S o we have this Mrs Chia to teach us for the whole year. She is so the opposite of Mr Remedios. She's making us submit our reading log tomorrow. The rest have done 60. It is only fair if i were to complete 60 too. I am now at my 44th. I'm planning on doing 50. Good enough right? I still need the time to revise for Chem's topical test tomorrow. Losing hope already. I don't think I would want to continue my dreams of taking up Chem 'S' paper. I heard of how tedious life would be and deprive me from my vibrant social life. Haha. Yeah right. How vibrant can it get? It's like Groundhogs' Day. What misery ... It's been raining and raining and raining. Obviously. Experienced brain freeze even this afternoon. That's how cold my world can get. Even water droplets condensed on my window. Brrr ... The cold weather is making me hungry. Totally!

I'm suppose to study for Chem. But guess what I'm doing instead? You're right! Procrastinate! Just the word to describe what I'm doing. Blogging. Yeah. Reminds me of the discussion we had in class just now for GP. Poverty: An Impossible Dream? And ofcourse I agreed. Nothing in this world can be easily solved. Especially major global problems such as these. Yeap. Hmm ... Makes me think of how lucky I really am to be born into this warm and comfortable home. More like a war zone to me. Urgh.

Skipped Malay lessons today. Heard they were making ketupats so I'd rather go study Chem. I can't be bothered to make rice cakes. Not for now atleast. The food we buy is somehow getting better. I can atually feel that I'm putting on pounds. Paranoia you might ask? Perhaps. But I honestly need to watch out what I eat. Cos when I start to eat, it's almost impossible to stop. I think you get what I mean. Getting obsessed with food. Ouh ouh.

Tom's hamstie died on Hari Raya. Sad. He keeps thinking that it was the cold climate that made the mammal froze to death. But based on my expertise and Adek's expansive knowledge, there is more to it than that. Unnatural death? Perhaps. Ouh. My hari raya was dull like hell. Fortunately Mann topped up his prepaid. Yay. Not that hard to contact him again. Cool! And Raudhah got herself a motorola razr too. Hot pink. Eeew! What's with this fascination for hot pink?? I still don't get it. Pink is nice but not that nice to be the colour of your favourite thing. I'd rather black. Cos mine is black. Hee! My ipod has mor songs already. My tunes are already uploaded. SO ... I love my songs!! At the Beginning by Richard Marx and some lady is nice. Played for umpteen times. I love it!!

So now Raudhah's telling me that she's changed her name to Tiki Shuka. WTH! Ya. And the reason is because of the many Raudhahs that revolve around her. So she wants to be different. Gasak la eah. Tanak masok campor. Talking about name. Mann told me that his name is really Hermann Daniell Assik. There is neither bin nor binte. Yeah. Haha. SO Hermann is his name. Daniell is his dad's and Assik is the atok. Hmm. Weird right? I thought so too. Then I asked if he was Jawa. His reply: No. Palembang. And I was about to kutok him ah. But who cares. Boyan la, Bugis la. So confusing. K la. Confusing my self to the extent that I'm feeling sleepy. I must be on terra firma in order to contine with my revision. And that would only mean one thing: SLEEP!! Meanwhile, lemme charge my ipod nano. That's one thing that is troublesome about ipod, besides the itunes that is. Yeah. I'm heading off to LaLa Land. See ya!

2006-01-06T11:38:00.000+08:00

I'm down with a very high fever. My temperature was 38.5 this morning. Junjie's was 39.3 based on Diana. I didn't beat him though. And thanks to the fever, I've got pimple breakouts. AAAHH! Talking about thermometer, let me tell you what happened at the parade square yesterday. Mrs Lee aka Hot Momma was to check that our thermometers were in working conditions. She checked mine first 'cos I was the first in line. She switched it on and automatically the display showed a temperature of 36.5 degree celsius. She screamed at me for being negligent. But heyy, atleast I brought a thermometer ok! Many others lost theirs or forgot to bring. I took the effort ... She marked me as NOT having thermometer. Sheesh. Double sheesh!

Had fever since yesterday morning. The night before I stayed up till 12 am chatting with Shasha and Luq online and at the same time downloaded songs. The fan was directly aimed at me and the weather has been kinda unstable really. But I believe that it was due to the fact that I didn't complete my antibiotic dosage given by the doctor. That was about 2 weeks ago. But what many told me was that antibiotic will only make you more dependant on a stronger one in the future as the virus and bacteria are already accustomed to the antibiotic. I think you know what I mean. By the way, Damai instructors are now calling me 'Rah'. Why not? It is part of my name after all. I like it. Normally people would call me Sarah, but kinda long right? Yan, Na, Kim, Luq, Mann, Rul etc. Only one syllable.

Can say that I really started the day on the wrong foot. Why? Early in the morning, I had fever. I decided to go to school anyway. Next, I forgot to bring my ipod. And you know that I have 4 straight hours of break. WTH. And because I was too distraught, I accidentally stepped on fertiliser. I couldn't see as it was dark! The sole of my shoe smells of salted fish/dried squid. Urgh! Lucky not shit. Dog shit. Otherwise, I have to do the sertu like the other day. And I didn't meet Eric 'cos I believe he took an earlier bus at the other bus stop. So I washed my shoe in school after Biology lecture and spent about 15 to 20 minutes in the cubicle. I told myself, if I'm going to be late for school that day, I'll cross the road and take 59 home. I had to carry my uniform case and my heavy and bulky bag. As usual, I placed my uniform in the MLEP room. After Kiah had her prata, we went in front of MLEP room and 'tried' to study Biology: Mitosis and Meiosis. But we failed. I ended up teaching them how to do Yoga. Ouh. At that point of time I was already in slippers as I accidentally wet the insoles of my shoe, which in turn drenched my socks. I taught them how to polish boots until they shine. They called me paranoid because they felt that my boots were shiny enough. I didn't think so. As a CCA leader, you must be better than them at all times. These followers will imitate whatever we do. So our behaviour and appearance play important roles in moulding these people.

Biology tutorial was fun. Miss Leo used these thin wires covered colourful furs to teach us Cell Division. I thought it was creative of her. I really love the way she teaches. Honestly. The whole class ought to agree with me. At 1.30, we were released and I straightaway went to the MLEP room after prayers to collect my uniform. Then off to Damai! Took 59. It was drizzling when I reached the bus stop but I walked on. Maybe that was why my fever worsened. Once I reached Damai in my Harry Potter pullover, I found Mr Chua and asked him if it's ok if I were to put on Mufti. He agreed knowing of my fever. Herman (in his neon green A9 shirt) and Joeyee were already there. So was Na. Rul was late, AS USUAL. I decided to change to full uniform after much contemplation. Why? I believe in One for All, All for One. Yep. Not again. Hah. Brought my camera. Hmm. Drama already started in the NPCC room. You'll see what I mean. So the booth was kinda shagged and empty, honestly speaking. I could still recall the CCA Exhibition two years ago, where my batch did the planning. We got the highest intake of cadets ever in the history of Damai. We defeated Band for once. About 100. But sadly, we had a quota to adhere to: only 40 will be take in. And which batch is it? Masturah's ofcourse! Now left with only about 25 of them. No comments. Must do something about this. These people need that moral boost.

My legs trembled even more as the Exhibition progressed. I think I've got the flu too. Downed 4 Panadola for the whole of yesterday. Yanti and Hermann were scolding me, persistently calling me a Panadol addict. Luckily Syam wasn't there, otherwise ... He's an anti-drugs person. Yeah. Farid and Zaf came down at around 3pm. Farid talked to all the CIs and the potential ones too. Had a good sharing session. In a way. I'm fascinated by how Zaf does her tudong. It stands without any reinforcement. Haha. I'll try. But I know that it has got to do with the shape of one's face. Mine is like an egg. Hurhur. And its kinda hard. Maybe I should do trial and error at home, like what she did.

Many more photos were taken, but sadly, my battery is kinda worn out and needs to be replaced soon. Fortunately there were no casualty except for Fajrina. She was dehydrated I could tell. She's in-charge of the booth, the squad. So they brought her into the NPCC room. Thank God there's the medic. Tak sia-sia aku panggil kau datang Mann. Anyway, Yanti and Mira took care of her alongside the Medic. So, in the room, Mr Hermann started to flirt. Naughty, naughty. By then, I decided I cannot take it anymore and decided to rest for good. So I sat, talk to them for awhile before they left and slept. By the time the next person came in, it was already 7pm. WTH. I don't believe in what Madonna sings in Hung Up by the way. Time goes by so slowly?? Right ... By the time we left, it was already 7.30 pm. Mak called and insisted that I rush home. So I did. It was tiring but definitely a fruitful experience. And the funny thing is, whenever the CCA has any major event, I'm always down with fever? Hmm. I wonder.

Mann called me at night, but I didn't pick up. Was busy brushing my teeth getting ready for bed. Called him back thrice, but no one picked up. Obviously he went out. Again. Can you please get your prepaid topped up soon? I beg of you ... By the way, I like his name. Hermann Danial Ashik or something like that. First time I know his proper name. So which one is your dad's name ah? Is it even one of those names? I'm blurred.

Eating suji Mak made yesterday. Kinda hard. But nice la. Talking about food, I didn't eat much yesterday. Ate spaghetti in school and porridge at night, with pau. But for me, no matter how sick we are, the appetite is always there. Ouh. Adek too is down with fever today. She's also at home now, only that she's asleep. NPCC training later for the Secondary 2s and 4s. Lemme see if I'm coming. Mak might make noise and insists that I stay at home and rest. I don't know.

2006-01-04T16:37:00.000+08:00

Okay. So Hilya gave me the shock of the day at around 5pm yesterday. Bad news: MATHS TOPICAL TEST IS TODAY! I have yet revised. My holidays were spent more on NPCC than homework and revision. Yeah. The thought of giving up popped in my head every other time. But instead of calling it quits, I took breaks in between. Yeah. SO that I won't feel the boredom and tire myself out easily. Slept from 6pm to 7. And slept again at 11. As I was tossing and turning in bed trying to sleep, guess who smsed? Not Herman la. It was Aan. Ya, it's been awhile since I saw him or chatted w him online. Told him about the envious anonymous tagger and he updated me on his life: he's taking driving lessons, thinking that motorcycles are too dangerous. He can la. Filthy rich guy. Right Aan?

Anyway, Herman called. His prepaid was exhausted! Cehh. And there I was, worried thinking of the possible stuffs that might have happened to him when my call couldn't get through. Most of them were bad I tell you. Haha. Sarah. Always thinking of the negative.

So today was another slack day. As of yesterday. Had Chem and Maths lectures. Topical test was at the end of the day. It was quite okay. Bearable. I could answer most of the questions. Anyway, Eric is crashing TPJC tomorrow. I just hope he knows how to survive la. Asked Asri if he could join his group but I think he'll have to face questions if he does so. To save his butt, I made Eric go do whatever he thinks is right. Going to school with him most probably tomorrow morning. Good. He can help me carry my uniform. Ya. I have to go to Damai tomorrow. And wear my uniform. Ish. And lesson ends at 1.30 tomorrow instead of the usual 12.50 because of Bio. Ya. I won't skip lesson tomorrow, I promise. I'll go to Damai straight after that. For recess today, we decided to go healthy and ate 'yong tau fu'. Shared with Anne and Khai. The sauce was the best. It was tangy and definitely the one that enhances the food.

Ouh. Tomorrow. Another pathetic slack day. Only Bio lecture for the first period and we have up till 12.10 from 8.20 to do whatever we want. Mosprob we'll be eating. No test to mug for tomorrow. Uhum. Ouh. And have I told you about my class pullover? It's nice. It rocks! Very the Gryffindor-like. Yeah. Only mine wasn't very well sewn. The stitches at the collar came undone. But it's already fixed up thanks to Mak. Talking about Mak. She had her mengaji exams this morning. And she scored the highest la! And she thanked me for teaching her how to use the diaphragm to project her voice and control her breathing. I'm proud of her. But not Adek. She wants to drop CSP, after taking it for one whole year! All because she has to go to Changkat Changi for the lessons as it is no longer offered in her school due to drop in demand. Haha. Her skirt's shorter than mine by the way. Irritaing girl. And she dared say that my skirt is short. We'll see who's a bigger minah. I can guarantee you that it's gonna be her. She's kerek and anggek. You just feel like sepak-ing her just by looking at her face. The face of disgust. Urgh!

2006-01-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

This was what happened yesterday. I woke up early in the morning to prove to mak that I AM ready for school. Exercised for about half hour or so, and prepared to go out. Our destination: Changi Village. Our objective: to test out the Nasi Lemak 'power' there. Yupp. Now that we have a direct bus, we had no worries. We left at around 830 am. The bus driver was taking his own sweet time. The hypothesis that I have derived from my bus rides on board 59 is this: Indian drivers drive like 'peleset' whereas Chinese drivers are those man man lai kind. I wonder how a Malay driver would drive like. It's just a hyprhesis which I think many would agree. Yup yup.

So the rest f the day was well-spent. YA RIGHT! AS IF. I spent the whole aftrnoon on the Internet besides trying to complete my Biology tutorial on Cell Reproduction: Mitosis and Meiosis. WTH. I think I'm gonna be dead when school reopens. Saw the new time-table and brought all my assignments (which was of no use because they were barely touched during the holidays) to school. Printed out my time-table too. Watched Superstar Campus to catch Shermaine in action. She was great but abit shaky. Maybe 'cos of nervousness. That's common. And she managed to get through to the next round, TOP 8 GIRL. Yup. Superb. Btw, for those who don't know, Shermaine Goh is in my class. We love you Shermaine, and will definitely support you all the way!

Went to school this morning, like a mad woman. All because the bus driver was taking his own sweet time, maybe because he's trying to readjust to the presence of us school kids. But I was on the verge of reaching school late. And you know how Mrs Lee is and her paranoia. I had no chice but to run the last leg of the journey to the courtyard. To my shock, they issued the new time-table! WTH! I printed it out la!! And announcements included that this whole week will be basically lectures and topical tests for those involved. NO TUTORIALS AT ALL! I'm happy man. Simply because I've not completed my assignments. Topical tests for the rest would be next week. Another good news is that, the canteen vendors have changed! OMG! I must be dreaming. The 20th Student Council has in fact shown us that they are working the ass off to save us from the dreadful food of the past vendors.

There's now 4 halal stalls, excluding the drink stall. A rice and noodle stall, Western stall (the most popular by far), a 'yong tau fu' stall and ofcourse the Indian stall (they sell roti prata!) ... Honestly, I'm elated. There's a variety of food now. I'm spoilt for choices. I mean it.

Another problem arises. Thanks to that someone. Hrmmph. Making me worried now. I do have better things to think about ok. What isit that you want to say that you can't even sms it ... I wonder. Please stop making me think of the unthinkables(seriously). My brain can't function optimally till I know of your hidden agenda ...!

:: my.dysfunctional.institution ::

2005-12-31T16:48:00.000+08:00

Okay. Today's trip is one that has totally gone wrong. TOTALLY! I thought we would have a nice trip, sit and eat. But noooooo. Someone simply had to spoil it all. And for today, it was TWO someones. I am irritated, agitated. Why? Cos' we ended up going home only after checking out Converse's boutique in Tampines Mall. Only one pathetic shop and they 'buat hal'. WTH! But atleast when anyone asks: "Did you go anyhwere on the eve of New Year?" I could answer 'yes'. Yup. Saw mamak again. Why isit I keep seeing him these past 2 weeks?? Saw Masturah too. Made me think of Campcraft Comp. I heard rumours saying that she's looking for a replacement. Ya right. As if me or Old Man is going to let that happen. Sometimes I don't get it these people's mentality. CCA ex this Thursday. Old Man made us put on Full-U, but we won't be doing much, basically supervise. Like what he said, let them do the job, while us, the senior citizens, sit down and rest. They're building some swing I heard. I'll be the first to sit there I can guarantee you. With my uniform on. And take loadsa photos.

Anyway, back to my family. Today proved how dysfunctional my family can get. Bapak with his unbearable ego and big fat adek with her far bigger and fatter mouth which simply can't shut. You can tell that I'm losing my temper. You bet I am! Because of them, Mak also 'buat hal' by being hysterical. Drama in the middle of Century Square's Metro. And guess who's the victim, the one who had to coax everyone? ME la! WTH. Bapak abandoned us at the interchange and went home. We decided to do more important stuffs first before going home. Adek was being irritating on the way home. Urgh!!! She plugged her ears with her radio phone (she didn't dare ask from me the ipod nano) and when I told her to press the bell (which was far from mak and me) , she 'tak tangkap' and persistently didn't want to remove her earpiece. I called her 'bodoh' in front of this makcik and her daughter. I don't care anymore. I'm already hungry and you people made me lose it. Ofocurse I'm gonna blast back. I scolded adek on the way back home from Tampines. She is obstinate like a DONKEY! She is an ass after all. URGHHH! Went to the minimart and got instant noodles. Now I'm full but still flared up. Indulged myself in the chocolate vanilla roll and somewhat calmed myself down.

Back to yesterday. Had fondue, nice Pineapple rice and loadsa other finger food. Yum yum. But Syam, who initially went hysterical because he didn't see any halal logo on the caterer's van, ended up eating the most. But it's good la. Trying to make the food worth the $10 paid. The souvenir was nice too. A memorabilia of the Police Academy. It is basically a wooden lidded box with a metal sheet that has the sillhouete of the Police Academy engraved attached neatly on the lid. It was indeed significant that the event was held at the Police Academy and not anywhere else. Everyone was gorgeous ofcourse. Especially Joeyee. Yepp. Him and his blue shades. Whoa. Crumpled shirt with a small crystal brooch attached to his collar. And I thought I wanted to put the pink 'breast cancer' ribbon pin on my collar, only I'm wearing a tudong. Hidden after all so I placed it on my MYUK purse. Ya.

Area 10 and area 9 was very ON. Area 10 because our HO Adrain was the emcee for the night. We were the noisiest I think. Banging tables until my handphone dropped to the floor, bag got spilled by a cup of grape juice. Sad. But right, I loved the night. Everyone was alive. Straight after the event ended at around 10pm, it was time for photo-taking la! Area 10, squadmates la. Everythg was great. Went to the shooting range and took photos with the guys. Then, ran towards the carpark all because Syam's parents were already waiting and offfered to send me and Mime to Novena MRT station in his Dad's car (it was an 8-seater la!). Abang was to fetch me there. When I called him at Novena, he was still at home! But right, he was quite fast. He was on his bike la. That was the first time he pillioned me. I've only taken Uncle's Vespa and enjoyed it. But motorbike? Never in my entire life so yesterday was the first. Learnt alot of new things. That whenever he turns, we must follow and lean our body towards the respective sides too. And that never hold them at the shoulder but rather the hips. Yup. But that atleast they now know that I don't have a boyfriend etc. who owns a bike. Yeah. Whatever. But I was kinda scared with the way he rides. He likes to squeeze in between vehicles. There was once at Serangoon that he 'selit' in between two buses. I was on the verge of crying la. Then a few metres ahead, his engine went dead. It was so scaryyy! Crazy guy. From yesterday, I could definitely tell the stark differences between riding a motorbike and a car.

Evrything about yesterday was indeed memorable. Thanks to those who have made these differences.

PS. I can't be bothered that tomorrow is the new year. So what? I don't see the reason to celebrate. I see it more of a new day rather. Yupp.